Category Archives: Black humor

Ric Ocasek parks it, along with Eddie Money. Farewell guys, thanks for the good times.

Cruisin’ With Eddie And Ric.

Ric Ocasek, main driver of the Cars
Has joined that big band up in the the stars,
Eddie Money’s cashed in his check as well,
Two Tickets To Paradise is preferable to Hell.

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The President gets all up in arms and goes ape over vaping.

Dry Cough.

Don is going to make a stand,
Donald wants vaping banned,
Donald sees that noxious cloud
And decides ‘that can’t be allowed.’

Donald knows its deadly stuff;
It all starts with just one puff
Then kids are dying in the streets
According to Don’s concerned tweets.

How many lives will Don’s law save
From puffing away into an early grave?
See, Don canĀ do what’s good and right,
Might he yet become our shining light?

Don has proved saving lives can be done,
Now, can he handle the NRA smoking gun?
Shoot down the leading cause of accidental death?
I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Changes come thick and fast with the mercurial President doing the forecasting.

Draw Your Own Conclusions.

That nasty storm Dorian is one mean hurricane,
It’s left the Bahamas behind, but in a world of pain,
Among Florida’s citizenry dark clouds started to form-
Fear not, President Trump has his eye on the storm.

He believes he knows where it will make landfall
And Alabama’s fine folk had better heed his call,
For no matter how hard Mother Nature blows
Wherever Donald proposes is where Dorian goes.

An incredulous gasp is expelled by the weathermen,
Stunned by the Presidents sharp forecasting acumen,
They all believed he’d simply be a meteorological moron,
No doubts now, since he has their maps to draw on.

More shootings in Texas. Can’t someone there exercise a little control? Or is that crazy talk?

More Of The Same.

It was just another routine traffic stop
Or so thought the Odessa, Texas, traffic cop,
But you’re free to carry a shootin’ iron in the Lone Star State
And some ornery Texans prefer straight shootin’ to talkin’ straight.

The Texas Governor Greg grieves over the horrific toll
But Abbott’s not able to be convinced on gun control,
On the contrary, instead of any controls he’d rather
Give any fool who can afford a firearm open slather.

Boris Johnson, from mayor to nightmare in the blink of an eye.

Going Blondly Where None Have Gone Before.

Since Boris Johnson has taken command
Of England’s grim and unpleasantly divided land
Do you wonder where Parliamentary democracy went?
That question gets short shrift from Boris The Omnipotent.

Want some time for Parliamentary debate?
Boris smilingly says ‘sorry, but time’s up, too late,’
Now that Boris’s big butt’s behind the steering wheel
It’s foot down to throttle any rumblings about his no deal.

BoJo is hellbent on doing what Teresa couldn’t achieve,
Boris’s going to fu- fly off, and without a buy-your-leave,
Driving blindly forward to where there’s no coming back,
Bozo’s exiting,hard, Right, into a cold unfriendly cul-de-sac.

Donald Trump, President of World-Wide Real Estate, looks around for an investment. Look out Greenland!

Real Estate Buffoon.

Donald thunked ‘wouldn’t it be great
To make Greenland the fifty-first state?’
For Don this expensive venture holds great appeal-
And Trump could bank on Treasury to finance his deal.

To Donald, something about this place feels right,
Yes, it is a particularly strategically important military site,
But imagine, Dons own snow-white impenetrable garrison?
Suddenly Puerto Rico’s importance pales in comparison.

It would be his greatest deal, save for one small detail;
Those damn Danes say their territory is NOT for sale,
Don looks jealously at those rolling fields of green,
What a great private golf resort it could’ve been.

Another winning writers contest comes and goes. Just what makes for a funny submission? Who knows? (Not bitter or twisted, just befuddled.)

Nolo Contendere.

Checked my E-mails, same old dull routine,
Then a new missive lights my dull grey screen,
News from a competition entered loooong ago,
Click ‘open’, oh, but don’t get my hopes up though.

I’ve so hoped for the best before,
And I’d be disappointed once more.

Again, rejection, painful but not unexpected,
Again my select name amongst the unselected,
But after a sigh, a roll of the eyes and a rueful smile
I thought I’d read what wonders had topped the pile.

Perhaps, judging by the mood I was in
I shouldn’t judge- but where can I begin?

One thing required in a humourous poem contest
Is content that leaves one laughing, not depressed,
I’ll agree it is the good judges call to be fair, firm and tough
And I’ll allow my work this year- and hers- ain’t good enough.