Halloween; some little horrors you don’t get over easy.

Sweet And Sour Halloween.

We have a 'Welcome All' sign adorning our door
But that 'Howdy' loses its sheen come Halloween,
Kids come a'rappin' just to come runnin' back for more-
Guess handfuls of M&M's beats the rush of Benzedrine.

Each hungry soul, double dipping and double dealing,
All filled with a deep primeval heartfelt burning need,
All too soon my treat bag held that empty feeling,
Yet they continue to have an all-consuming greed.

They're here knockin' again and they ain't gonna leave,
Kids of today, like I did in in my sweet toothed youth
Believe it's OK to give but far more fulfilling to receive-
Been my Gospel truth since I received my first Baby Ruth.

So I emptied out my covert Covid candy secret stash,
Aghast, I watched as my basket emptied, and toot suite,
Seeing my empty look made teeny tiny milk teeth gnash-
Soon I'd discover the cruel childish side of Trick or Treat.

Those bloodthirsty nippers were still not content,
They wanted more, more, more, but I'd been bled dry,
Behind smiley masks teeth shone, bright, malevolent
They demanded my S'mores, with dark avaricious eye.

I could do no more than raise up my empty hands
Appeal to the better nature of the little bu- beggars,
But within this lot of buccaneers, pirates and brigands
Lies a deep pocket of nasty stinking rotten little eggers. 

Here I was, on Halloween, left bereft, with no more to give,
Talks were going downhill quick, and about to get trickier-
I made a fateful decision- one at night I lie awake and relive-
Closing the door on their demands made my situation stickier.

Now there's no 'Welcome' sign adorning our darkened door,
Nowadays I can no longer entertain Halloween at our place,
Wise-cracking munchkins don't tap-tap on our door anymore,
Slammin' my screen door left me wide open to egg on my face.

   'Kids ain't all sweetness and light when they rock up on Halloween night.'

(Theme song for this could be 'Cracking Up' by Nick Lowe.)



12 thoughts on “Halloween; some little horrors you don’t get over easy.

  1. I agree that the avaricious little punks should just steer clear of Bonnywood, which is why I generally slam the ancient portal and blow out the dusty candles promptly at 8p on Halloween, as the surly ones often roam about later in the evening. But prior to 8p? I go all out, cramming Ziploc bags full of mini treats so that each teeny tyke gets a whole packet. The young ones are still full of wonder and hope, and I want to keep that alive as long as possible…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, youthful innocence; how soon it turns into avaricious viciousness. No, I jest, I’m happy enough to dole out calorific treats- only one or two at most have not been happy with what they get. One complained about peppermints, so I changed it for aniseed.
      Could be worse, I coulda handed ’em over a gross of liquorice- that would have em’ really running around in a rush. See, I can’t help myself I just have to play the a cynic!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. In a mostly-unrelated aside, your mention of aniseed reminds me of the anise cookies that my Granny used to make in years gone by. She was a master in the kitchen, able to concoct sumptuous things out of simple ingredients, and her anise cookies were beloved by one and… wait, I think it was only me. Yet bake them constantly she did. Thank you for that trigger, my friend, as the warmth of once was is making me smile in the middle of the night…

        Liked by 1 person

    1. A question or two. Does your house on the hill have a moat? A drawbridge? A foot thick oaken door? Us in our quiet unfenced bungalow have no chance of fighting off the rampaging rapacious little bas- bludgers.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Trunk or Treating has grown more popular in our neighborhood. On Saturday before Halloween, the Catholic school had cars lining the parking lot competing for best decorated trunks while the kids trick or treated from vehicle to vehicle. The public school did the same the next day.

        Liked by 1 person

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