Monthly Archives: November 2016

Live Radio.

An ordinary day, and out of the blue comes an ironic occurrence.
Strange days.

Live Radio.

I drove off for work, on to the motorway
Gods summer sun had risen in its usual way,
But since Trumps win I wonder about His plan
And take normality whenever and wherever I can.

The idea of yet another early start
Didn’t exactly warm the cockles of my heart,
Driving morosely along in my air-conditioned cocoon,
To raise my spirits the radio spewed out a current tune.

After assaulting me with Swifts latest single
My ears were further assailed by a jaunty jingle,
All manner of services use Radio Lives advertising
But a lively pitch for a Crematorium is most surprising.

Tears sprung unbidden from my eyes,
It took an eternity for me to sorrily realise
I’d drifted unintentionally into the outer lane-
The boy racer and 16 wheeler’s eminent domain.

Placed in the perfect position to meet my maker
By an innovative advertisement by an undertaker;
A wide-eyed truck driver hit the brakes and the horn
As a barrage of blasphemy resounded through the morn.

Six inches from my eyes was a smoking tyre,
Luckily for me there would be smoke but no fire,
But I knew I’d very near been driven to the hereafter
Thanks to an incongruous ad and uncontrolled laughter.

Slowly, carefully I drove on shaking with relief,
Thinking that someones life might be all too brief,
Every fifteen minutes I hear that bloody jingle jangle
And reflect on a smart-ass Ad executive I’d like to strangle.


Shining Example

South African cricket captain Faf du Plessis was ‘dissapointed’
at the booing he received from the Adelaide crowd after making a superb 100 in the third test.
Du Plessis became an object of the crowds ire the week before when the ICC officially charged him with ball tampering for using a lolly to shine the ball in the previous Hobart test. Faf pleaded guilty to the charge.

Shining Example.

After the great century du Plessis made
What boorishness the Okker crowd displayed,
He was dismayed by the crowds unsporting booing
-It’s not as if Fafing about was all he had been doing.

Perhaps if Faf needed a hint
The crowd reminded him of a mint,
And that they thought he was a cheat,
And his hundred didn’t taste quite so sweet.

Next time, Faf, don’t be a drip,
Clench that jaw, close tight that lip,
Don’t suck on that digit, keep it clean,
Jeez, Faf, think where that fingers been?


Out Right.

A video surfaced showing excerpts from the speech given by Richard Spencer at a National Policy Institute event. NPI is a white nationalist think tank. Spencer finished with a ‘Hail victory, hail our people,’ which had arms a’twitching like something out of ‘Doctor Strangelove.’

Out Right.

You can’t fault the enthusiasm of Spencers alt Right,
Hailing the victory of Donald Dolt with all their might,
Can you think of another time in the history of the Klan
That they’d welcome, like a brother, a well-tanned man?


Earthquakes, Acts of God, or is God acting up?

A 7.8 earthquake, and out of the rubble comes a rabble-rousing self-styled Bishop blaming it on sinners, as a punishment for sins of the flesh. Oh well, free speech etc etc. Always good to know someone’s willing to reach out through the destruction and pick up the first stone…

The Messenger.

When our Terra Firma tips and lurches
We lapsed followers turn to the churches,
But in our time of tumult turmoil and need
Who asked that smooth pastor to intercede?

Truly, beware which church you shelter in;
It’s not in Bishop Brians Destiny to forgive sin,
He believes homosexuality causes earthquakes?
Physics-wise the Bishop’s proving no great shakes.

Pea brained.


Swamping The Drain.

If you thought voting for Clinton ‘n’ Kaine
Was more of the same old same again,
To a conservative mind it makes a kind of sense
To vote for those good ol’ boys Trump ‘n’ Pence.

This term promises to be like none seen before;
A democratically elected bona fide dinosaur;
With the White House lawn as its stomping ground
That Grabasauras won’t have to pussy-foot around.

If you want someone to drain a swamp would you choose
Someone who’s well acquainted with the primordial ooze?
Will his dinosaur diplomacy cause first affront… then Offence?
Let’s hope we’re (and Vladimir) are still here, four years hence.


What’s in the wind on Election day?

Polling day and one scenario… Time will tell… Oh, dear time has tolled.


Smug and victorious he strides to the podium
To a welcome of half acclamation, half odium.

Hillary looks on with a hollow empty feeling,
Her hopes punctured, but not her glass ceiling.

Down Megyns downcast cheek a tear softly patters
There’s a shriek and her crystal chandelier shatters.

Up in the aisles old white men are clapping and singing,
Down south eyes are swimming and hands are wringing.

It’s a victory thats rendered even Ryan dumb,
The Godless Liberals stand shocked and numb,
…Even the Evangelists wonder if the Great Days come?

Soon even old East /West wounds are healing
Since Don and Vlad find one another so appealing…
…Till they fall out over wheeling and double-dealing.

Now its not compliments but mud they’re slinging,
The insults and invective turn from mild to stinging.
…Dons so busy twittering he don’t hear the red phone ringing.

Michelles wailing about leaving the White House in tatters
But Barack’s gravely concerned about more pressing matters
…Like heading home- not Chicago, Hawaii- before the ash scatters.


As the election draws nigh…

Circling The Drain.

If Hill’s precarious lead hasn’t slipped
And the ex First Lady/Secretary wins,
Is she more a problem than a solution?

But if she winds up being pipped
And Trumps reign of error begins,
We’ll all be praying for Absolution.

Meanwhile in the darkness of his crypt
George Washington slowly dispiritedly spins;
Those two seem hardly worth a revolution.


Net Worth.

In his early rookie days
At the Oklahoma City Thunder
They grossly overworked and underpaid
Mrs Adams poor little lad Steven.

Now he’s had a hefty raise;
From a pittance to wholesale plunder;
A great deal our long-haired wonder made;
He’s happy with his lot- ecstatic even.

140 million bucks for four years at a place you like and are happy to be? Sweet deal, bro. Likes to play here, loves the pay here.


A true devotion.

The first voter fraud arrest came in Iowa; Terri Lynn Rote said she voted for Donald Trump twice because ‘The polls are rigged.’

Double The Trouble.

‘In the defence of Terri Lynn Rote;
She regrets that she has but one vote,
She knows that usually one would suffice
But Trump says its rigged, so she voted twice.’

How can that balance be restored
When His enemies stoop to voter fraud?
She heard his rallying call- loud and clear,
Terri don’t want any Hills Billy’s around here.

Don will accept a victory- only if he wins,
He’s doubling down on Hillary’s many sins,
Two little wrongs might just make it Right?
Terri SHOULD exorcise that Democratic blight!

‘In summation Judge, show a little grace,
I’m sure we’ve proven she’s a special case,
Voting twice for Trump isn’t a normal thing to do.’
Unless, of course, you find you have half a mind too.