Messy Christmas.

The time of year for Lords a’leaping. Time to spread a little joy and happiness to those of us who love the season with all our hearts. Carol singing, bells ringing,
Etc etc.

Messy Christmas.

At long last the Yuletide season has arrived,
Its been a bad business year but I’ve survived,
I unlocked my cabinet, poured a wee tipple-
What the Hell, might as well, I made it a triple.

Nowadays a tumbler of Tullamore Dew
(When I say one, I really mean two,)
Helps me to sit back, relax and unwind,
Put the pain of the past year from my mind.

I know its best to sup it nice and slow,
Savour that flavour, enjoy the warm glow,
But lately I find I crave the comfort it provides,
And now that first sip rarely touches the sides.

That drop of the Dew had me dropping off to sleep,
Then from above I heard someone stealthily creep,
A heavy boot scraping up on the second floor-
Every year those old boards creak a little more.

In an instant I was wide awake,
Some burglar was making a bad mistake,
In the cabinet my hand searched for and found
Something comfortably heavy and cold and round.

In a voice that shook with righteous indignation
I asked the interloper upstairs for an explanation;
‘Better make yourself known to me , friend
Or else our meeting’s coming to a nasty end.’

Up the stairs I crept, and I found my proof-
A burglars boot disappearing up on the roof,
So I did what any pissed homeowner would do-
I’d take it back in a minute if I were able to.

Lord knows I’m sorry to have been the cause
Of ruining Christmas for both kids and Santa Claus,
Santa could’ve kept on delivering to a ripe old age,
But he’s not, since he got in the way of my 12 gauge.


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