Wildest Dreams.

Waking up in a cold sweat late in the night. Yes, it is Halloween but there are limits, surely?

Wildest Dreams.

Up on to his gilded throne King Donald the First climbs,
Tossing his blue collared followers a few nickels and dimes,
Threatening the unRighteous that she’ll pay for her crimes,
And sending some off on vacation to more hospitable climes.

When I voted I didn’t think… I’d live in such excitng times.

He’s going (or gunning) to make America great once more,
With Donald negotiating, who needs the Diplomatic Corps?
He may be slow on the uptake but he’s quick on the draw.
I wonder what wonders Donald and Vladimir have in store?

Now don’t you wish you didn’t get what you wished for?


The Last Stronghold.

Days out from the election, this might come to pass?

The Last Stronghold.

With all the finesse of a bull in a china shop
Donald desperately reaches out as his ratings drop,
Out to the Black and Latino vote he’s vainly clutching,
Yet it’s his appeal to women that’s, sadly, almost touching.


The Lament Of The Lumberjack.

With all due respect to those who pine for more Joyce Kilmer. Unfortunately I find his masterpiece a tad earnest, it seems to somehow beg for lampooning. So if this causes any offence- meh.

The Lament Of The Lumberjack/Twee.

I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as yon tree.

I see Gods deft hand in its bark,
And Mans unkind livid vivid mark.

See that tree, so straight and tall?
Its quiet majesty leaves me in thrall.

Hear the roar of my chainsaw?
Oh, such beauty that I saw.


In A Tale Spin.

Fox News best buddies Megyn Kelly and Newt Gingrich united in the Republican cause- sort of.

In A Tale Spin.

Once again we tune in to Fox- and friends,
Tall tales and true, where the fun never ends,
There I saw Megyn and Newt trading wits,
It had me LOLing in the lounge chair, in fits.

Newt seemed to think that The Donald’s bus boasting
Didn’t deserve his TV stations medium-rare roasting,
Megyn had a fascination with sex, claimed Gingrich,
From a man of high repute- or Newt- that’s rich.

Perhaps in the locker room the ol’ boys bandy
Words around, and Don found Newt mighty handy
To be around, an experienced guy to provide
A little tip, a quick quip, a wee bit of an aside.

Oh, Newton Leroy, watch where you tread,
Keep a civil tongue in that large head,
Whoa there, you fine speaker you, have a care,;
Newt pontificating on sex is an odd affair.

Newts little ethics lapses drew a bit of flack,
But wasn’t that put to bed a few years back?
He’s an older and wiser remarried man now
And he’s agreed to abide by a fidelity vow.

‘Tis true Old Bill was both hound and sly silver fox,
But box clever Newt, don’t open that Pandora’s box…
Newt’s left more ears bleeding than than a Tyson bout,
Oh, isn’t it tragic when old friends fall out?


A wing and a prayer

Wilco Tango Foxtrot.

The Boeing 757 had an unexpected diversion in Townsville,
A pleasant enough place if you’ve some spare time to kill,
And though John’s smiling sunnily, he wants to get going,
But there’s no hurrying up that old banged-up Boeing.

Once rolling down the runway John looks around the 757
And then raises his eyes up high to He who art in Heaven,
Once he touches down his will, not His, sure will be done;
No more hair-raising hi-jinks for him on Air Farce One.

(NZ Prime Minister and his delegation flying to India in an old Air Force plane
stop overnight at Townsville when the plane breaks down… The sources are reliable, the 757 isn’t .)


Works in progress (Behind the scenes.)

Good After Bad.

To keep criminals off the street
Johns Government has put away
Over a billion bucks to build complete
New prisons for those who’ve gone astray.

The Lefty hand-wringers concede defeat,
The outlook, they say, is grim and grey,
But for the hard-liners it’s a sweet,
If overdue, glorious victorious day.

Visionary Constructors pore over every worksheet,,
Itching to start a punishing schedule without delay,
Only feeling secure when its all set in concrete.
Whoever says the crime doesn’t pay?

One billion plus dollars for new prisons. The Government will help the growing amount of homeless people by giving some a comfy home (about 8 x 6.) Temporarily.
The rooming house business is booming, at least in Keys eye. Two birds in one stone in this policy.
Plus he won’t lose any beneficiary’s vote, since inmates can’t vote. Could be another win-win for Serco and the Government, eh Prime Minister?