Category Archives: mortality

Late at night, trawling through the channels and I fell upon this tender offering from the past. So serious, so silly, so… If any fans feel distraught about this all I can offer is, ‘sorry- grow up.’

The Vampire Diatribes.

First Entry.

The full moon shone down, bright and clear
As she left the pub full of cider and good cheer,
When from out of the shadows ol’ Dracula did appear
She gave out a cry as down her thigh ran a…frisson of fear.

This sure put a dampener on the nights atmosphere.

The Count slid towards her with a lecherous leer,
She feared this was her dying day as he drew near,
As his fangs grazed her neck she whispered in his ear
Bitter words no salivating vampire ever desires to hear.

Immodest confessions no fair Catholic maid could volunteer.

She has developed quite the reputation round here,
Has an accommodating nature that’s sure to endear,
Her maidenhood hadn’t withstood her sixteenth year,
She’d long laid her honor to rest, and not shed one tear.

So while she’s lying safely abed, Drac’s crying in his bier.

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Another mad day at work. Sometimes and some days you wish you could be well shot of this sort of ….

Twenty-Four Hours, And Counting.

Three mass shootings in one day-
It’s just another day in the USA.

A mere five hospitalized in Syracuse?
That damp squib scarcely made the news.

Five injured in Middleton plus one dead perp-
Thank God he didn’t channel Wyatt Earp.

Four gone to glory in Maryland,
Unusually by a maids not-so-fair hand.

Yet another disgruntled employee with a gun
Hell-bent on making her last day a memorable one.

Living in the gun-tottin’ Land of the Free is GREAT;
The worry is surviving the workday without winding up late.

Three mass shootings in one day-
Sadly, just another day in the USA.

The day comes along for a maudlin thought or two. Such is life.

Long Slow Burn.

Spring brings thoughts of summer, tinged with regret,
For today is- was- the birthday of my brother Chet,
So I called in to work claiming, truthfully, an upset.

I drive the old roads we once biked way back when,
Them skies looked newer and bluer way back then
To two overgrown boys, so so far from being men.

I parked by the pool, old now, new then… to reminisce,
Of that hot endless summer, of the exquisite bliss
Of meeting Chets girlfriend’s sister, of a first kiss.

So we spent those days, young and tanned and strong
Not a care in the world the whole damn summer long;
Show me a healthy tan, and I’ll show you you’re wrong.

Ah, I somehow missed the passing of Burt Reynolds. So it’s a late eulogy to the late Burt.

Bye bye Burt.

It’s the final curtain for cool Cosmopolitan Bandit Burt,
The epitome of the seventies man, as your Mama can assert,
A twinkling eye, a cocked eyebrow, that mountebanks mustache-
Then and now he could elicit in the ladies a damn indecent hot flash.

The President honors one of his GOP fallen friends with a little flag waving. With friends like Don who needs eulogies?

True Colours.

When a mighty ‘Merican hero has passed
The White House flag stays at half-mast,
Till the last effuse eulogy has been expressed
And the fallen warrior is laid to his final rest.

It might fly for a day, could be a week
Before he goes to ground, so to speak,
But these days our bold new President
Is showing he’s above displays of sentiment.

Now, on Dons House, it flutters only half a day,
It’s petty and petulant, but ain’t that Dons way?
A new low, but the way this President’s carrying on
A dip of flag will do when it’s time up for Don.

John McCain and the president. Never got on then, not getting on now, even with one gone. Though, for once, Don seems lost for words.

Edgewise.

With the sad demise of John McCain
The President made his feelings plain,
A White House tribute he will not entertain.

Oh, he sent out his condolences with a tweet,
His hoary old ‘thoughts’n’prayers,’ short and sweet,
But a busy President has plans, so message complete.

Johns untimely passing causes Don a pang of remorse,
Don’s brooding that time, like money, is a finite resource-
Johns going’s gone and ruined his entire day at the golf course.

Aretha Franklin moves on. (If this too soon, as I suspect, Ma’am, I mean no disrespect.)

Detroit, Downbeat.

Up glides that big long black Cadillac,
Ms Franklin reposing silent in the back,
Gently, reverently the Caddy begins to roll,
One last slow ride for the Queen of Soul.

Let’s pray that that voice that soared
Isn’t now the sole preserve of the Lord;
Saint Pete’s impatiently awaiting her arrival,
He’ll be leading the chorus at her revival.

Now it’s only those blessed, high up above
Can join in with her on the freeway of love,
…Alas, we once had tickets but could not go,
Now, I know, we’ve got no earthly show.