Category Archives: coffee

A new year approaches, new job opportunities arise, and if things don’t work out, well, a spell on the dole might be good for this over-worked soul.

Dear Folks.

Dear folks, sorry I haven’t written lately-
Work has curtailed my writing time greatly,
My old ass of a supervisor has left in disgrace,
Unfortunately an even bigger one’s taken her place.

Nowadays my time is not my own,
Unanswered messages fill my iPhone,
I’m losing sleep, sangfroid and my friends
Now I’m working every Goddamn hour He sends.

I’m up at the crack of dawn,
My first act is a jaw-cracking yawn,
Second, I reach to switch of the phones alarm
Then for the Lorazepam to restore my morning calm.

Breakfast consists of a hash brown
With a jumbo Starbucks to wash it down,
Will this sustain me till my working day is done?
Por favor, barista, pour me another one, on the run.

I’m an hour at my work station, sweating away
When my supervisor begins his hard working day,
I don’t wish to infer that he’s an obese lazy swine
But when he finds his work hard, suddenly its mine.

By lunch that second coffee’s proved a big mistake,
The boss begrudgingly acquiesces to gimmie a break,
My flying feet slowed, faltered then crawled to a stall-
Two jumbo cups a morning’s a dribble too much after all.

Soon my eight hour day had come and gone,
I was feeling peeved, pissed-off and put-upon,
From not letting me spend a penny, on his dime
The tight-ass wants me here spending my free time.

I asked about paying time and a half?
How long and hearty that man can laugh,
Then when I suggested time and a quarter
His snort came quick, his bray even shorter.

So my work-a-day writings, I will admit
Have been joyless contributions to submit,
But now my scribblings are bound to get better-
How free and inspiring is writing a resignation letter?

Another enlightening and frightening week in ‘Merica. Pipe bombs sent to Democrats? Well, that’s just ‘bomb stuff.’ But then comes something for Don to get all Righteous about.

Siege Mentality.

Wake up USA, to today’s latest shoot-em-up,
In Pittsburgh another racist nut goes to town,
Donald looks up from his mornings bitter cup
And prepares to man up and double down.

It’s time for the President to assuage the pain,
What pearls will fall from the GreaT mans lip?
Let’s recycle them ol’ ‘thoughts’n’prayers again?
Now he can spit ’em out emptily at quite a clip.

Yes, today Don knows where to place the blame,
No saying ‘good people on both sides’ this time,
Now (though some Alt Rights won’t feel the same)
Shooting up a synagogue is a horrible hate crime.

Welcome to my nightmare. A touch of inspiration from reading the blog of a supply teacher undergoing a tortuous re-education. Someone who is also a fan of Kings ‘The Stand.’ So I thought I’d weave the strands together for a bit of fun.

Driven To Distraction.

I wake up in the morning, dark, rise with the friggin’ lark,
I clutch the coffee cup, wait for the night terrors to pass,
Fire up the Fiesta, sigh, hand reluctant to shift out of Park
Into Drive to drive on autopilot to an unteachable first class.

On arrival I take a deep breath, a Diazepam, then two more
Before bravely walking into my recurring real-life horror story,
Fighting the sea of indifference shuffling down the corridor;
Cell-centred blank eyed zombies, brainless but ambulatory.

At lunch I’ve no taste for my sandwich, I take two Tums instead,
My faith in talking sense sense to foolish minds continues to unravel
Despite spending my lunch communing with the arch Deputy Head,
I told her of her schools flaws, she told me to fu– about sex and travel.

So, advice taken, I’m off to the Fiesta and off I fu– off home I go;
A little listening to a audiobook might restore my equanimity,
As the strains of Stephen Kings ‘The Stand’ ooze from the stereo
I think I might share his dim view on some things like, oh, inhumanity?

A trip to chilly Scotland, to the big bold brassy city. Here a poor simple innocent Antipodean might easily have his head turned by the promise of hot steamy offerings… So ripe, so redolent, so seductive.

Bittersweet.

We’ve loved the life in Edinburgh, there’s so much to see and do,
Take a tour around the Old Town, take in the spectacular view,
My wife knows I’m no romantic but as our Christmas here passes
I’m seeing less through frozen specs than rose-tinted glasses.

We’ve Tiki-toured to near and far, from Loch Ness to Stockbridge,
Based in a quaint olde cottage free of all mod cons- like a fridge;
Promenaded past the Balmoral, trekked up ‘n’ down the Royal Mile,
Even the theatrics of a Spooky Spirits Tour invoked the ghost of a smile.

Yet- and yet- there is one unsavory thing I have found,
In both the New and Old Towns, on high or lower ground,
A presence lurks in the shadows, pervasive, omnipresent,
A fact of life in bonny Edinburgh I find, frankly unpleasant.

They seem to to haunt every corner, their entreaties oh so sweet,
Boldly advertising their dark seductive pleasures, pictures of deceit,
The wafting scent, the open invitation of a treat to make your day complete;
Don’t succumb, all you get is highway robbery, and tossed out into the street.

…No no no NO NO, I must explain, I don’t mean the ladies of the night;
There’s little wrong with consensual transactions, when the price is right,
No NO, I’ve never sought the dubious charms of a bargain basement tryst,
Nor the comfort and release of a half-price half-interested flip of the wrist.

Understand, if propositioned, this gentleman will decline,
The story essayed above did happen- to a ‘friend’ of mine…

The travesty I’m talking of is insidious, a blight and a scourge,
See, there’s the door, walk in if you’ve the nerve or the urge,
But beware, the broken man speaking to you strode in like a hero-
There’s nothing to suck the joy from life than supping a Caffe Nero.

The ill-practiced baristas lassitude was just the first of my concerns-
Its true that at Nero’s you’le see someone faffing about as the milk burns-
No, I didn’t leave no tip, I offered no thanks, because scarce a sip I drank,
I rate Caffe Nero bottom of the barrel, a stone-cold zero in taste- and rank.