Category Archives: Donald Trump

When Don read the opinion piece about his dysfunctional workplace he wanted answers, not anonymity.

There’s Where The Answer Lies.

Don heard reports his House was in a chaotic state,
News guaranteed to make him rail and fulminate,
So now Donald’s mulling over lie detector tests
To truly protect the priviliged Presidents interests.

Don wants a full and frank confession on record,
Either via the lie detector or preferably, water board,
And once he he finds out who is his anonymous source
It will all end in a tirade, tears, and then… in divorce?

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A book launch for Bob Woodward, the doyen of political writers, followed by a measured critique from Don and those- still- at the White House.

Fear And Loathing In Mar-a-Lago.

It’s been two years since the rise of President Trump,
Now he’s experiencing the ol’ half-way slump,
Now the (FAKE!) polls maliciously confirm
All ain’t rosy in the White House at mid-term.

Don was handed Bob Woodwards book,
He unwrapped it with hands that shook
With an endearingly childish sense of anticipation,
He then bent forward to read Bobs dedication…

Don read the fine print with twitching lip,
Words traced by the Presidents fingertip,
Soon he realised the hurtful things Bob said-
After sounding out the words in his head.

With the maturity for which Don is known
He reached for the comfort of his flipping phone,
And after a furious CAPITALISED tweet
Found Bobs home number and pressed ‘delete.’

Upon hearing Dons cry of wounded pride
Ivanka rushed in to the Presidents side,
Jarred stood by, a look of fear in his eye
As unPresidential curses and papers flew by.

Don railed at Bobs charges, completely unfounded,
In a frenzy Donalds desk was dementedly pounded-
We could’ve all been facing an incendiary September
Had the desk top launch code been easier to remember.

With half the White House staff facing eviction
Sarah Huckabee denounces Bobs book as fiction,
While Don goes through Bobs book page by page
Balling ’em in the waste basket, incandescent with rage.

All Don humbly asks of those who ‘advise’ him
Is for ’em to subserviently agree to his every whim,
Don does not take criticism (or Fear) well, I’m afraid-
It’s been his single failing since, oh, Fifth Grade.

What? All change at the White House legal team- again? Ah well, Donald is chafing to personally fix the legal system anyway.

The Law Is An Ass.

When Dons innocent dealings caused offence,
When he’d find himself in need of legal defence,
When he found the going getting pretty sticky
He’d call Mr Fix-it Cohen, AKA Tricky Mickey.

But now Don feels incensed, full of fury and regret,
For his once trusted Cohort and Mr Mueller have met,
Mikey’s gathered up all his tapes, notes and diaries
And is helping Bob with his probing enquiries.

Now his top White House Counsel loyal Don McGahn-
Who for thirty hours of Bobs grilling defended his boss man-
Sweating through the gruelling Summer, backed against the wall-
Finds Don’s designated him to take retirement and the fall by Fall.

In solidarity Stefan Passantino, McGahns Deputy and protege
Has tendered his resignation, beginning the end of the day,
With evidence of dark White House intrigues proving so abundant
As Lawyer-in-charge of White House Ethics, obviously Stef’s redundant.
 

The President honors one of his GOP fallen friends with a little flag waving. With friends like Don who needs eulogies?

True Colours.

When a mighty ‘Merican hero has passed
The White House flag stays at half-mast,
Till the last effuse eulogy has been expressed
And the fallen warrior is laid to his final rest.

It might fly for a day, could be a week
Before he goes to ground, so to speak,
But these days our bold new President
Is showing he’s above displays of sentiment.

Now, on Dons House, it flutters only half a day,
It’s petty and petulant, but ain’t that Dons way?
A new low, but the way this President’s carrying on
A dip of flag will do when it’s time up for Don.

John McCain and the president. Never got on then, not getting on now, even with one gone. Though, for once, Don seems lost for words.

Edgewise.

With the sad demise of John McCain
The President made his feelings plain,
A White House tribute he will not entertain.

Oh, he sent out his condolences with a tweet,
His hoary old ‘thoughts’n’prayers,’ short and sweet,
But a busy President has plans, so message complete.

Johns untimely passing causes Don a pang of remorse,
Don’s brooding that time, like money, is a finite resource-
Johns going’s gone and ruined his entire day at the golf course.

The presidents lawyer pleads guilty, his campaign manager is found guilty all on the one day. So much guilt, so much association.

Moral Dilemma.

As the miserable and manacled Manafort leaves the Court
Donald offers this fine felon his sympathetic support;
Doesn’t offering comfort to a fraud set to serve a lifetime
Seem at odds with the presidents hard line on crime?

It depends if your collars
Lily white or sweat-soaked blue,
And if you have millions of dollars
And Don can forgive- or pardon- you.

But mention his cheap lawyer and Don has not a word,
No thanks to Mike for the good services he procured,
Shouldn’t Don be screaming blue murder and high treason?
Its so disquieting seeing Don display rectitude, with reason.

For what might Mueller’s mob learn
Should they happen to turn the worm?
Might Mikes words make Dons ears burn,
Or worse, lock in the Prez for another term?

Rudy Giuliani, Trumps lawyer, says of his oh-so-innocent client; ‘I’m not going to be rushed into having him testify so he gets trapped into perjury.’ Tell it to the judge, Rudy.

True Story.

Mr Giuliani, please tell us more,
Since you’re well practiced at law
Do tell us, how in your learned view
The truth appears to look to Don and you?

In all your lawyerly twists and turns
Are there times the ol’ truth still burns?
When did that fiery-eyed highly principled youth
Find cold hard cash trumps poor unvarnished truth?

Rudy’s found its quite a trial to remember,
In all conscience, when last stirred an ember,
The truth (and Don’s fee) weigh heavy on his shoulder,
But it truly pays to say ‘truths in the eye of the beholder.’

Should some shady lady claim an affair,
Feelin’ free to tell a tale the Media will share,
A gold-digger who’d delight in having her say in Court,
Don don’t lie, awake at night, her silence can be bought.

Any criticism Don finds unfair, unjust and tough to take,
So he he stretches facts by saying their facts are fake,
Till it dawned on Don ‘why not lie without shame?’
To him, truth or lies, they’re all the same.