Childish Christmas treats don’t age very well.

Re-reviewing Tim Allens 'The Santa Claus' On the 24th (after a few too many 'egg-nogs.')

When the fabled if slipshod Santa Claus
Pitches off Tim Allen's gabled roof
'Accidental death' must be the obvious cause,
But with no body, where lies the proof?

No remains of Santa, only an etherial presence;
To Tim the quintessential question arose?
'Who'll deliver this shit sled load of presents
Now Santa Claus has turned up his toes?'

There's tonnes of gifts stacked up in that sled
All requiring delivery by- Christ's birthday?!?!
That ain't happening now Santa's stone dead;
So on who does Santa's responsibilities weigh?

Poor Tim must fill Santa's shoes and follow suit,
Legally obligated to change clothes and career,
Duty bound to stand in and deliver for the ol' coot,
Be the ass stuck behind eight free-running reindeer.

'Bloody fly-by-night contractors.'

(Just time to sneak in a Christmas post before the new year.)

4 thoughts on “Childish Christmas treats don’t age very well.

  1. Hmm, I was thinking I hadn’t seen that movie but the description reminds me I did once. Not itching to make that two times. Happy New Year , bud! I expect 2022 is already found you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, I’d seen it when the kids were little but it wasn’t memorable, more a ‘Tool Time’ add-on. The CGI is truly painful to watch. And this year has all the promise of a better one than the last two. Let’s sincerely hope so.


  2. I am happy to report I never watched an episode of “No Home Improvement” on purpose. The only infractions occurred whilst I was trapped in the home of a conservative relative (and they are legion in my family) and I failed to escape the living room in an expedient manner and I was therefore subjugated to said relatives worshipping the unfunny antics of a devout Republican…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He was insanely- I use that word as it should be- popular in the 90s. Time has moved on since then- well, outside places like Braindead, Tennessee, Inn Bread, Alabama and Ask Rack, Arkansas. And some stubborn red stains in far too many rural backwaters. Tim is sadly stuck in that time. Hey, c’mon Brian, sing along; ‘This land is your land…’

      Liked by 1 person

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