Don’s taken his Medical and he has passed
Despite his penchant for eating his food fast,
He thinks he cuts a, if not fine, an imposing figure
Which he’s assiduosly working at making even bigger.
His trusted Doctor says Don is doing GreaT,
He’s given his grateful President a clean slate,
Don fairly flew through a test specifically designed
For a President possessing his particular state of mind.
All the Doc asks is for Don to take more exercise-
Forgo his nightly regime of stretching for french fries-
Normally Don wouldn’t pay heed to a White House minion
But one thing Donald doesn’t need is a damn second opinion.
No Doctors orders for Don when he takes to his bed,
He retains his healthy appetite for ordering in instead,
There’s nothing that makes another sub-par day complete
Than a tasty treat of fried chicken, followed by a greasy tweet.
Listen, patient reader to the tragic tale that shall unfold…
Into the Gard du Nord the Euro Disney Express rolled…
The Gard du Nord’s a favoured haunt of the light-fingered brigand,
Who was first to spot the three rubes fresh in from Disneyland?
What a delightful introduction to Paree we were swiftly shown,
One near new Samsung departing from my gal’s bag to parts unknown.
Until the bankcard was put on hold, and Police wearily then tearily told
Our day of hopping on the hop-on hop-off tourist buses also went on hold.
True, the view atop the open charabanc was breathtakingly grand
But my mood and the temperature proved f- far colder than that planned,
Swathed in a woolen greatcoat and still chilled to the very bone,
Was it any wonder the Eiffel Tower left me with a face of stone?
Its precisely because my good-natured gal retains her heart of gold
That caused the boiling blood entering THIS heart to emerge icy cold.
As I gaze up at Napoleon, frozen statuesquely, his pose I now understand,
Why, he presses to his heart his phone; (lest it’s whipped from his hand,)
So, I’ve a message for the Gaulish pickpocket who nicked my gal’s phone-
When you receive your call to Hell, may you get a hot spot of your very own.
On his old show Donald proved an amiable host
But as Prez he puts ‘Merica first and foremost,
Then he was a generous accomodating soul,
Now he’s looking an unfathomable $#)+hole.
What do you think he wants a wall for?
To keep out folk from Haiti and El Salvador;
No green card WILL get you a swift ‘hasta la vista;
So don’t dream of darkening Dons doorstep, Mister.
Don isn’t warming to leaders of a certain seething Continent
Who have coldly heard his quaintly colorful comment,
They may rightly swear he’s wrong till they turn blue
But they’ll never change Dons dim dated dark view.
Now he doesn’t wish to offer time nor space
To ones who don’t mirror his Master- ful face,
He’ll go out of his way to put barriers in your way
Unless you want to wander over from, say, Norway?
For all those worried if Donald’s not fit for work, do not be concerned,
The resident genius has been checked out, nothings been discerned,
The McDon is good to go, in brain, heart and other vital body parts,
Its a bona fide medical miracle, with his cholesterol off the charts.
A few do accuse our great President of no work and all play
Yet for Donald signing off on the fifteenth has been no holiday,
It’s grim indeed to see him publicly straining to stick to the script;
Words that, self evidently, privately would leave Trump tight lipped.
On a cold December Disney day best suited for galoshes
My wife and daughters smiled as I surveyed my trendy trainers,
This dude-of-a-dad don’t care for flat caps and Macintoshes,
For me, style over comfort is the simplest of no-brainers.
True, the pavement looked a trifle wet,
But I was lookin’good, feelin’ fine,
I stepped out, did a passable pirouette,
When you’re in style, who needs sunshine?
And so our delightful Disney day began,
How we cavorted, singin’ in the rain.
I swanned around exuding panache and elan,
Nike clad feet completely numb, so I couldn’t complain.
By nightfall I was lagging behind, dragging my feet,
Ready to walk away but la femmes dug their toes in,
They wanted the lights and fireworks, then, to make the night complete
They frolicked home endlessly singin’ the chorus to frikken ‘Frozen.’