What’s happening to the Lucky Country? Bushfires, shark attacks, oil and water drying up- and now this. Holden bites the dust. Crikey!

With A Whimper.

It all started up down at Fishermens Bend
We had a Genuine partnership, my Special friend,
Aw jeez, now yer dumping me, it’s journeys end?
Just like a busted wheel my heart cain’t mend.

Don’t ya remember when days were golden,
Back then when we were flush, the money rolled in?
We ran the hottest flamin’ dealership for Holden,
Now its been a cold day since a punter strolled in.

It was just a day after Valentine’s Day
I read my ‘Dear John’ letter with dismay,
My true love was packin’ up, goin’ away?
What a grievously monstrous thing to say.

My fingers slackened, as did my jaw,
The letter fluttered to the workshop floor,
Fair dinkum, my darlin’s duckin’ out the door?
I reached for some comfort, bottom drawer.

I took a drink, drank deep and long-
When the spirit’s weak, make it strong,
I wondered maudlinly ‘what went wrong?’
Then stumbled out to dribble by the billabong.

Nah, no more will the limping  roaring lion roam,
Flashing down the streets with teeth of chrome,
General Motors lit up them tyres, they’re flying home,
No last slow dignified ride back in the black Brougham.

Cobber, mate, I’m not watcha call a sensitive dude,
My oath, I’ve been called rude and f- far worse, crude,
But this  I can say with a high degree of verisimilitude
Unlike his bottle this guy’s gettin’ well and truly screwed.

 

Ps: For what its worth, minor inspiration  ‘Heart Like A Wheel’ Kate and Anna McGarigle and ‘The Newcastle Song’ Bob Hudson.

 

©Obbverse

4 thoughts on “What’s happening to the Lucky Country? Bushfires, shark attacks, oil and water drying up- and now this. Holden bites the dust. Crikey!

  1. Doug Jacquier

    I’d call this a Valiant attempt were it not for the P76 and the Morris dancers in the background and the Ford oeuvres, as well as the appropriation by Holden of the Chevrolet song “we love baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet”. I guess that’s just the way the Mercedes Benz in a land devoted to fawnication.

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  2. obbverse Post author

    Very well put. I agree. In the past the Ozzie brick road has been littered- Rover, anyone?- with automotive eccentricities; Ozsin Kimberly, Chrysler Roil, Ford Xtra Agony Coop. Whoa, back up, back to Holden- Sun Turd, powered by that Helldire four? Shove in that Ford/Holden ‘my big Brocks better than your Dick Johnson’ addle-headed macho Fosters fueled lets-take-it-out-to the car-park unreasoned debate. I never got it, never will. It’s just a car!
    I never knew (heard) about the ‘hot dogs to meat pies’ appropriation though. Someone at Saatchi’s had an easy day earning a bonus in the paycheck that month. And wordplay wise- fawnication- beautiful.

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  3. Brian Lageose

    I knew I was in trouble with this piece, starting with the title, as I had no idea that Australia was known as “The Lucky Country”. And then you veered into automobiles, of which I know very little other than where to put the petrol, and I was officially in over my head. Perhaps the best thing for me at this point is to quietly slip away and pretend that this comment didn’t actually happen…

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  4. obbverse Post author

    No worries, Brian-o. There’s a sub ‘culture’ of what we call ‘ bogans’ over here down under, which is yer basic motorhead as I think they call ’em over your way.These fans tattoo ‘Ford’ or ‘Holden’ on hairy chests, flabby biceps, rolling buttocks, thick necks, grubby fingers etc to show their loyalty to their chosen brand. And that’s just the womenfolk. So, anyway, this is the equivalent of Chevrolet closing up shop in the USA. (Maybe ‘Good Deal’ Don might ship Chevy off to Mexico? Just a thought.)

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