Category Archives: Flying

Let’s look at all this tinsel and glad tidings, lords a’leaping and convivial yuletide merriment from a slightly cynical point of view. Hey, It’s all about the giving.

That Flippin’ Old Reindeers Tail.

As Christmas cheer and the shortest day quickly draw near
I sneer at those believers in Santa, presents, and flying reindeer,
In matters of Christmas spirit Scrooge and I are of the same view,
The seasons the reason for cold-hearted merchants to turn the screw.

The notion of presents coming in the night?
You’re either six years old or not quite right.

On Christmas Eve I cast a wintry eye o’er the holiday forecast,
News of zero and below brought on bad memories of Christmas past,
As I espied the first falling snowflale I was filled not with joy but sorrow
And the certain knowledge I’d be up to my a- ankles (or deeper) in it tomorrow.

The sight of the snow a’settling on my window ledge
And my cracked-soled size nines put my teeth on edge.

‘Twas midnight when I woke to something clattering on my roof,
Something was afoot, but I couldn’t believe it was something ahoof,
Right up till I stepped out onto the roof my doubts about Kris persisted,
But one look at my shattered shingles confirmed Dasher and Co. existed.

I stood, cursing the Christ…mas out of the falling snow,
Did I hear, up there,a tinkle, a mischievous Yo ho ho?

He had good reason to fly, without goodbye or by-your-leave,
So though I hadn’t actually SEEN him, you bet your ass I believe,
It takes fresh tangible evidence for this sceptic to change his mind,
Sadly Santa- or at least the reindeer- had left heaps of presents behind.

Now ’tis not the chill of icy snow I dread,
It’s that warm sinking feeling wherever I tread.

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No free rides or happy landings in the Presidential inner circle.

Tom Price In Free Fall.

So another good Trump man has gone,
Tom Price has been dismissed by Don,
No public servant has blown so much on luxury flight,
Arduous journeys magically became transports of delight.

Since Don asked Tom where the funds came from
There will be no more high flying for poor Tom,
From being on board Air Force One with the President
He’s flown from favour faster than a Muslim immigrant.

So Toms going back to the bad old days,
Of long queues and longer delays,
Tom had no answer, the Don has spoken;
Much longer and his record would be broken.

Since Don has thrown him out on his tight ass
Its a seat in cheap ‘n’ nasty Economy Class,
Tom’s paying the price, he’s now flying right, not wrong,
Even smiling at that spoiled brat that screams all flight long.

The PresiDon shows up in Texas to help out- for the second time. Ain’t the great State doubly blessed?

As Big As Texas.

Flying back home Don cast down an eye,
-As one does when in the sky, from on high,
Looking down on those tiny toiling peasants
Don truly felt they’d be buoyed by his presence.

He’d seen Corpus Christi and Galveston,
By Houston he’d felt his duty had been done,
But for once had his leaving been precipitous?
Could this devastating event also be serendipitous?

At the thought, a lump rose to his throat-
A photo op- and he’d almost missed the boat,
Sadly Texas had suffered terribly in the deluge;
Therefore chances of bolstering his image were HUGE.

Melania thought she was safely back on the ground
When Donald announced they were turning around,
Donald’s entourage of advisers broke into a cold sweat
Seeing yet another Donald Trump breath-taking pirouette.

Don’s going to show us he had the common touch-
There’s a thought that shouldn’t worry him overmuch-
Weird, how one who puts such store in what he’s worth
Wishes to show po’ down home folks he’s down to earth.

Those who said Don’s vain, shallow, proud and aloof
Will meet with Dons swift return and righteous reproof,
Imagine how good him tousling some poor tykes Afro looks?
Surely THAT’S got to get our guy into Someones good books?

After smiling and posing till his face hurts
Dons had enough of dealing with little squirts,
So he finds a private place to don his galoshes
And edges right up to where the floodwater washes.

There he stands, staring, brooding, in a brown study,
The water Harvey delivered looks cold murky and muddy,
When faced with a flood of epic, nay, of biblical proportions
Dons next step is bold, despite what that inner voice cautions.

As he realises he has to forgo his long held belief
Its a chilling moment for the Commander-in-chief,
With heavy heart he sees how swiftly his foot sinks,
‘No walking on the water yet,’ Don despondently thinks.

Getting wet and wild when Harvey came storming in.

Wherever The Wind Blows.

The great state of Texas has had the odd spot of rain,
So Don drops in, winging in on his Presidential plane,
He’s here to hear and feel those poor Texan’s pain;
What’s Washington’s loss is the Lone Stars gain.

Once the news cameras switch off his interest wanes-
The great man can’t play golf in 100-mile an hour hurricanes-
So away he flies, spouting hogwash ’bout swamping the drains,
Don’s poured oil on the waters, but that whiff of sewerage remains.

Rex spends four hours in New Zealand, Here spreading the love, Rex receives a great big hand- Or a part thereof.

A Little Birdie…

In Wellington Rex failed to see a single welcoming banner;
Still, the peasantry hailed him in a most singular manner,
The cheering crowd he’d thought he’d seen and heard
Turned out to be jeering and giving him the bird.

Wellington is where, for Rex it began to unravel;
Tillerson got their message about sex and travel

The Nine Day misguided tour, brought to you by Trump Travel.

Flitting About.

The Saudis succumbed to Donald’s charms
Once he reached out to ’em with his arms.

On to Israel with their message ringing in his ear-
That Jerusalem Embassy is no longer a capital idea.

There he stood quietly staring at the Western wall,
The cracks therein didn’t resonate with him- at all.

Approached the Pope, hoped he’d forgive every sin;
The Lords representative didn’t know where to begin.

The NATO photo shoot pictured him as grace personified
But somehow the friends he’d made didn’t see his best side.

Then home, and he’s over his travels if not his travails,
Hoping his son-in-laws luck in Russian roulette prevails.

United Airlines in disarray. Whoever said ‘All publicity is good publicity?’ An abject lesson in getting it wrong, and all recorded, for the record.

Wing Ding.

I sat down, pulled my belt tight
And waited for the plane to alight,
As the attendant surveyed the packed aisle
A frown of concern replaced her faux smile.

It appeared there had been an oversight,
Somehow, someone had overbooked the flight
And United had to find room for four of their crew.
Does bumping off fare paying customers seem fair to you?

NOW Uniteds CEO is being most contrite,
His host of Lawyers long to put this wrong right,
One trip from Chicago, Illinois to Louisville, Kentucky
Will cost him a billion bucks and his pension- If he’s lucky.