Ruminations 'Pon Watching Monsieur R. Polanski's Moving Picture Based Upon Thomas Hardy's Heartbreaking Rendering Of The Lamentable Treatment Of The Much Put Upon 'Tess Of The d'Urbavilles.' Caution Miss, if the rich young Master approaches Offering up gilt plated hairpins or silv'ry broaches, Don't shake his hand, shake firm your pretty head- 'Oh no sir, no engagement 'til our banns are read.' Yon Master is a man who'd rather do wrong than right, You want your wedding day, he wants his wedding night, Pearl earrings, gold necklaces, baubles of every kind, But handing a wedding band... somehow slips his mind. Master may well say he will give you everything- Give him not a thing till he promises a gold ring, Tess, 'tis not for your sweet heart his hand reaches, Push his hot hand away and hold on to your breeches. (Yes, it's a light-hearted take on a grossly tragic tale. But tragedy, humour, two sides of the same face?)
'Tess, it's gonna end in tears.'