Category Archives: Politics

Barnaby Joyce, Aussie Deputy PM and National Party leader resigns amid sexual conduct revelations. A man of high moral standards falls on his sword, sort of.

Bye Bye Barnaby.

Barnaby Joyce’s behaviour has been foul,
Impregnating his ex-press secretary Nikk.

Now the National leader’s tossed in the towel,
Those stains- on his character!- are gonna stick.

Some consider him to be a pain in the lower bowel
But he’s proved he’s just a prize prick.

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Barnaby Joyce is a true National treasure, a rare and engaging man of the land. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. But baby, this boy ain’t ever going to be voted ‘Father of the Year.’

Talking Into His Hat.

Privately Barnaby and Vikki do make a pretty pair;
Publicly Barnaby brazenly faces the public glare,
His amorous amoral view he is happy to share-
As a politician he wonders why his public should care
About his peccadilloes when they’re his private affair?

And so, what did we learn at school yesterday?

Second Sight.

What hunter, in the name of heaven
Goes out a ‘hunting with an AK47?

What sportsman, in the name of Jesus Joseph and Mary
Needs more firepower than a bloody mercenary?

Who, in the name of Gods ever forgiving son
Needs something of the caliber of a Gatling gun?

Just ’cause you’ve a Second Amendment don’t mean you cain’t
Think a little like Solomon and use common sense and restraint?

But asking the NRA for any kind of control is wildly optimistic,
Mention that and those butt-heads are apt to go postal ballistic.

A(nother) shooting at a ‘Merican school and the President knows who to blame and what to say. Also, what it pays not to say.

Default Setting.

Yet another school shooting in Florida leaves us numb,
From the President the prayers and platitudes come,
More fretting and flapping of Trumpian gums
Followed by a frenzy of twittering thumbs.

Don is rightly upset about what some crazed kid has done,
Though the conclusion he arrives at sure is a strange one,
Oh so many sorrowful words for lost daughters and sons;
And not one single syllable about the madness of guns?

Barnaby Joyce, Australia’s Deputy Prime Minister. Moral guardian, anti Gay marriage, a man of staunch moral principles and the Catholic faith. Alas, he’s only sub-human, after all.

Peoples Choice.

Barnaby Joyce is one hell of a guy,
Well, a hell of a politician, few can deny,
He has stepped out on his wife and four kids,
Blame ‘True Love’ not lust, for a career on the skids.

Will his conservative voters forgive his moral flaws?
Shouldn’t a Catholic living in carnal sin not give him pause?
Siring a secretary’s sprog out of wedlock’, he’s pushing it, rather.
Sadly, Barnaby can’t help it if his new kid has a bastard for a father.

Donald thought flying on Air Force One would be a breeze. Now he’s up there, running his trembling hands through his hair.

Swept Away In Style.

Donald has perfect hair of platinum gold,
Its a creation that’s a wonder to behold,
But as he boldly boarded Air Force One
All saw Male Pattern Baldness had begun.

The back of the great mans pate
Gleamed in a barren and hairless state,
His lustrous locks have long since thinned,
His careful comb-over, gone with the wind.

The only one worried his hair has gone
Is the ever youthful, even childish Don,
But you can guarantee, after today
Don’s investing in a toque, or a toupee.

As the stock market takes a bit of a dip and stockbrokers get a trifle twitchy, where is the voice of reason to allay all their fears? And ours.

Dow In the Dumps.

As the stock market hit astronomical heights
Donald loudly and proudly took bragging rights,
Came February First and the worm began to turn;
Walls and Wall Street falling cause Don grave concern.

You know The Donald’s feeling sick
When he turns down the rhetoric.

Suddenly Donald’s loquacious lip is zipped,
His air as morose as that at the family crypt,
Donald’s brown study is as silent as a tomb,
A place of rare quiet contemplation, we assume?

Donald is rarely at a loss for something to say,
But Trump stock falling takes his breath away.

When Don’s face and the Dow continued to drop
His self-congratulatory words trundled to a stop,
From the Oracle, the one true prophet comes ‘nary a peep,
Dons sycophants wonder how long he’ll let his dumbness creep?

With his ego though, the silence will be all too brief,
But hasn’t this pause come as a blessed relief?