Category Archives: Lawyers

Harvey W gets the justice his infractions and actions so richly deserves. Not a dry eye in the courtroom.

Justice Done, In The End.

White-knuckled and gripping his well-worn walker
Stands the feared and infamous Hollywood stalker,
His attorneys trust this prop he theatrically clutches
Will elicit a sorry response in all it innocently touches.

When Harvey hears his hefty sentence
Does he hang his heavy head in repentance?
His lawyers disappointment they cannot conceal,
They definitely foresee a long and comprehensive appeal.

Harvey clutches at his chest as the pains start
Can’t his accusers and victims have a little heart?
So Harvey’s off to Hospital, put on observation and a drip
In the tender mercies of a cold-hearted nurse with an icy grip.

While the Judge adjourns for a well-deserved lunch
Harvey’s legal team swiftly get their briefs in a bunch,
Of Harvey’s innocence none harbour one ounce of doubt,
Honor bound to fight tirelessly on- until his riches run out.

Lying, crying, white knuckles gripping the gurney,
Wishing he had taken the Go-straight-to-Jail journey,
Suffering the indignity of those infernal hospital robes
Cursing as his smiling heavy-handed nurse internally probes.

 

©Obbverse

 

In Christchurch we have had our troubles, Lord knows. Earthquakes, the odd bush fire, mosque attacks, all manner of tribulations. Ah, but one short decade on from the quakes, look at the progress we’ve made… Are making.

I Saw.

I recall it was nigh on ten years ago
When a mighty earthquake laid the old town low,
Even our Goth thick Cathedral fell to pieces-
Why, my wonder in Gods protection never ceases.

Rather than pass the collection plate
The good and faithful would call on AllState,
And lo, the parishioners put in their claim,
But no, AllState said ‘God acting up is to blame.’

Bishop and congregation began to pray-
Sometimes You work in a damn peculiar way-
If the Churches insurance claim gets denied
In times of trouble surely God should provide?

But Gods flock stand as a house divided,
What to do when the cheque is provided?
To replicate the folly they’ve always known?
To roll up their sleeves and roll away the stone?

Yea, for years lawyers and the devout
Have both fought about putting a hand out,
Short tempered preachers continue to rail,
Long winded lawyers find more devilish detail.

All the while the Cathedral sits there,
A tumble-down godforsaken rotten nightmare,
The font is awash in dandelions and nettles,
While factions moan, the ruin groans and settles.

Stray cats wander through the pews, row upon row,
Through broken stained glass a cold wind doth blow,
This habitat for cats gives one pause to think-
Gods house must harbour one Hell of a stink.

Finally, when the filthy lucre is disbursed
The Church Council thinks- (there’s always a first,)
After years of genuflectual prayerful thought
They’ll rebuild- pending a leeengthy builders report.

This rebuild requires more than a dab of mortar,
True, the riven roof does turn rain into holey water,
But when Gods congregation look up on high
It would be nice not to see Your sky. And stay dry.

Behind rusty chain link moulders a pile of rubble;
Is resurrecting it worth all this blessed time and trouble?
It would take a miracle and a fortune to be raised,
Or, God willing, another earthquake so it can be razed.

There’s funds been raised to re-raise the roof
But this lofty rebuild will still prove insurance proof,
Best bring in a wrecking ball and end the debate,
Drain the water, toss in the towel, write off the slate.

This sunny Sunday I struck off on a stroll uptown,
The sodden sight and site only served to bring me down,
Up high in yon rafters rafts of pigeons coo and sit,
Who wishes to be worshipful, knee deep in poo and shit?

 

 

©Obbverse

Texas, a law unto itself; guns, religion, rights, and an Attorney General who makes you get down on your knees and ask ‘Why, in the name of all that’s Holy, why?’

The Arms Of Jesus.

You don’t want to mess with the Lone Star state,
They don’t believe in listening to illiberal debate,
They have faith in a President and God being great,
They stick to their guns, say their piece- and shoot straight

There, their view on life is conservative,
There a God-fearing life you better live,
Where if, for public office you hope to stand
You have to have an NRA permit in your hot hand.

Now, they have an Attorney General, name o’ Ken,
Once a highfalutin lawyer a pric– prince amongst men,
He swears by commandments delivered way back when
Though in Texas ‘Thou shalt not kill’ scrapes in at number ten.

Now good ol’ Ken wants to bring guns into church-
Be like good ol’ times, back at the good ol’ John Birch-
There’s nothing like feeling ones faith being bolstered
Than a pistol pressed to your heart, shoulder holstered.

Soon at church you can sing to Him, do the Mass,
Hope like hell the hymn don’t strain the stained glass,
There, while others pray you must just let the sermon pass,
On alert for an armed invader intruding, ready to cap his ass.

But Kens legislation isn’t the blessing that it seems,
Taking arms into Gods house is taking it to extremes,
Has Ken miss-heard His word, or skipped the Lesson?
Or is he knee deep in the service of Smith and Wesson?

A happy new year to one and all. But it’s no holiday to have to work over the holidays, according to some.

Shut Down Till New Year.

Don sits in the dark White House alone and reminisces
Far from his Mar-a-Lago home and his loving missus,
Thinking of what good deeds he’s accomplished in ’18,
Then, of what a wondrous year it could have been.

He turned up the rhetoric at all his rallies
And turned his back on all of our allies.

Those wise-as advisers who came in, so highly vaunted
Left, at his disposal, eyes wide, downcast or haunted,
He’s disgusted his once trusted Lawyer keeps sayin’ he’s lying,
And just why must my learned counsel Mueller keep prying?

I’m all in favour of free speech
But I don’t care to hear ‘impeach.’

Back in ’16 I made a solemn promise I have yet to fulfill,
To build my wall and hand Mexico the six-billion-dollar bill,
It grieves me greatly, friends and neighbours, if I may say so,
To get El Presidente’s middle finger but not one single peso.

Hopefully, soon, good government will resume
Even allowing for the elephant in the room.

What? All change at the White House legal team- again? Ah well, Donald is chafing to personally fix the legal system anyway.

The Law Is An Ass.

When Dons innocent dealings caused offence,
When he’d find himself in need of legal defence,
When he found the going getting pretty sticky
He’d call Mr Fix-it Cohen, AKA Tricky Mickey.

But now Don feels incensed, full of fury and regret,
For his once trusted Cohort and Mr Mueller have met,
Mikey’s gathered up all his tapes, notes and diaries
And is helping Bob with his probing enquiries.

Now his top White House Counsel loyal Don McGahn-
Who for thirty hours of Bobs grilling defended his boss man-
Sweating through the gruelling Summer, backed against the wall-
Finds Don’s designated him to take retirement and the fall by Fall.

In solidarity Stefan Passantino, McGahns Deputy and protege
Has tendered his resignation, beginning the end of the day,
With evidence of dark White House intrigues proving so abundant
As Lawyer-in-charge of White House Ethics, obviously Stef’s redundant.