Category Archives: Media

A book launch for Bob Woodward, the doyen of political writers, followed by a measured critique from Don and those- still- at the White House.

Fear And Loathing In Mar-a-Lago.

It’s been two years since the rise of President Trump,
Now he’s experiencing the ol’ half-way slump,
Now the (FAKE!) polls maliciously confirm
All ain’t rosy in the White House at mid-term.

Don was handed Bob Woodwards book,
He unwrapped it with hands that shook
With an endearingly childish sense of anticipation,
He then bent forward to read Bobs dedication…

Don read the fine print with twitching lip,
Words traced by the Presidents fingertip,
Soon he realised the hurtful things Bob said-
After sounding out the words in his head.

With the maturity for which Don is known
He reached for the comfort of his flipping phone,
And after a furious CAPITALISED tweet
Found Bobs home number and pressed ‘delete.’

Upon hearing Dons cry of wounded pride
Ivanka rushed in to the Presidents side,
Jarred stood by, a look of fear in his eye
As unPresidential curses and papers flew by.

Don railed at Bobs charges, completely unfounded,
In a frenzy Donalds desk was dementedly pounded-
We could’ve all been facing an incendiary September
Had the desk top launch code been easier to remember.

With half the White House staff facing eviction
Sarah Huckabee denounces Bobs book as fiction,
While Don goes through Bobs book page by page
Balling ’em in the waste basket, incandescent with rage.

All Don humbly asks of those who ‘advise’ him
Is for ’em to subserviently agree to his every whim,
Don does not take criticism (or Fear) well, I’m afraid-
It’s been his single failing since, oh, Fifth Grade.

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Rudy Giuliani, Trumps lawyer, says of his oh-so-innocent client; ‘I’m not going to be rushed into having him testify so he gets trapped into perjury.’ Tell it to the judge, Rudy.

True Story.

Mr Giuliani, please tell us more,
Since you’re well practiced at law
Do tell us, how in your learned view
The truth appears to look to Don and you?

In all your lawyerly twists and turns
Are there times the ol’ truth still burns?
When did that fiery-eyed highly principled youth
Find cold hard cash trumps poor unvarnished truth?

Rudy’s found its quite a trial to remember,
In all conscience, when last stirred an ember,
The truth (and Don’s fee) weigh heavy on his shoulder,
But it truly pays to say ‘truths in the eye of the beholder.’

Should some shady lady claim an affair,
Feelin’ free to tell a tale the Media will share,
A gold-digger who’d delight in having her say in Court,
Don don’t lie, awake at night, her silence can be bought.

Any criticism Don finds unfair, unjust and tough to take,
So he he stretches facts by saying their facts are fake,
Till it dawned on Don ‘why not lie without shame?’
To him, truth or lies, they’re all the same.

 

The President might be thin-skinned but he’s a fighter. Now we sit back and see the shi… ahem, the fur fly.

Animus.

Omarosa was once Don’s dear and trusted adviser,
So what is it she’s done to make him despise her?
Well, since she’s been fired shes written a tell-all book,
A record of the colorful conversations in which he partook.

She says he used the nasty word, he denies all such dialogue
And now they’re rolling in the gutter fighting like cat and dog,
There sure ain’t no love lost between these old erstwhile friends
As manners go down the drain, into the swamp decorum descends.

Again the sly old dog digs into his trusty grab-bag of dirty tricks,
Don knows of old how to put the squeeze on low, lying chicks-
Yet his catastrophic brush with Bush on the bus gives him pause-
Best hope his big bad bark will cause her to withdraw her claws.

As Ivanka frenziedly re-edits every episode in ‘The Apprentice’
Shifty-eyed Ms Huckabee says Omarosa is non compos mentis,
But parroting weasel words leaves Huckabee unutterably sad,
She’s found it’s the old hound who is utterly barking mad.

Strange how what is just and right evolves in the modern Trump world. I suppose it must be all a matter of perspective, or do we rely on blind faith? Sweet Jesus, who’s to know?

Above And Beyond.

Lawyer Mike Cohen was, confidentialy, not just a Donald fan,
When it came to private peccadilloes he was Dons Mr Fix-it Man,
But his quietly recording Don’s costly affairs wasn’t part of Don’s plan,
Poor Don, its hard to believe a lawyer  could be so Machiavellian?

To Donald’s defence the Righteous leap-
His learned counsel should his counsel keep.

His year-long tryst with Karen old Donald can richly afford-
Two hundred grand, another Playboy plaything cheaply scored,
On Don carried, the same year Melania had baby Barron on board,
There’s no more damning words of a cheating bastard on record!

Fox TV showers invective on Mike, ‘he’s a deceitful creep’
While Trump treads water in the swamp, so dark and deep.

But twenty years ago you should’ve heard their moralistic mewling
When slick Willy left Monica high and dry by saying they weren’t fooling,
While the twists and turns of Billy-goats oral gymnastics were unspooling;
Funny how now fiery talk of a flesh new Hell for adulterers is cooling?

Now for the Right God fearin’ folk, talk is cheap,
About today’s gross infidelities, not one damn peep.

Had your fill of FAKE News? Well, remember, you heard it here First.

Stand up Comic.

Funnily I never thought the President was a funny ha ha bloke
But now the laugh’s on me, heh heh, and, seriously, l get the joke,
Hee hee, he’s hysterical, he changes history with one Master stroke-
He gathers the gullible, has a giggle to himself, then simply says ‘I misspoke.’

I guess I’m gonna have to eat my words. Don wuz right about this fake news stuff after all. Iran, citizenship, Obama, lies- hard to believe, I know!

Foxing Around The Edges.

From his Great nights sleep Don slowly stirred,
He switched on the TV, to the channel preferred,
Some find Fox’s hyperbole hilariously absurd
But the President truly takes ’em at their word.

What a fine story greets the Great One on waking,
A secret Obama/Iranian dodgy deal Fox is breaking,
What a deplorable dirty tale Don can see, in the making,
The candor of Fox’s journalism is, frankly breath-taking.

Ain’t it a pity for Don truth was all the fable lacked,
The news he gleefully Tweeted Fox can scarcely retract,
The whole sorry story was false, FAKE NEWS, in fact;
One wonders if Don wants those Fox fibbers sacked?

If you pick up that remote you might click onto something, something perverse and sick. It might well shake a God fearin’ soul to their very bones. No, don’t go there! That channel will show you stories that will make your eyes pop and your poor head spin.

Faux News.

Here at Fox the truth is told,
We cling to the standards of old,
We ALERT you of freedoms under attack,
We’re proud to have our great Presidents back,
We mean the right one, not the one who’s bla… Barrack.

Some say we’re racist, but to be fair
Only poor folk benefit from Obamacare,
Now, under our highly esteemed President
That money that would’ve been poorly spent
Can go to tax cuts for Dons deserving one percent.

Its for OUR flag and country that we stand-
For a place for (w)all in this, OUR Great land,
We listen- too patiently- to those who try us,
Damn loathsome Liberals, the unrighteous and impious,
Unpatriotic Lefty immigrant lovers who accuse us- US! of bias.