Official Police Escort.
On June 17, '94 Ford salesmen sat glued to the TV all day,
Every eye on a white Bronco, the show- 'Drive-by With OJ,'
Following cops on a long slow drive down the Five Freeway,
A free all-day live TV priceless product placement display
With not a hope in Hades of OJ making a quick getaway;
OJ deserved a one-off cheque, but hey- crime don't pay.
(Any opinions or actions attributed to bad actors riding shotgun in a Bronco were not endorsed or approved of by the Flawed Motor Company.)
(Part Two of The Flawed Concept trilogy, if that doesn't sound too pretentious.)
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(You wanna gun in Texas ? Write a cheque and it’s yours, no questions asked. You wanna vote? Whoa there- now Governor Abbott wants to cross-check you.)
Texas Hold 'em.
'We don't take kindly to restrictions here, Son,
Soon here in Texas ya'll can carry round a gun,
And then, Son, ya'll won't need no licence or permit,
Son, we cain't wait for Governor Abbott to confirm it.'
'Soon, Son, strapped to your hip-
A Colt for your personal protection
Within it, a lawfully fully loaded clip
Thanks to Governor Abbotts election.'
'Son, the Second 'Mendment is our God given Right,
Us rebels Republicans chafe against restrictive oversight,
Soon, Son ya'll be free to pack a pistol without a Doctors note-
Shoot, Son, in Texas it's easier gettin' a gun than gettin' to vote!'
'Son, once Abbot's doozy legislation's passed
Then he's on to checkin' out Voters Rights Time,
Then, Boy- if ya'll aim to cast your Democrat vote fast
Ya'll be stuck in lines longer than at Disney, Anaheim.'
Lawyers Never Lack In Appeal.
Derek Chauvin's poor loser of a lawyer is now saying
Many more legal loopholes avenues are worth persuing,
This lifetime sentence is worth spending time on delaying-
(The tricky part remains that nine minutes of painful viewing.)
Monetarily it might cost him- a lot,
And it's bound to take mighty long,
But Derek's lawyer's in a tight spot
So count him in to right your wrong!
The real appeal of our untimely appeal is it will take a pile while,
Buying time to blame Floyd's death on 'unhappy happenstance?'
'So we, Derek's defence, demand another long drawn-out trial!'
(Say Counsellor, when will George Floyd get a second chance?)
Derek Chauvin denied his all-too-obvious guilt,
His good lawyer argued his lousy case to the hilt,
Tried to frame Floyd's death as a 'medical mystery,'
Pity Derek's knee on the neck was there for all to see.
Once a cop could blow off an 'escape attempt,'
Treat 'alleged' brutality with a smile of contempt,
Once any cops perjur-ative testimony was enough;
Now a cheap cell phone video will call Derek's bluff.
And so, the damning evidence was played;
That don't look good for Derek, I'm afraid;
Derek, looking all innocent won't succeed;
Jurors, how much evidence do you kneed?
Deep down Derek knew the jury's verdict could be no surprise
Though a flicker of emotion darkened those lizard-like eyes,
Yes, behind his mask how truly sorry (for himself) he feels-
His first day inside and he'll be sucking down liquid meals.
There are so many inside who'll happily rearrange his smile,
So many too ready to mete out some justice without a trial,
He's prayin' hard for a solitary sentence, the full 24 hours;
Beats being on his knees whenever he visits the showers.
Rich Man, Ponzi Man, Bernie Madoff, Thief.
Bernie Madoff, that ball of slime
Has done spending time in jail,
He's hardly started serving his time
For fraud on a madly massive scale.
But Bernie's sentence is at expiration.
He ripped people off for his own ends,
He left a trail of Madoff bad debts behind,
He bilked clients and milked dear friends,
Every one a poor rube to be robbed blind.
So much for his trustworthy reputation.
He was sentenced to three lifetimes in clink,
Judged deserving of serving 150 years,
Time enough to take stock, stop and think...
What fresh Hell awaits as Eternity nears?
It's time for a soul-searching conversation.
Alas, poor Bernie, did he did try to cut a deal?
Offer Satan up his soul, or a majority share?
But in certain cases that offer holds no appeal,
A peep into some hearts shows... nothing there.
Any ex-client knows that's no Revelation.
As Bernie breathes his last in his lonely cell
Does he pray St. Pete swallows his sob story?
The ol' silver tongued devil tells a tale so well;
Or will Bernie be the richest soul in Purgatory?
So ends Bernie's short incarceration.
Bernie lived the rich Ponzi scheme dream
Now life in a pokey cell is a poor way to live,
The debt he owes he knows he'll never redeem,
What a pity bankrupt Bernie had only life to give.
It's back to the bottom for Bernie if you're into reincarnation.
Half Cocked Excuse.
A police patrol pulled over Daunte Wright-
For those who Protect and Serve us right-
Well trained long serving front line cops-
The latest of many routine traffic stops.
But this young man tried to break free,
Now, why would a young black man flee?
When Minneapolis's finest uphold the code?
Where George Floyd died, just down the road?
But a long serving cop stopped him!
A quick blast of Taser from Officer Kim!
Umm, somehow she pulled a gun not a Taser,
A mystifying mistake that continues to amaze her.
Now Officer Kim hides behind the scenes, gone on leave,
Daunte is gone too, leaving his family to openly grieve,
Kim's sheltered and protected behind the Blue enclave
But Daunte takes her mistake to his cold lonely grave.
(Little humour in my offering today. Apparently Officers put their Tasers on their less favoured side. So when they whip out their weapons they won't mix up the Taser with the gun. Wouldn't wanna confuse those two, would one? And surely a good cop knows wrong from right, left from right? Or am I naively mistaken in that belief too?)
We've expanded your ol' local Seven-Eleven,
Now we're ready for action twenty-four-seven,
We're here for your beer'n'snacks and cigarettes
But we won't extend you a tab or hold your debts.
'Sir, if you don't see what you want, just ask
But inside I'd rather you not wear that mask-
Oh; in light of your sideways Glock I now recall
In special circumstances we extend credit to all!'
My very first night of working dusk till dawn
And I'm already lookin' deathly pale and drawn,
In all my long days of working the seven till three
The one denying charging daylight robbery was me.
I called it in... eventually the cops rolled out,
That consistent diet of donuts helps, no doubt,
They began the sit-down-at-the counter interview,
They had free coffee, a whole jelly roll, but not a clue.
The jelly rolls quick demise cut the interview short,
Perhaps they'd had their fill of filling in their report?
They departed, snagging some Snickers without paying-
A five-fingered discount or more evidence in the weighing?
As my little corner of the world turns dark
I glare out at the shadily deserted car park,
Torn between leaving out the Welcome mat
And standing by the door with a baseball bat.
I used to spend all my given days a'waiting to serve
But that empty cash register shows I've lost my nerve,
My faith in customer relations- blown away, I can't deny,
Hoping every rattly banged-up ol' Cutlass quietly drives by.
I must just admit my shopkeeping days are done
If I can't trust the driver, or the dude riding shotgun,
This prime retail location looked fine in the light of day
Now here, due to Saturday Night Specials, crime does pay.
(‘Inspired’ by another news report on, yes, yet another armed robbery. Call it ‘Kim’s Convenience Store’ for the morbidly cynical and gun-shy.)
The impeachment trial of Don's January actions
Is seen vastly differently by the two rival factions,
Democrats are all for piling on now departed Don-
They want him impeached and legally real real gone.
Republicans are all too happy to forgive and forget-
Stirring up Trump's mad mob can still cause regret,
Evil is seen heard and said, but they'll keep on denying,
Those simple silent Republican jurors are hardly trying.
Since Donny and Rudy don't do the ol' business no more
Don's lawyers walk in, speak briefly, then run to the door,
Yet 'nother team of peachy keen lawyers are called in by Don,
Sit down, sift through the evidence, look appalled and get gone.
The best of lawyers powers can be negated
When the evidence rests, so heavily weighted.
It's a rare day indeed a lawyer will find a client indefensible,
When scruples long put behind scream 'this is reprehensible,'
Now two more of his latest greatest sign on to right his wrong,
Quick, place your bets, its short odds they'll be gone before long.
When it's a case of nothing to win, everything to lose
Let's face it, a plea of insanity's the best you can use.
Patriotic Republicans proudly boast
'Law And Order' first and foremost,
So, pray, what kind of sense must they be making
Of the latest gang Hell-bent on Housebreaking?
Law Abiders who found it oh so concerning
When Grand Old businesses were burning?
Cries about dark matters to be be silenced with no discourse,
Blind justice must be meted out with swift and undue force!
But when Patriots wave the barred flag,
Protecting the bad name of Fort Bragg?
But, by God when they believe they speak for all the nation???
Christ, then you should hear their Righteous indignation!
Flaunting their colours on the street,
Glass breaking under stamping feet?
Chanting and frightening the frail and defenceless?
Invading property, beating dutiful police senseless?
When you do the Capitol crime
Shouldn't you do Capital time?
And since we're passing comment on Capital punishment-
It's favoured by the current outgoing inciteful President.