Category Archives: Barnaby Joyce

Australian politics moves beyond a joke into the realms of farce. Australia fair to Aussie nightmare, overnight.

Pass The Chalice?

Of Malcolm Turnbull
They’d had a gutsful,
So Peter Dutton
Shoved his butt-in.

Then sweet Julie Bishop
Tried to wish up
Some more support
But came up short.

Late, late in the day
A joker came into play,
Dutton viewed with displeasure
Gods little treasure.

Grovelling promises made,
Old debts being repaid,
In this two horse race
Who’d wear the long face?

Thank God Barnaby Joyce
Was lost for choice.

So now who’ve they got?
Oh God, not-so-great Scott!

For Big Bad Pete
It’s ignominious defeat;
Don’t let the coup you mount
Leave you out for the count.

For Pete and his mate,
Time, again, to commiserate,
Back, back to the back benches
Shoveling shit deep in the trenches.

There slumps Pete Dutton
Career, hopes, dead as mutton,
Leaving frustrated Tony Abbot
Sadly saying ‘ah fuck it dagnabit.’

Now Mal’s bitten the dust
So in Scott we must trust,
Time to let our new PM speak;
He could be gone by next week.

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Barnaby Joyce, a pric… sorry, that should be a Prince among men. He cheats, shacks up with his secretary, then muddies the waters on the issue of the paternity of the child of his mistress. What a guy.

A Right Couple.

It’s the same old story, the secretary shags bags the boss,
Barnaby’s leaving leaves his wife and kids feeling a tad cross,
But after seeing his carryings-on, they’ll accommodate his loss.

Barnaby and Vikki look uncomfortable in the spotlights glare,
Some loyal Nationals still believe it’s all their own private affair;
Yes, fair enough, till Barnaby declares he has something to share…

His weaselly words could have come straight from Big Brother,
He claims the paternity of her love-child is known to the mother!
Don’t Vikki and toss-her-under-the-bus Barnaby deserve each other?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Barnaby is wanting some action, he gets the cold shoulder instead;
Sweet Vikki promised something more than pillow talk would be said;
Are our boy Barnaby’s ears burning on his cold blasted side of the bed?

Barnaby Joyce, Aussie Deputy PM and National Party leader resigns amid sexual conduct revelations. A man of high moral standards falls on his sword, sort of.

Bye Bye Barnaby.

Barnaby Joyce’s behaviour has been foul,
Impregnating his ex-press secretary Nikk.

Now the National leader’s tossed in the towel,
Those stains- on his character!- are gonna stick.

Some consider him to be a pain in the lower bowel
But he’s proved he’s just a prize prick.

Barnaby Joyce is a true National treasure, a rare and engaging man of the land. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. But baby, this boy ain’t ever going to be voted ‘Father of the Year.’

Talking Into His Hat.

Privately Barnaby and Vikki do make a pretty pair;
Publicly Barnaby brazenly faces the public glare,
His amorous amoral view he is happy to share-
As a politician he wonders why his public should care
About his peccadilloes when they’re his private affair?