Nosy Old Busybody.
They all say I’m crabby cantankerous and crotchety
But the elected head of my Neighborhood Watch is me,
I stick my nose out into our suspiciously silent leafy lane-
Usually it’s so loud and lively here I can’t hear myself complain.
Time to patrol my neighborhood,
Sniff out some villains up to no good.
Jim’s not sittin’ on his porch, flipping a finger as I pass,
Mrs Smith’s Shih Tzu isn’t out yapping all over the grass,
I see no congested traffic choking up our busy little road,
Only the twitch of a curtain as I pass each shuttered abode.
No-one’s out to share the love,
Fear and distrust go hand in glove.
I don’t hear the local kindergartens constant babble,
Surely I don’t miss wading through that rowdy rabble?
All those abject lessons in ‘doesn’t play well with others?’
All those SUV Minivan driving double-parking mothers?’
Children are neither heard nor seen,
The block’s quieter than it’s ever been.
There’s no cars idling outside the corner store,
Even Sanjay’s shut up shop and slammed his door,
I see no hoodie-clad ‘tweeners exchanging tinny treats,
Nope, no neighborhood gangs doing deals on my streets!
I can go home knowing they’re all stuck inside-
It just takes a pandemic to make my job a joyride.