Category Archives: Movies

The final curtain call for Doris Day. A lovely person, apparently, but her screen persona was quite, shall we say, twee?

YesterDay.

We say goodnight to Doris today,
At ninety-seven she’s faded away,
No more virtuous parts will Doris play,
Bye, Americas eternally virginal sweetheart.

Perpetually preppy peppy Doris Day,
No movie dared show her going astray,
Not the kind of girl to take a roll in the hay,
Always the sweet girl-next-door, never the tart.

‘No no no’ our Doris must always say,
No petting, no rucking up of the duvet,
No deflowering of Doris, no hint of foreplay-
Not even with Rock Hudson gayly playing his part.

Doris was forever doomed to portray
The gal who favoured pajamas over negligee,
The blonde who’d kneel before bed- and pray!
No impassioned puckering could prise her lips apart.

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Another morning of waking up with that dawning feeling you did something last night you now regret. (Thanks for the invite, Mike.)

No Body Likes A Lycanthrope.

What’s a poor werewolf to do
When his world and the moon turns blue?
As in this mind the lunacy surges
And the brain is beset by unsavoury urges?

I can’t help but prowl the night
And hope my bark’s worse than my bite,
But to my nature I’ve been true
And clearly bitten off more than I can chew.

This rare blood moon has ramped up my compulsion
And ‘neath its light I’m filled with revulsion,
When it comes to regrets, as Sinatra said, I have a few,
Its an issue, like this leg tissue, I’m working through

If I’m ever caught I’ll be Wormwoods bound
Or perhaps, more humanly, the Battersea pound?
My beastly hair-raising episodes I do deeply rue
So I’m keep ’em tightly leashed for a week -or two.

Spoiler alert not needed! I have a soft spot for old horror movies, but sometimes they do drag on. So, a few six word plot summaries.

Alien.
Kissy face huggers become bloodthirsty buggers.

Aliens.
Heroine arrives, burns aliens hives. Survives.

The Fly.
Taut time travel tale. Time flies?

Psycho.
Norman loves being a mummys boy.

Frankenstein.
Doctor at dead end. Shock horror!