Category Archives: Australian politics

Alan Jones and his multitude of hang-ups are going off the airwaves. Aussies, enjoy the quietude.

Press Zero.

A word on Alan, he’s due his first and last post,
It’s a kind of a eulogy to a long-winded talk-back host,
It’s finally time to hang up, Alan Jones,
The man who had the last word on a million phones.

He’s a hard man, holding riotous views on race,
Not scared of shovin’ women back in their place.

So wave goodbye, Mister Always Right,
The kind of bloke who just keeps holdin’ on to every slight,
Say bye-bye, biggest mouth in the ol’ Dominion,
Cheerio, best Aussie broadcaster… in his humble opinion.

Ain’t nothing more the old football coach enjoys
Than a boozy chin-wag with those good ol’ boys.

An Aussie prattler the Left rightly loathed and feared
But with an ego needing to be loved and revered,
A mean-minded misogynist whatever way he tried to spin it,
Finally, the mouthy shock jock’s put a sock in it.

 

©Obbverse

A plea (in the ear) to Aussie PM Scott Morrison. As their bushfires rage on, their smoke drifts over and engulfs two little islands those Aussies love to belittle. Ps: Lawbreakers born in New Zealand, even if they moved to Oz as babes in arms, can and have been deported ‘back home’ to NZ.

A Call From Your Neighborly Kiwis.

Scotty, pal, mate, sorry to interrupt your holiday,
You’re hot and frazzled but we’ve something to say,
We’ve put up with becoming the dumping ground
For the Kiwi criminal element you’ve forensicly found.

We don’t mind your cricketers condescending views,
We don’t mind pitching over the ditch fresh fire crews,
We Kiwis don’t mind being the butt of your every joke,
But Scott, don’t dump on us with your second hand smoke.

 

©Obbverse

In the Land Down Under, up to now the leaders of the Lucky Country, in thrall to Industry, dismissed climate change as the ravings of the Green and gullible. Might those ‘thoughts’ change now? More likely they’ll still willfully put ’em on the back burner.

Flip-Flop Weather.

National minds won’t change on the weather, ain’t no denying,
When it comes to carbon credits, the great mines ain’t buying,
They have no heart to turn away from their deep black hole,
Australia can go to blazes so long as they can sell their coal.

The mining moguls have dug up a fine solution
To cleanly dispel the dirty question of air pollution,
If their friends in power waver, show signs of doubt-
Whip out the big check-book and wave it about.

Most any Liberal proclaims climate change to be a myth,
They have any number of studies to twist and conjure with,
But as they silently rake over the razed and smoking ground
Has the hazy path towards enlightenment finally been found?

 

©Obbverse

Israel Folau, revered rugby player, claims- sermonises- that unrepentant sinners are the cause of Australia’s forest fires. Where’s a bolt of lightning from above when you need one?

Jesus Wept.

So, high and mighty Israel Folau,
You’ve flaming gone and done it now,
Our devout Christian-cum-climate denier
Claims sinfulness leads to forest- and Hellfire.

My flagging faith won’t be restored
By this empty-headed vessel of the Lord,
I pray St Peter has this sermon on record
When Israel goes to his final reward.

But I’ve heard that God does love a trier,
So might this unrepentant soul enquire,
Oh wise and enlightened Israel Folau
Who made you mightier than thou?

 

©Obbverse

Australian politics moves beyond a joke into the realms of farce. Australia fair to Aussie nightmare, overnight.

Pass The Chalice?

Of Malcolm Turnbull
They’d had a gutsful,
So Peter Dutton
Shoved his butt-in.

Then sweet Julie Bishop
Tried to wish up
Some more support
But came up short.

Late, late in the day
A joker came into play,
Dutton viewed with displeasure
Gods little treasure.

Grovelling promises made,
Old debts being repaid,
In this two horse race
Who’d wear the long face?

Thank God Barnaby Joyce
Was lost for choice.

So now who’ve they got?
Oh God, not-so-great Scott!

For Big Bad Pete
It’s ignominious defeat;
Don’t let the coup you mount
Leave you out for the count.

For Pete and his mate
Time, again, to commiserate,
Back, back to the back benches
Shovelling shit deep in the trenches.

There slumps Pete Dutton
Career, hopes, dead as mutton,
Leaving frustrated Tony Abbot
Sadly saying ‘ah fuck it dagnabit.’

Now Mal’s bitten the dust
So in Scott we must trust,
Time to let our new PM speak;
He could be gone by next week.

 

©Obbverse

Barnaby Joyce, Aussie Deputy PM and National Party leader resigns amid sexual conduct revelations. A man of high moral standards falls on his sword, sort of.

Bye Bye Barnaby.

Barnaby Joyce’s behaviour has been foul,
Impregnating his ex-press secretary Nikk.

Now the National leader’s tossed in the towel,
Those stains- on his character!- are gonna stick.

Some consider him to be a pain in the lower bowel
But he’s proved he’s just a prize prick.

Barnaby Joyce, Australia’s Deputy Prime Minister. Moral guardian, anti Gay marriage, a man of staunch moral principles and the Catholic faith. Alas, he’s only sub-human, after all.

Peoples Choice.

Barnaby Joyce is one hell of a guy,
Well, a hell of a politician, few can deny,
He has stepped out on his wife and four kids,
Blame ‘True Love’ not lust, for a career on the skids.

Will his conservative voters forgive his moral flaws?
Shouldn’t a Catholic living in carnal sin not give him pause?
Siring a secretary’s sprog out of wedlock’, he’s pushing it, rather.
Sadly, Barnaby can’t help it if his new kid has a bastard for a father.

Barnaby Joyce, once Deputy Australian Prime Minister, put in a hopeless position. However, there are two sides to every sad story. PS; This guy, being a dual citizen, can’t be elected in ‘Stralia.

Poor Relations.

I can but feel for your poor statesman Barnaby Joyce,
Being called a Fair Dinkum Kiwi leaves him fairly f… annoyed,
But PLEASE, give your ex second-in-command a second chance?
Him washing up on our fair shores doesn’t exactly leave US overjoyed.