Monthly Archives: December 2018

A happy new year to one and all. But it’s no holiday to have to work over the holidays, according to some.

Shut Down Till New Year.

Don sits in the dark White House alone and reminisces
Far from his Mar-a-Lago home and his loving missus,
Thinking of what good deeds he’s accomplished in ’18,
Then, of what a wondrous year it could have been.

He turned up the rhetoric at all his rallies
And turned his back on all of our allies.

Those wise-as advisers who came in, so highly vaunted
Left, at his disposal, eyes wide, downcast or haunted,
He’s disgusted his once trusted Lawyer keeps sayin’ he’s lying,
And just why must my learned counsel Mueller keep prying?

I’m all in favour of free speech
But I don’t care to hear ‘impeach.’

Back in ’16 I made a solemn promise I have yet to fulfill,
To build my wall and hand Mexico the six-billion-dollar bill,
It grieves me greatly, friends and neighbours, if I may say so,
To get El Presidente’s middle finger but not one single peso.

Hopefully, soon, good government will resume
Even allowing for the elephant in the room.

©Obbverse

A summer ‘Stralian wedding and honeymoon. The southern sun is warmly shining, the water is cool and inviting, what could go wrong?

Love Bites.

We two lovebirds visited the Lonely Planet site,
Found a beachouse out in the Great Australian Bight,
For this couple wished to spend our wedding night
Tucked away from the prying media spotlight.
And nosy kith and kin.

We woke to a sea a’ twinkling in the morning light;
It felt as if Mother Nature had handed us an invite,
And with ‘nary a cloud or single soul in sight
To not swim au naturale  seemed impolite.
If not a naked sin.

Especially when two are hot enough to ignite,
When temptations and temperatures top 100 Fahrenheit,
When hot naked passions- and swim suits- take flight
The sea offers a change, if not a cool respite.
And soothes chafed inflamed skin.

Skinny dipping is sheer unbridled delight,
The seas ebb and flow is sure to primordially excite,
But thrashing bare bodies are bound to whet the appetite
Of Thrashers, Makos, Tigers, that bloody Great White…
So, better out than in.

 

©Obbverse

The New Year is almost here. Another year older, looking over the shoulder. A cheery little post as we reach another milestone? Well, if you can’t laugh.. All joking aside, Happy New Year!

Annual Revue/School Time.

Now we’re done with the Yo- ho- hoing
It’s time to ask where the Hell the year is going?
And why have my later years flown by instead of slowing?

I recall, as a schoolboy, way back when
Listening to the dronings of dry dusty men-
Entire periods of time stood still, back then.

Now, I don’t like the way days zip by so fast,
Light years faster than they did in my dim dark past,
Considering how interminable one school term could last.

 

©Obbverse

Premier League, football, Christmas gifts, and a prayer for whats important at this time. From a Crystal Palace fan’s perspective, at least.

Christmas Hangover.

What an inspiring result at Man City the Palace fans saw,
But we’re back to reality after Cardiff’s nil-all draw,
Some say the Welsh were plucky,
Some say Palace were unlucky,
Cardiff came with a rear-guard ponderous, leaky and porous,
Hell, those Bluebirds would- should- be easy pickings for us.

But the Palace sharp-shooters hit both the bar and the post,
(They do tend to clobber the woodwork more than most,)
Gawdamighty, they hit the bar, they miss the ricochet,
No, we wouldn’t be celebrating Christs birthday;
Surely after the Man City Miracle, Lord it would please us
If someone nailed in a couple of crosses. (Apologies to Jesus.)

 

©Obbverse

Donald, his White House Christmas and me. Merry Christmas Mr President!

Screaming Memememe.

I’m sat at the White House, all alone,
Oh, poor pitiful me,
Just me, at Christmas, I with my phone,
Oh, poor lonesome me.

Being Prez ain’t all tinsel and glitter
Even for wonderful me,
All I have is my GreaT thoughts and Twitter
To accompany me…

Yes, I’m missing out on Melania’s home-cooked meal
Which disagrees with me,
But fortuitously, I’ve worked out a hell of a deal
‘Tween McDonalds and me.

This Christmas I’ve no Kelly, no Mattis
To stifle magnificent me
On troops, policy and other trifling matters,
Oh, impulsive impetuous me.

Here I’m free from their ever-ongoing discussion
That soooooo bores me,
They might as well talk turkey in Chinese- or Russian,
It’s all Greek to me.

Here I’m free of constraints from one and all,
Free to think of only me,
As governments shut down, and my stocks fall
I sit here and ponder at the wonder about me.

 

©Obbverse

Who could sleep last night what with the excitement of Santa Claus’ impending arrival? Looking up to the sooty sky I could scarcely imagine the stress on that ol’ coot in the red suit… Anyway , something sparked the imagination.

Merrily On High.

Down the chimney Santa Claus went
But he’s a touch laden down at present,
For Santa may wish to discharge his duty
But Santa Claus is carrying too large a booty.

The dazed and confused residents below
Heard his ‘Yo ho ho’ become an ‘uh-oh.’

Santa was stuck fast ‘neath the chimney pot-
Speaking of which, pot is legal now, is it not?
They puffed and strained to smoke the stout fellow out
But a man of Santa’s weight can but wait and mellow out.

 

©Obbverse

Season of discontent to reason for joy? A jolly good pre-Christmas for the Palace faithful.

Christmas Gift, Gladly Taken.

Santa’s gifts are real, I do believe;
‘Tis come on the eve of Christmas eve,
If you’re a Palace fan in Man City Land
Praying some bearded guy up there’d lend a hand.

Far away from the delights of Selhurst Park
Prospects for an Eagles win are usually dark,
But to hope for a win at City, ones odds are slim;
‘Twould be a monumental miracle, even for Him.

‘It’s a gift 3 points,’ thought those fans clad in blue
But they’ve left the Etihad with heavy hearts at 3-2,
Palace scoring 3 away comes only once in a blue moon,
Santa’s present has come early, on a Saturday afternoon.

 

©Obbverse

Mad Dog Mattis leaves the madness behind. What could the first draft of his resignation letter have looked like?

Dear Don,

I hope you can dispense
With your Secretary of Defence.
Sir, could not your thick wall be a fence?
A wall built on a base foundation, at great expense
Looks dense.

Sir, I must say, with all due deference
Your flipping policies make no fu- flipping sense,
So after forty years of service serving six presidents
Preserving my reputation- and sanity- takes preference.
No offence.

 

©Obbverse

A new year approaches, new job opportunities arise, and if things don’t work out, well, a spell on the dole might be good for this over-worked soul.

Dear Folks.

Dear folks, sorry I haven’t written lately-
Work has curtailed my writing time greatly,
My old ass of a supervisor has left in disgrace,
Unfortunately an even bigger one’s taken her place.

Nowadays my time is not my own,
Unanswered messages fill my iPhone,
I’m losing sleep, sangfroid and my friends
Now I’m working every Goddamn hour He sends.

I’m up at the crack of dawn,
My first act is a jaw-cracking yawn,
Second, I reach to switch of the phones alarm
Then for the Lorazepam to restore my morning calm.

Breakfast consists of a hash brown
With a jumbo Starbucks to wash it down,
Will this sustain me till my working day is done?
Por favor, barista, pour me another one, on the run.

I’m an hour at my work station, sweating away
When my supervisor begins his hard working day,
I don’t wish to infer that he’s an obese lazy swine
But when he finds his work hard, suddenly its mine.

By lunch that second coffee’s proved a big mistake,
The boss begrudgingly acquiesces to gimmie a break,
My flying feet slowed, faltered then crawled to a stall-
Two jumbo cups a morning’s a dribble too much after all.

Soon my eight hour day had come and gone,
I was feeling peeved, pissed-off and put-upon,
From not letting me spend a penny, on his dime
The tight-ass wants me here spending my free time.

I asked about paying time and a half?
How long and hearty that man can laugh,
Then when I suggested time and a quarter
His snort came quick, his bray even shorter.

So my work-a-day writings, I will admit
Have been joyless contributions to submit,
But now my scribblings are bound to get better-
How free and inspiring is writing a resignation letter?

 

©Obbverse

Weight and job loss plan, Part Two. Stepping up or stepping out, job prospect wise?

Fit By Christmas.

From late December on Santa has time to kill,
To kick back, crack open some cold ones, sit and chill,
To chomp Chitos, uncinch his belt, let his guts spill.

So Santa presented himself with a treadmill-
For a man who won’t be seen to be over the hill
He’s making hard work of staying precisely still.

Santa stepped up to his work with a will,
A smile wreathing his jolly old face until…
Santa’s replacement has big boots to fill.

 

©Obbverse