Category Archives: Ivanka Trump

A book launch for Bob Woodward, the doyen of political writers, followed by a measured critique from Don and those- still- at the White House.

Fear And Loathing In Mar-a-Lago.

It’s been two years since the rise of President Trump,
Now he’s experiencing the ol’ half-way slump,
Now the (FAKE!) polls maliciously confirm
All ain’t rosy in the White House at mid-term.

Don was handed Bob Woodwards book,
He unwrapped it with hands that shook
With an endearingly childish sense of anticipation,
He then bent forward to read Bobs dedication…

Don read the fine print with twitching lip,
Words traced by the Presidents fingertip,
Soon he realised the hurtful things Bob said-
After sounding out the words in his head.

With the maturity for which Don is known
He reached for the comfort of his flipping phone,
And after a furious CAPITALISED tweet
Found Bobs home number and pressed ‘delete.’

Upon hearing Dons cry of wounded pride
Ivanka rushed in to the Presidents side,
Jarred stood by, a look of fear in his eye
As unPresidential curses and papers flew by.

Don railed at Bobs charges, completely unfounded,
In a frenzy Donalds desk was dementedly pounded-
We could’ve all been facing an incendiary September
Had the desk top launch code been easier to remember.

With half the White House staff facing eviction
Sarah Huckabee denounces Bobs book as fiction,
While Don goes through Bobs book page by page
Balling ’em in the waste basket, incandescent with rage.

All Don humbly asks of those who ‘advise’ him
Is for ’em to subserviently agree to his every whim,
Don does not take criticism (or Fear) well, I’m afraid-
It’s been his single failing since, oh, Fifth Grade.

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The President might be thin-skinned but he’s a fighter. Now we sit back and see the shi… ahem, the fur fly.

Animus.

Omarosa was once Don’s dear and trusted adviser,
So what is it she’s done to make him despise her?
Well, since she’s been fired shes written a tell-all book,
A record of the colorful conversations in which he partook.

She says he used the nasty word, he denies all such dialogue
And now they’re rolling in the gutter fighting like cat and dog,
There sure ain’t no love lost between these old erstwhile friends
As manners go down the drain, into the swamp decorum descends.

Again the sly old dog digs into his trusty grab-bag of dirty tricks,
Don knows of old how to put the squeeze on low, lying chicks-
Yet his catastrophic brush with Bush on the bus gives him pause-
Best hope his big bad bark will cause her to withdraw her claws.

As Ivanka frenziedly re-edits every episode in ‘The Apprentice’
Shifty-eyed Ms Huckabee says Omarosa is non compos mentis,
But parroting weasel words leaves Huckabee unutterably sad,
She’s found it’s the old hound who is utterly barking mad.

Sometimes all that incendiary talk is more than hot air.

Teed Off On Vacation

When he was polishing his ball out on his course
Don found he had the the time to talk of applying force,
Off on vacation, still chipping away, Don began to ponder
On launching things other than balls into the wild blue yonder.

Part of Dons game is matching fire with fire
But when Kim hears Dons voice his rises higher,
To Donald it’s merely vainglorious sabre rattling,
More obnoxious oafish juvenile bully-boy prattling.

Dons crazy talk is reciprocated by Kim Jong Uns,
Anyone listening knows they’re both Loony Tunes,
And so Donalds words, so lacking in diplomatic grace,
Fulsome words full of braggadocio, blow up in his face.

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Do Dons thoughts turn to Melania and Ivanka
As he self-pityingly putters around in his bunker?
Seems Kim had found Dons gentle joshing… annoying;
The anger from their fallout is more than Seoul destrying.