Do not fly if you have your head up- your head is in the clouds.

Flight Risk. 

(Based on recent scary events.)

She turned up early at Houston Airport,
Not close to late, yet looking overwrought,
However, the casual check-in staff at Southwest
Did not believe she to be a woman possessed.

With ticket to Columbus held in sweaty hand
She looked to the Heavens for her 737 to land,
She held no bags to check in, no carry-on of any kind,
Yet some baggage was weighing heavy on her mind.

She trepidatiously sat upon her seat in the plane,
Another twitchy troubled passenger, this all too plain,
One or two closely confined fellow travellers drew away
When she began to pray as they sped down the runway.

For all on board it was a most distressing time,
Her high-pitched whine accompanying the climb,
After an eternity the creaking Boeing reached cruising altitude-
Now we all had quite enough of her 'Saved by Jesus' gratitude.

But now- good Heavens- He's telling her what to do!
She'd abide by good God's word but not heed the crew! 
She tried opening the exit door, at nigh on 37,000 feet! 
At which point I felt compelled to evacuate my seat.

The flight crew soon had the situation contained,
God knows she was bound to be tightly restrained,
But I'd still spend the rest of my flight sat white-knuckled
In the sole seat on the plane one can sit upon unbuckled.

'But Jesus told me to do it,' she declared on her arrest,
Now she's banned, in perpetuity, from flying Southwest,
Still, next time I'm liable to fly the Houston/Columbus route
I'm packing me a bible, clean underwear and a parachute.

                    'Southwest Airlines will get you there on a wing and a prayer.'


(Song for this one was always destined to be 'Airline To Heaven' by Billy Bragg and Wilco.) 

©Obbverse.

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