The Prez ponders on the question of the latest school shooting,
The NRA have found an answer that they’re keen on contributing,
The first priority for a teacher is to be a passable problem solver,
The second, say the NRA, is to aim to be be first class with a revolver.
Don and the firearms manufacturers think its a policy worth backing,
Although pupils may well be petrified knowing Sir or Ma’am is packing:
Those still attending Stoneman Douglas must feel a touch of concern-
Just how many bloody lessons does it take for one’s learned peers to learn?
Yet another school shooting in Florida leaves us numb,
From the President the prayers and platitudes come,
More fretting and flapping of Trumpian gums
Followed by a frenzy of twittering thumbs.
Don is rightly upset about what some crazed kid has done,
Though the conclusion he arrives at sure is a strange one,
Oh so many sorrowful words for lost daughters and sons;
And not one single syllable about the madness of guns?
If you’re in the hunt for some good clean fun
Dig out your passport and grab your elephant gun,
Now, thanks to what Don has gone and said and done
You can blaze merrily away ‘neath the Zimbabwean sun.
Don has duly given his licence to a blood sport
And the NRA give him their wholehearted support,
It’s the product of a mutual disregard for logical thought,
But elephants are on the brink of being extinct, so time is short…
Fly direct to Zimbabwe
And land in festive and restive Harare,
Say you will pay handsomely to go on safari
(But better not say Grace or Robert Mugabe.)
Get over there before the climate here becomes too hot,
It just takes a little money and you can be a real big shot,
Some say big game hunting’s cold blooded killing , but it’s not,
But hurry, if you’re lucky you might even plug the last of the lot.
So take aim, squeeze your trigger, watch another fall,
Bringing down something so big makes a little man stand tall,
So bring back that brainless stuffed head, mount it on the wall;
Perhaps Dumbo Don has left us a perfect and lasting legacy after all?
This week it’s been in a dusty little Texas town,
There half a congregation were gunned down,
Another week, another maniac with a gun,
And next week there will be another one.
Our betters wring their hands once more,
Much like last week, and the week before,
Another abomination, another crazy crime,
But DON’T mention gun control at this sad time.
Soon in Sutherland Springs they’ll bury their dead,
A stirring never-to-be-forgotten speech will be read,
But thinking a lesson’s been learned would be a mistake-
Not with Freedom and a high-powered Amendment at stake.
Our fine leader wears a face wreathed in sadness
But he shows no will or want to rein in the madness,
So, next week when some gung-ho gun nut goes insane
We’ll send our condolences and hopes and prayers- again.
‘My NRA comrades-in-arms, times are fraught,
Rally to this call to alms, hand us your support,
A certain someone’s turned to Vegas as a last resort
And left us with the repercussions and a nasty report.
So, with wounds still raw and feelings overwrought
Now it’s time to practice what our forefathers taught,
To cherish old traditions for which they slaved and fought,
NOW is not the time to talk Control, perish (ahem) the thought.
Now you take your time to reflect, maintain silence and comport-
As the painful headlines fade, the peoples memory grows short;
Then we’ll be spendin’ time at Congress and the Supreme Court,
Every gun totin’ donation helps prove justice can be bought.’
The House always wins, that’s what they say,
Yet you’re free to drink, whiling your money away,
But this sombre October morn may mark the destitution
Of the tucked away-in-a-quiet corner Mandalay Bay;
Surely too many have lost today?
So it’s in God we trust, and pray
We can live with the price we must pay
For retaining an old hide-bound cast-iron Constitution,
And a President who aims to make a Great USA,
But doesn’t care or dare to take on the NRA.