(Part Five of the 'Tripping Up In Scotland Tales.') Taking A Load Off. We'd spent a fine fortnight up here in bonny Scotland, Long days wanderin' new highways and olden byways, Then, when footsore and selfie stick felt heavy in hand We'd stop at one of a plethora of quaint old skool cafes. Testing the legend of the warm genial Scottish host- Truly, we had had to rate Scots hospitality A+ so far- Aye, we were happy to prove theirs had been no idle boast- Oh, but, after that day, at the sad cafe- sorry, but no cigar. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Up, up and on toward Edinburgh Castle we gamely strode Following ancient footsteps up the hallowed Royal Mile, At the crest we had a rest, turned, took the downhill road, Seeking succour, a tearoom, a host with a welcoming smile. So, into the handy Do Drop Inn we duly tottered wearily in, The hostess glared up from weighing up her overfull till, A look at her displayed fare showed our pickings were thin, This quick stop in for hearty repast was fast going downhill. We bypassed the iffy egg sandwich with its turned up crust, Didn't try the pre-war tea pot with the tannin-stained spout, Bought a can of Coke and pre-wrapped teacake rather than trust The green cream covered pikelets that may well have laid us out. We paid our surly hostess, parked it in a cold hard dark booth, Looked to our hostess for either a napkin or a smile, in vain, So, to my flint-faced skin-flint hostess I offer this hard truth- Should we return, och aye, we'll nae come near 'ere again.

'What? No tip???' (Song for this post is 'Hungry Heart' by Bruce Springsteen.
©Obbverse.
Scottish hospitality is brilliant – as long as you don’t ask for ice in your scotch 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Up there, outside of three weeks in July, it comes off the shelf chill enough anyways?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My friend asked for ice in his whisky. The barman just looked at him for a minute and said ‘Ice? Do you not know what it did to the Titanic?’
LikeLiked by 2 people
Apparently “bonny” Scotland isn’t as “bonny” as they say…..
Next time go to my ancestral Ireland, where you’re sure to enjoy your stay!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll be sure to go there next time, to be sure, to be sure…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely wordplay, as always. But I must make a confession: Your closing “No Tip?” image looks remarkable like me after a weekend bender in my younger years… 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is an image to conjure with! Breakfast at Dennys, consisting staring at a plate of waffles, fighting back the acid reflux, trembling hand clinging to a Camel or a Kool, and ‘waitress- keep the java freely flowing.’ Ah, don’t ya just miss those bad ol’ hungover days?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I carried my own food and water to El Salvador. When I ran out I started ordering bottles of Coca Cola (although they were actually bottled in Central America)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I understand the worry about the local water. At least El Salvadorian Coke, with its additions, flavourings and chemical ‘enhancements’ should help keep the stomach in a state of gentle fizzing agitation, and induce a genteel belching rather than opening the floodgates, so to speak.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, I returned with no ill effects.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perhaps they have a chilly reception from living in a chilly location?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cold hard cash is the main course, each and every day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know what a “green cream covered pikelet” is — and I don’t want to know!!!!! Yipes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a mini-pancake, they serve ’em up cold, with a dollop of fresh cream- not the crusty green stuff that was hardening in the fly-blown cabinet- uggh!
LikeLiked by 1 person
:::heaving::: So glad you made it out alive!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was not Scottish hospitality at its best. Try one bite and its off to the hospital, more like!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see what you did there. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person