Monthly Archives: June 2016

A Dogs Brexit.

Out of touch, out of Europe, out of support, out on their ear.

A Dogs Brexit.

David Cameron resigns after his unexpected Brexit defeat
Leaving blond bouffanted Boris eying up 10 Downing Street,
It’s not been the winning European weekend Rooney had planned,
Nor for Roy, who mismanaged a stunning loss to lowly Iceland,
While Corbyns cohorts exhort him to pack it up and jack it in
Only No-mates Nigel could count this weekend out as a win.

Down In The Valleys.

Welsh rugby team lose four games in four match tour.

Down, Down In The Valleys.

In the Clubroom at Llanelli a hushed funereal tone
Grips the crowd ‘neath the TV as the final whistle’s blown,
Live in colour, it’s the darkest sight they’ve ever known;
Big Dai Owen steps outside, he needs a moment alone,
He turns his face up and tears rain down that face of stone.

On the flight back to a not-so-welcoming shore
Warren asks a passing hostess for ‘just one more,’
She understands his anguish, she knows the score,
Even at thirty thousand feet he can’t get off the floor,
Three Test defeats and Gatland’s gazing at the door.

Up In Arms.

Getting into the minds of the gun lobby in the USA. A scary place.

Up In Arms.

As the Vice- President of the NRA
Republicans kowtow to every word I say,
And to Obamas frustration and dismay
A few straight shootin’ Democrats see it my way.

The Second Amendment we unthinkingly obey,
Say ‘gun control’ here and hear our roundelay,
No no no no no no way no no no no way Jose,
No, you won’t take the fun out of our gunplay.

Should Trump fire up and win the day
He’ll look south in his insightful inciteful way
To where Mexico awaits, a border away,
His aim’s building walls not bridges, compadre.

A few casualties amongst those unabashedly gay
Is a price Right-thinking strait-laced Christians will pay,
God knows, for their souls we fervently pray-
But good God, don’t try to take our guns away.

Crap Shoot.

COP LEAVES LOADED GUN
IN PARLIAMENTARY TOILET.

PC,WC.

He sat down, he shot the lock,
He laid aside his loaded Glock,
In short order the job was done
But he forgot to upload his gun.

Perhaps its coz he felt rushed
That he emerged hot and flushed,
But did his face burn even brighter
Upon finding he was one Glock lighter?

At the highest levels on the highest floors
The’re discussing it behind closed doors,
It’s highly probable the poor policeman
Will drop in rank, if not carry the can.

To see a good career go down the drain
Causes everyone undue pain and strain,
But leaving a gun behind in a latrine-
You can’t walk away squeaky clean.

Seek A Sucker.

Sales pitch for vacuum cleaning salesmen… pushy, pushy.

It started with a a thirty second phone call
and ended after a three hour hard sell for a
$4500 vacuum cleaner.
Dunedin mother of three Leonie Padgett said
the sales pitch was ‘the worst experience.’
But SICA (South Island Clean Air) stood by
its product and sales technique.
The salesman left after more than three hours
having not made a sale.

Seek A Sucker.

If a vacuum cleaner salesman should cold call
Tell him that he’s not welcome, no, not at all,
Don’t let that blowhard through the door,
Don’t let that dirt bag soil your floor.

If he leans on your door, make a stand
For if he gets in you’re in for four grand,
That’s a bit rich for this poor householder,
So give him nothing but the cold hard shoulder.