‘Crazy Jarrod is what they all said,
The lies in that f… fake newspaper I read!
This is all their fault, they made me see red,
And now all over this paper my story’s spread.’
How my grievances hit the front page,
Jarrod, famous, is standing centre stage,
My word being ignored was the real outrage
So I punctuated my point with a twelve gauge.
Back to my safe secure cell I’m silently led,
There to to contemplate my sins on my single bed,
Oh, to say I’m sane or blame the ‘voices’ in my head?
Option One leaves the NRA legal team in mortal dread.
(This is not meant to be flippant, its more with a sense of weary resignation.)
At Plato’s Closet, where thrifty bargains abound
Dad shopped while Mom waited in the car with the kid,
Whatever is this heavy metal thing the kid found?
Could it be something silly Daddy should’ve hid?
Dad, your handy handgun shouldn’t be left lying around,
It may lead to a bloody unfortunate accident, God forbid,
Some do argue a gun with Safety on is safe and sound,
But Dad, leaving it on- and loaded- is, put simply, stupid.
When one itchy-fingered but innocent kid let loose a round,
Towards the warm Indiana earth Mom gracelessly slid,
Has a little kid ever taught Dad a lesson more profound?
You bet your ever-lovin’ wife’s life this kid did.
A teacher at Stoneman Douglas High School
Felt the call of Nature something cruel;
If experience has taught Sean anything at all
It’s not to try to forestall Natures call.
The Glock 9mm he’d bought to protect himself
He laid, Safety off, safely on a handy shelf,
And once his ruminations were done
He left with much relief but sans his gun.
There may well be need to vacate the latrine,
For Sean to speedily, as it were, vacate the scene;
But for the benefit of the next occupants peace of mind
Please, Mr Simpson- doh!- don’t leave your piece behind.
Trust the NRA to dampen the kids carnival atmosphere,
Those noisy kids LaPierre doesn’t want to see nor hear,
Why can’t they hold the Second Amendment dear?
Why can’t they forget their poor start to their year
And, like the NRA take time… for the smoke to clear?
Wayne wishes these protesters would just quietly disappear.
As the kids say, Mr LaPierre- blow it out your rear.
The Prez ponders on the question of the latest school shooting,
The NRA have found an answer that they’re keen on contributing,
The first priority for a teacher is to be a passable problem solver,
The second, say the NRA, is to aim to be be first class with a revolver.
Don and the firearms manufacturers think its a policy worth backing,
Although pupils may well be petrified knowing Sir or Ma’am is packing:
Those still attending Stoneman Douglas must feel a touch of concern-
Just how many bloody lessons does it take for one’s learned peers to learn?