How to not go shooting in the woods. Prompted by the Chelsea Owens Hilarity contest. Oh, and sponsored by Smokey the Bear.

Dumber Jack.

Jack the Lad could barely wait to turn twenty-one,
To cast his vote, to drive, drink, (legal-like) and tote a gun,
To pick the biggest baddest gun you’ve ever seen,
To play the part, just like in that Soldier Of Fortune magazine.

Off out to the woods he went to bag him a bear,
Or a boar, a deer, doe or buck- a duck, Jack didn’t care,
Through thicket underbrush and bosk Jack barged,
In his blundering search only his smart phone wound up discharged.

As the warm autumnal sun began to wane
Our hunter looked for any game, in vain,
In his ceaseless aim he couldn’t, wouldn’t stop;
Still as graceless as a bull in a china shop.

There wasn’t a critter to be found for miles around
As he trampled his way through his unhappy hunting ground-
Finding fording a stream is done at a huntsman’s peril-
A cruel cool baptism resulting in blown-out knee and twisted barrel.

So, cold, wet, lost in the woods as it grows dark,
Sat nav and phone flat, ah, but Jack’s quite the bright spark,
His safety match strikes, the dry leaves catch fire!
Remains to be seen, if anyone ever finds Jacks funeral pyre.

6 thoughts on “How to not go shooting in the woods. Prompted by the Chelsea Owens Hilarity contest. Oh, and sponsored by Smokey the Bear.

  1. Brian Lageose

    I sense that I have missed out on a very important story of some kind. It wouldn’t be the first time, nor will it be the last. Unless this is just a general parable and I should untwist my ignorant knickers. Please enlighten me, Wizard of Obb.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. obbverse Post author

      A mere frippery for a prompt. I could pretend it is an excoriation of youth, gun control, bad decisions etc but naah. It makes a nice change to just go write for a bit of fun. This scribe’s less Wizard than Scarecrow however.
      On another note, RE The Wizard; I read a book awhile ago that uses the film/book as a framework- Was, Geoff Ryman- that has some real highlights and heartbreaks in it. Well worth a read. One scene with the young Dorothy tears you up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Brian Lageose

        The Ryman novel sounds intriguing. I’ve added it to my Kindle wish list until the price comes down. Apparently his works are quite popular. Unlike my books, which sell for a buck a piece. And so it goes… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: WINNER of the Weekly Hilarity Contest 5/22/2020 | Chelsea Ann Owens

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s