Category Archives: emergency

In times of Emergency desperate times require desperate measures, even if it means fiddling for funds for pis- piddling away on a wall.

Insecurities.

Donald is off on his latest low-down undertaking,
He needs money to fix a crisis, of his own making,
The Army of law’n’order fans of his border wall
Will now see Don pillaging Peter to pay Paul.

Building walls up was easy to say in an election run
But getting Mexico to pay is easier said that done,
He keeps calling about the millions of dollars they owe,
Not one ‘Hola’ has he got from the President of Mexico.

It matters not to Don that the funds are misappropriated
Or that real Democracy has been truly desecrated,
What do you expect when the megalomaniac you elect
Injudiciously, sadly, madly must get his vanity project?

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Getting wet and wild on your holiday/honeymoon. A bit of a cautionary tale.

Taken, With A Dose Of Salt.

The summer sun was dazzling bright,
The sea a’sparkling in the sunlight,
Not one solitary cooling cloud in sight
For honeymooners on the Great Australian Bight.

Up on deck after a hot ardourous night
Still this couple are feeling set to ignite,
Where, where to escape 100-degrees Fahrenheit?
The sea offers a cool promise of respite.

Skinny dipping is a sheer naked delight,
The seas ebb and flow sure to primordially excite,
But bare bodies are also sure to whet the appetite
Of Tiger, Tigers, Basking, a bloody Great White.

Read a witty blog on toilet humor, and something moved me. (Thanks, Kunal Thakore, and his blog Random Rants Ruminations Ramblings.)

Ruminations From A Little Room.

There are times, times when Nature calls
When on the verge but the urge stalls;
After arriving white-knuckled,
Zipping down, belt unbuckled,
Then taking your seat with indecent haste
You find yourself sat, with time to waste.

What a tedious place to be confined,
In a silent cubicle, in a bind.

But no poet minds being ‘unavoidably detained,’
Sitting, pondering, mind wandering unrestrained,
I refuse to sit idly by,
I’ve pen and paper, triple ply…
Now my tale is told, and in reasonable rhyme,
A half-decent job, given the constraints of time.

It’s a bit slap-dash, it won’t win any poetry prize
But this gutsy effort still brings tears to my eyes.

(This is as close to the edge of bad taste as I tread. And who wants to tread any deeper?)

‘Houston, we have a problem.’ Well, if you’re in Harris County Texas don’t bother calling 911… An emergency operator has cut off thousands of calls because she ‘sometimes doesn’t feel like talking.’

Hear Say.

If you’re in Houston and place an emergency call
Crenshanda Williams won’t be concerned at all,
Whatever dire emergency you wish to report
Crenshanda likes to keep calls concise, and short.

All she wants at her workplace is contemplative quietude
But people insist on calling in and killing the mood,
All these people saying it’s a matter of life and death,
Her curt advice to them is to save their breath.

Crenshanda was told at her last workplace review
‘Answering emergency dispatches ain’t the calling for you,’
She won’t be working long here, that’s the word I hear,
Crenshanda’s being thrown out on her unsympathetic ear.