‘How To Maximise Profits In A Sick Business Environment.’ Straight outta the Company handbook.

And Jolly Good Company...

Imagine If I could stand and face you instead of using Zoom?
Imagine if we could all be close together in the one room?
Ever since the sad business of the emergence of Covid-19
We've had no choice but do the business via video screen.

As I gaze proudly around our fabulous but far-flung team
I'd like to thank you all for turning my nightmare into a dream,
So, though we're physically far apart my profits have far improved
Gettin' the loyal gang back together leaves me virtually unmoved. 

I see I don't need your asses sitting around my expensive real estate
So you're all FIRED!- unless you accept my Home Contractors rate-
Surely immediate redundant executive positions had to be expected
For no one is ever safe- present big Head of the Company excepted.


9 thoughts on “‘How To Maximise Profits In A Sick Business Environment.’ Straight outta the Company handbook.

  1. It will be a different world when / if the pandemic clears up. I was seeing on news a few days back they are expecting most large offices to have fewer desks in same space, little arrows on floor to encourage people to walk in same direction to minimize virus transmission, and probably a hybrid work schedule where people will work some days at home, some at office. I can’t see a lot of companies continuing to pay a lot of rent on big office spaces if they find that their staff can do the work well at home. My wife has been working at home for over a year now, working customer service and complaints for a large company… they have about five or six people in office out of over 200 staff at that location . We’re grateful since her health isn’t the best so it’s kept her safe, and we’ve probably saved $300-500 just on gas that we haven’t burned to get her to and from the office. But she misses some of her co-workers, understandably, and finds it a bit depressing working in the same room we then spend the evening together in watching TV or whatever. Will be interesting to see what it will be like all over the world by 2022.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, theres a good side to to not going to work. I know this post takes a cynical view of the workplace but like it or not, the world is adapting. I think though, if there’s a buck to be turned good ol’ private enterprise will find a way to turn a buck. Still, we must all adapt. Hope your wife is well. My wife suffers a chronic condition so we take it careful even here in our bubble. She works in Aged Care so she can’t do her work from home.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Likewise, hope you and her continue to stay well! You’re lucky I guess where you are, NZ seem to have controlled the virus far better than almost any other “Western” nation.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. My wife’s daughters have worked from home for over a year now, with no signs of them going back to an office building. One is an architect designer and the other a lawyer with Chase Bank. Two different fields that a year ago would have required them in an office working with a team. Working from home does have its downsides though; no social contact, boredom, and kicking it into gear while still in your jammies. I’ve been working from home for a long time and suffer the same ailments. Wait….I forgot I’m retired.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, it’s all change. My daughter in Scotland has basically been locked down for the worst part of a year, in three rooms. She has done her work, counselling kids, via Zoom, but it’s not the same. Her husband has been working from home for a year too. There is that cabin fever/ boredom factor too. So they bought a cat… Boy, is that now one coddled cat!
    Here, since we only had a hard lock-down for about six weeks so here the ‘go back to work and the office’ is more the norm than it is elsewhere. Retirement? Ah, the dream…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Back up in Ontario, they’ve just entered another “lockdown” with non-essential stores closed, no eat-in dining, even on outside patios and so on. Some are mad as wet hens about it but it seems sensible when vaccines are still scarce there and the new variants are causing more problems. Wish Texas would be somewhat more cautious about it still.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ah yes the Texas approach. Well, Governor Abbott, the sweeping ‘Open Sesame’ welcomes in more than paying customers into the place of business. But I guess he knows that, since it seems he knows such a lot about what’s good for his state.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. First, Governor Abbott is a worthless piece of partisan, ass-kissing sycophancy. (And the ass he continues to kiss is essentially his own, since The Orange One couldn’t give less of a damn about Abbott’s existence.) I’m sure my thoughts on the matter do not surprise you.

    Second, and more in line with your post: The truth is that MANY jobs could have been done from home, long before this pandemic mess. But there’s a dilemma here. Some folks are perfectly adept at getting the job done, left to their own devices. But there’s an equal contingent of folks that REQUIRE a structured, supervised environment in order to be productive. (I managed both factions for decades.) So the real challenge for corporations and even moderate businesses is to figure out an achievable balance. What is the cost-effectiveness tipping point between funding expensive office spaces for live interaction and supervision of potential slackers versus simply hiring the right self-managed folks who can generate profit from their living rooms?

    Personally, I anticipate that some jobs may never again involve a commute, whilst most jobs will become a fluid mix between the two extremes. (Of course, for this exercise, I’m leaving out the occupations wherein physical interaction with customers and clients is the nature of the beast, and there are quite a few of those, especially in the service industry.) Still, the pandemic has permanently upended the traditional concepts of doing business, with many corporations realizing potential cost-savings with the rethinking of business as usual.

    Sorry I didn’t have anything giggly to share. Just my thoughts…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nah, humour doesn’t have to permeate everything. (Though with me humour, sarcasm, you say potato, I say potato,)
      I agree, with the individual, it’s like being at school; Some behave and get on with it, some embrace the slacker ethos as soon as the teachers ass is out the door. It comes down to who will get the job done. Truth is, this pandemic HAS torn up the rule book. I will, though, in my socialist minded way, say that the ones with the money won’t miss out!
      And, why pray tell, has the finely minded Governor Abbott done to upset you? The man’s a prick- a prince amongst men, surely?

      Liked by 2 people

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