Category Archives: Melania Trump

A happy new year to one and all. But it’s no holiday to have to work over the holidays, according to some.

Shut Down Till New Year.

Don sits in the dark White House alone and reminisces
Far from his Mar-a-Lago home and his loving missus,
Thinking of what good deeds he’s accomplished in ’18,
Then, of what a wondrous year it could have been.

He turned up the rhetoric at all his rallies
And turned his back on all of our allies.

Those wise-as advisers who came in, so highly vaunted
Left, at his disposal, eyes wide, downcast or haunted,
He’s disgusted his once trusted Lawyer keeps sayin’ he’s lying,
And just why must my learned counsel Mueller keep prying?

I’m all in favour of free speech
But I don’t care to hear ‘impeach.’

Back in ’16 I made a solemn promise I have yet to fulfill,
To build my wall and hand Mexico the six-billion-dollar bill,
It grieves me greatly, friends and neighbours, if I may say so,
To get El Presidente’s middle finger but not one single peso.

Hopefully, soon, good government will resume
Even allowing for the elephant in the room.

Donald, his White House Christmas and me. Merry Christmas Mr President!

Screaming Memememe.

I’m sat at the White House, all alone,
Oh, poor pitiful me,
Just me, at Christmas, I with my phone,
Oh, poor lonesome me.

Being Prez ain’t all tinsel and glitter
Even for wonderful me,
All I have is my GreaT thoughts and Twitter
To accompany me…

Yes, I’m missing out on Melania’s home-cooked meal
Which disagrees with me,
But fortuitously, I’ve worked out a hell of a deal
‘Tween McDonalds and me.

This Christmas I’ve no Kelly, no Mattis
To stifle magnificent me
On troops, policy and other trifling matters,
Oh, impulsive impetuous me.

Here I’m free from their ever-ongoing discussion
That soooooo bores me,
They might as well talk turkey in Chinese- or Russian,
It’s all Greek to me.

Here I’m free of constraints from one and all,
Free to think of only me,
As governments shut down, and my stocks fall
I sit in wonder and wonder about me.

When Don read the opinion piece about his dysfunctional workplace he wanted answers, not anonymity.

There’s Where The Answer Lies.

Don heard reports his House was in a chaotic state,
News guaranteed to make him rail and fulminate,
So now Donald’s mulling over lie detector tests
To truly protect the priviliged Presidents interests.

Don wants a full and frank confession on record,
Either via the lie detector or preferably, water board,
And once he he finds out who is his anonymous source
It will all end in a tirade, tears, and then… in divorce?

The ways of Emmanuel and Don’s diplomacy are strange to behold. Their meeting and greeting had all the elements of a french farce.

International Men Of Mystery.

Is it not great to see the blooming Bromance
Between the Presidents of the great States, and France?
First chummy handshakes, then Gallic hugs and air kisses
On cheeks that turned to receive more hits than misses.

My, don’t those two guys get on well?
There is a kinship there, can’t you tell?
As they clown around like kid and older brother
Their wives look quizzically on, one to the other.

Brigitte’s beginning to wonder if she’s lost her mystique,
Melania’s inclined to believe Dons Stormy denials after this week,
Now Mrs Trump and Mrs Macrom may call to console Mses Clinton and Merkel,
Their two jerks ain’t inclined to invite many woman into the Old Boys circle.

Donald on the down-low; Stormy Daniels getting the cash, McCabe getting the push. Who says Don is a petty President?

Lies In The Eyes Of The Beholder.

Donald was all for political leaks
In the elections frantic final weeks,
Then a whistle-blower was a patriot,
Now Donald is President, they’re not.

Since Donald’s butt is in the hot seat
All he does is bleat and Tweet,
Now Donald’s no whistle-blowers friend,
Demanding all this disloyalty must end.

Andy McCabe spoke out of turn
And is the latest one to learn
That Donald brooks no dissension
If you want to collect your pension.

Yes, it’s best for you to stay mute
About Donald and some massively cute
Woman he came accross on the golf course;
Don doesn’t want to cough up for a divorce.

No, best to keep that story hushed,
Don might emerge red and flushed,
When it comes to a marital moral lapse
Don is keen to keep it all under wraps.

Dons lawyer has done his expensive best
For Stormy to keep it close to her expansive chest;
Could Melania believe its all a storm in a double DD cup?
Don should’ve busted the bank to stop this going ti-… belly up.

 

Melania Trump wants to stop bullying? Irony doesn’t even come close.

Bully For Her!

From deep down in Melania’s good heart
The feeling slowly began to stir,
In her rarefied social world bullying must play no part;
How blindingly brilliant of her?

So she took it to her darling spouse
And ran her thought past him,
Don’s demonstration of communication in his White House
Saw that bright idea dim.

The PresiDon shows up in Texas to help out- for the second time. Ain’t the great State doubly blessed?

As Big As Texas.

Flying back home Don cast down an eye,
-As one does when in the sky, from on high,
Looking down on those tiny toiling peasants
Don truly felt they’d be buoyed by his presence.

He’d seen Corpus Christi and Galveston,
By Houston he’d felt his duty had been done,
But for once had his leaving been precipitous?
Could this devastating event also be serendipitous?

At the thought, a lump rose to his throat-
A photo op- and he’d almost missed the boat,
Sadly Texas had suffered terribly in the deluge;
Therefore chances of bolstering his image were HUGE.

Melania thought she was safely back on the ground
When Donald announced they were turning around,
Donald’s entourage of advisers broke into a cold sweat
Seeing yet another Donald Trump breath-taking pirouette.

Don’s going to show us he had the common touch-
There’s a thought that shouldn’t worry him overmuch-
Weird, how one who puts such store in what he’s worth
Wishes to show po’ down home folks he’s down to earth.

Those who said Don’s vain, shallow, proud and aloof
Will meet with Dons swift return and righteous reproof,
Imagine how good him tousling some poor tykes Afro looks?
Surely THAT’S got to get our guy into Someones good books?

After smiling and posing till his face hurts
Dons had enough of dealing with little squirts,
So he finds a private place to don his galoshes
And edges right up to where the floodwater washes.

There he stands, staring, brooding, in a brown study,
The water Harvey delivered looks cold murky and muddy,
When faced with a flood of epic, nay, of biblical proportions
Dons next step is bold, despite what that inner voice cautions.

As he realises he has to forgo his long held belief
Its a chilling moment for the Commander-in-chief,
With heavy heart he sees how swiftly his foot sinks,
‘No walking on the water yet,’ Don despondently thinks.