Category Archives: humor

Anxiety and stress- free at last!

The Rhyme And The Reason.

I watch the doings of our leaders, so sage and wise,
I shake my head, give a heartfelt sigh and roll my eyes,
Once I used to rant and rave but today that’s not my style,
Now I only offer a word to them wise-guys, and a sardonic smile.

Back then their clodhopping missteps and monumental errors
Had me waking, screaming in my bed, gripped by night terrors,
No more sitting in sweaty (sometimes slightly soiled) nightshirts,
Now on Fluoxetine I feel fine- apart from the odd bout of weltshmerz.

Post Hearing; Don decides on a Declaration of intent.

Sorry, WHAT?

How now will the patriotic defenders of democracy regard Don?
What of his witterings on his Divine/Presidential right to pardon?
A call on which both Jeff and Don Junior most deafeningly agree?
I believe I heard Don perfectly clearly, but if I didn’t, pardon me.

Take this job and shove off; Shooing the messenger. After six months of spitting in the eyes of the closest reporters Sean’s been spat out.

Muttering Away.

What a pity for poor Mr Spicer,
All he got was pain and strife,
Will his sad life now get nicer
Now he can get a (quiet) life?

After all Sean’s double talk
Don has single-mindedly spoken,
Sean’s shuffled off for a quiet walk,
Oh, long may the silence be unbroken.

There’s a great deal of Devil in the detail, as the artful Don will tell you.

Two Of His Chosen Ones.

Don gave Sessions his contract, Jeff gave it his perusal,
‘Blind obedience, believe the unbelievable’- Dons usual;
When he makes an offer The Don doesn’t take a refusal,
So Jeff hastily signed on, time later for regret- and recusal.

With Comey going Don has another offer to extend,
He welcomed in Robert Mueller like a long-lost friend,
Would this crushing handshake and Dons limits never end?
Now he’s mulled it over, Bob suspects Comey started a trend.

Don’s picks know sniffing around his personal folder
Tends to make his warm and welcoming eyes smoulder,
Jeff and Bob are turning away, looking over their shoulder,
The balmy Mar-a-lago days have turned unreasonably colder.

That Special someone to squawk to.

Speaking ‘Merican.

Don plopped down beside Vladimir just after dessert,
A little- ahem, Big Boys bonding session couldn’t hurt?
But Vlad speaks no English, he needs his interpreter to,
And since Don has lost his translator, Vlad’s lad would do.

Some people speak of collusion,
He translates that with confusion,
What Don says Vlad is rapt to hear,
Which is so flattering to Dons ear.

At the end of the one-way talk Don was amazed to find
Vlad hadn’t contributed much, in fact little came to mind,
But when handed their transcript of what they said he said
The things he’d agreed to had sounded different in his head.

When he walked through the door; In the heat of the moment we all make accommodations to base needs. Modern love, eh?

Something Special.

From across the crowded room
Their eyes met and he just knew
That this was The One to whom
His wishes must be relayed to.

He could only stop and stare,
He felt the longing, the desire,
For something so precious and rare
He’d risk the flames of Hell fire.

She suspected it was her dress
That had drawn his attention;
Nevertheless she had to confess
That was expressly the intention.

He stumbled for the words to say
Yet she did not mind him deliberating,
He might be taking a year and a day
But she stood, smiling, waiting.

Tremulously he opened his mouth,
Wordlessly he closed it again,
Confidence not so much going South
As going down the drain.

His eyes wouldn’t meet hers at all,
He tried to speak but his tongue didn’t obey,
He peered past her, at the wall
But she knew she just couldn’t walk away…

After an eternity, with stumbling voice
He spoke low, with slow deliberation,
She was delighted he’d made his choice
Though not by his mumbling conversation.

His words seemed to catch in his throat,
Yet sometimes silence can say so much,
So he wrote her a heartfelt note
And her hand trembled at his touch.

His missive written oh-so-sweetly
Was a simple but impassioned request,
She read it, and time stopped completely
As she crushed the parchment to her breast.

She gazed up at his expectant face,
His hopes, his wants could not be writ clearer,
She had waited long, with maidenly grace,
Now, smilingly she bade him to come nearer.

In his eyes she could see his yearning,
His pleasure she did not want to ignore,
And with fair cheeks hotly burning
She suggested something more…

Tho’ in the rowdy room no-one could hear
This was neither time nor place for idle chat,
When she leaned over he boldly cupped… her ear-
Said ‘Yep’ when she mouthed ‘Extra fries with that?’

For an embattled President is it that old familial feeling?

Son Of A Gun.

It’s tense around the Presidents inner sanctum,
Lately Donald’s been throwing the odd tantrum,
Criticism of his tweeting is bound to get his ire up,
But mention Russian meddling and see Don really fire up.

Fealty and loyalty to El Presidente is a prerequisite,
And that’s not too much to ask of mere hirelings, is it?
But doubt him and he’ll stomp around till the walls shake-
Don’t talk of walls now though, that’s no borderline mistake.

On tippy toe, ever so silently round Don his serfs go-
Spicer’s reduced to blinking once for yes, twice for no,
Lately family, like Ivanka, stand in and speak on his behalf,
But nepotism’s over now, Don Juniors dumber than the staff. *

* Yeah, I know, the last line is un-PC these days. Whatever.