Monthly Archives: May 2016

Walk The Talk.

Walk The Talk.

To the astonishment of one and all
Speaker Carter stood up tall and made the call
To send from his chamber his Commander-in-Chief
Who left with a sheepish grin… or was it one of relief?

No more questions would be answered by John,
He gathered up his papers, his dignity, and was gone,
Stepped down and and made his swift retreat the back way;
Thanks to the Speaker there’s little John will have to say.

He walks quietly down the corridors of power,
Its lonely ,but John savours the occasional free hour,
Not having to smile in the face of facts according to Fairfax,
Not heeding the hubbub from those ever-diminishing Newsshub hacks.

It’s the perfect time for John to take a
Rest from the fallout surrounding Fonseca,
A time-out gives him time to calm down and unwind-
But trust Greenpeace to upset Jolly Johns peace of mind.

PRIME MINISTER EJECTED FROM HOUSE.
John Key has been kicked out of the
House by the Speaker for the first
time since being elected. PM Key
was made to leave the Debating
Chamber after he continued to talk
over top of Speaker David Carter
after he rose to his feet. Key
had been in heated debate with
Opposition politicians over his
claim Greenpeace was listed in the
Panama Papers data bank.

Beggars Opera.

Beggars Opera.

It’s a troubling time down at the Town Hall
Since Gerry’s CERA has gone and left us- with sod all,
Now finding funding for the new library looks a forlorn goal
Unless our Council finds a charitable trust with a big bankroll.

Where can Lianne find the ten-million-dollar shortfall?
Who is that new face there, propping up Ballantynes wall?
It’s another hard luck story from another poor hard up soul-
So please place any loose change into Her Worships begging bowl

CERA OFFER FOR LIBRARY RETRACTED. BEGGARS PRIME LOCATION BALLANTYNES.
Documents obtained by The Press
show the city council was taken
aback when now-defunct Canterbury
Earthquake Recovery Authority
(CERA)said it had been instructed
to ‘discontinue efforts’to raise
money for key projects. Both Counci
and the Crown hired consultants to
generate philanthropic donations
and sponsorship.The Council chief
executive had previously written to
CERA to underwrite 10 million for key
projects. CERA said no.

Devils Advocate.

Devils Advocate.

If Boehner thinks Ted Cruz
Is Lucifer in the flesh,
Will he now modify those views
And look at his options afresh?

Cruz is the Mad Tea Party’s Right candidate
Cracked, but not quite non compos mentis,
But John, imagine if the whole worlds fate
Rests in the hands of the Sorcerers Apprentice?

Ted Cruz is ‘Lucifer in the flash,’
Says former Speaker John Boehner.

Former House Speaker has called
Presidential candidate Ted Cruz
Lucifer in the flesh in remarks
that exposes the depth of
discontent within the Republican
party. Speaking at Stanford
University Boehner called Trump
his ‘texting buddy’ but offered a
more graphic response when asked
about the Texas senator.
‘Lucifer in the flesh,’ the former
Speaker said. ‘I have Democrat
friends and Republican friends. I
get along with almost everyone but
I have never worked with a more
miserable son of a bitch in my life.
He said.’

Half A Dozen Reasons.

Half A Dozen Reasons.

What are six proud well paid Warriors to do
When forty-two unanswered points are put on you?
Lay all the blame on the perfect Storm
Or ponder on the reason you didn’t perform?

Discuss your disappointment with the coach?
Apologising sincerely to him would be a novel approach;
Should the big stars shoulder a little blame,
Perhaps even knuckle down and up their game?

The sixes dismiss that chat with a sniff, a snort, a cackle,
The truth is the coach is but another thing they won’t tackle,
And as they fly into Auckland and touch down
The super sixes talk turns to a high old time on the town.

The idea is to not let a bad day leave you depressed,
Energy drinks doctored with a prescription work best,
Role models be damned, down that cocktail goes;
And we’ll see six dopes full of pills, bull and Monster egos.

DRUG BOSS SLAMS ‘RECKLESS’ WARRIORS.
Drugfree Sport NZ boss Graeme Steel
says Warriors players involved in
mixing prescription drugs with energy
drinks on a night out were ‘reckless.’
It is understood five of the six
players involved have admitted taking
the drugs on a night out after a big
loss to the Melbourne Storm. The six
players were dropped to reserve grade
football and also ruled out for playing
for their countries.

Babes’n’arms.

Babes’n’arms.

Another frazzled mom driving down the highway,
She has packed a lot (and a tiny tot) into her busy day,
There’s no time to stop and smell the roses once its begun-
Let us hope that today won’t be her final one.

But from underneath the front seat
A forty calibre pistol slid out at the feet
Of her itchy fingered inquisitive two-year old-
Its a scenario that makes the blood run cold.

What chance he’d find the trigger- and pull it?
What were the long odds he’d let loose a bullet?
But matricide is going to haunt this innocent son,
Guess we can be grateful he didn’t call ‘shotgun.’

Such a mournful tale that church bell tolled-
Toddlers and guns should be strictly controlled,
What lesson can we take from a mother too soon gone?
Don’t go off half-cocked without the safety on?

A mother in Milwaukee gets shot by her pre-school son,
He found a gun under the front seat, the child is in
the back, gets hold of the loaded gun. Another lesson
in the power of the Second Amendment?