Lately it looks like Tiger Woods game is shot,
The ol’ back has given out on the swinging star,
Nowadays the bar is where he finds his sweet spot
But after sinking a few his driving’s not up to par.
A Florida trooper put a stop to his game,
Tiger pitched his story and hoped it would fly,
He claimed a cocktail of medication was to blame,
By the look in his eye that is a hopeless lie.
The Saudis succumbed to Donald’s charms
Once he reached out to ’em with his arms.
On to Israel with their message ringing in his ear-
That Jerusalem Embassy is no longer a capital idea.
There he stood quietly staring at the Western wall,
The cracks therein didn’t resonate with him- at all.
Approached the Pope, hoped he’d forgive every sin;
The Lords representative didn’t know where to begin.
The NATO photo shoot pictured him as grace personified
But somehow the friends he’d made didn’t see his best side.
Then home, and he’s over his travels if not his travails,
Hoping his son-in-laws luck in Russian roulette prevails.
I’m telling those EURO losers at NATO
They’d better cough up what they owe,
As I colorfully chastise them I smugly know
My mug is illuminated by the spotlights glow.
As a bright light- that’s Right- is how my peers perceive me;
Even the Pope beamed beatifically, waiting to receive me.
My Alpha dog nature did begin to show
As we leaders lined up for the group photo,
I won’t be blocked by some crock from Montenegro;
I told my peers ‘I’m in front,’ they showed me where to go,
To hear ‘Donald Trump’s up front’ pleases me, believe me.
Whoa there, did my old oh-so-sensitive ears deceive me?
Less Is Moore.
Roger Moore, the third James Bond
Has passed on, on to the great beyond,
Will they like his light touch up in Heaven?
It was heavy going watching him enacting 007.
Penance For Your Thoughts.
The good Francis readies himself to meet his Presidential guest,
Frankly, sometimes this high position to which he’s been blessed
Gives his Holiness’ powers of diplomacy and faith a severe test;
Not rolling his eyes Heavenwards took all the will he possessed.
Keeping a keen eye on the proceedings is Donald’s devoted daughter,
For what thirty-five years of observing dear old Dad has taught her
Is he has a highly spiritual side even if he’s really no pontiff supporter;
It’s whispered he gets his religious instructions from a lower quarter.
English As A Second Language.
Don strolled self-assuredly down the Tel Aviv runway,
He reached for Melania’s hand in a husbandly way,
With a stony look she batted it scornfully away,
Such an eloquent way of doing what she wishes to say.
1/ Wuthering Heights
Kathy crushes on Cliffs moody Manor.
2/ The Three Musketeers.
All for one free-for-all sword play.
3/ Fifty Shades Of Gray.
Modern bodice ripper. Boy beats girl.
Thanks to Tetiana and Tony at Unboltme for opening up the possibilities. Not my normal style but you gotta get outta the comfort zone.
Practicing The Craft.
On his first flight our President moans and bitches,
The witch hunt is on, which he sees as most unfair,
In these first 100 days he’s had his share of glitches
So it’s GREAT Fox will take his- not fake- word to air.
Then leave ’em polished, constantly spinning up there.
The news the Left wing media rolls out and pitches
Make his dream trip on Air Force One a nightmare,
Pressure is building on his mind and in his britches,
And Nut Jobs note is proving a pain in the derriere.
Will Don come clean, or rely on flameproof underwear?
In The Detail.
Roger Ailes has gone up to meet his Redeemer,
The hard-nosed old news hound is going home,
Saint Peter looked up at the abrasive old schemer
Then back down to check him in his weighty tome.
Rog watched the febrile fingers creep down the page;
A blessed eternity was what the saint was going to take,
Oh, Good Lord, you’re still using books in this digital age?
Couldn’t You update the Pearly Gatehouse, for Pete’s sake?
Rog grumbles as Saint Peter kept short sightedly looking,
Till Saint Peter found a note to which to Rog he gladly relayed,
‘The Management regrets that it has transferred your booking,
You poor soul, don’t you recall that Damned great deal you made?’
A Simple Innocent Conversation.
Donald seeks his leaks here, he seeks leaks there,
He’s determined to stuff that leak- like Obamacare,
Yesterday he was sadly saying to the Russian Ambassador,
‘Sergey, you’re the only one I can talk to about it anymore.’
Security Directive #13 To The President. (URGENT.)
Sir; Please remove head from butt;
Place foot in mouth to keep mouth shut.