Category Archives: religion

Christmas is coming- Jeez, already!- and all the sweet (and savvy) kids have sent their wants and needs to North Pole Enterprises. Lets see what apps- what ‘appens?

Off The Xmas List.

Would this long jolly December day never end?
All this kid craved was for the blessed night to fall,
I watched in impatience for the sun to descend-
How I’d like to get my hands on that clock on the wall.

Finally in the wee wee hours of Christmas eve
I hopefully strung up my XXL size Christmas stocking,
Murmuring ‘Santa please  don’t practice to deceive,’
After last year my once-solid faith in Him was rocking.

I lay abed replaying my plan of when Santa would descend;
No more milk and cookies left for when He deigned to call,
Now its eggnog, Christmas spirit, Bells 80 proof, special blend,
This kid is not above greasing the skids to get a decent haul.

Come Christmas morning and what did I receive?
From the mantle fluttered my stocking, empty, mocking,
It hurts to find your faith is based on make believe-
No more lists to Santa, that fat bastard I’m Facebook blocking.

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I read a passage or two the other day on how the zealots and moral guardians down here on Gods good earth can come to terms with the temptations of Trump. It seems almost all can be forgiven. Now, let us pray…

A Flipping Miracle.

Good God, I find it hard to believe those who do believe
That Donald Trump is part of Gods mysterious Master plan,
Those of blind faith who found a black president impossible to conceive
Yet can find little fault in this one, Gods Right White quite imperfect man.

Any conservative will admit he’s a philanderer,
But Sweet Jesus, Donald’s making a great nation,
And doth the Good Book not say, ‘to be human is to err?’
Let’s give Don the benefit of doubt (and a liberal translation.)

How the bloody righteous paw through chapter and verse,
Praying pardon for their (play)boys less than model behaviour,
Finding any blessed reason to praise a man Beelzebub would curse;
How Divine, stumbling on such a forgiving anti-Gay-Muslim-Refugee Saviour.

Sliding towards the edge, and things are getting flaky at the edge. The hope is to try to hold on and get to the other side, not slip over the edge.

The Man In The Mirror.

It’s winter and I’m of melancholy air,
Summer, months away leaves me in despair,
Cold indifference abounds, no-one seems to care,
Yes, I know, no-one said life was fair.

The Good Book leaves me painfully aware
That God doesn’t think I’m worth a prayer,
Every night is a dark sleepless nightmare,
A sunny morning countenance, all too rare.

I stand before the bathroom mirror and stare,
Reflecting back is a madman’s maniacal glare,
See the troubled eyes, the twisted tousled hair-
Don’t we two make an unprepossesing pair?

Yet our problems are mine alone to share,
And that depressing bastard isn’t going anywhere,
My fear is if he stays I’ll go completely spare-
Please change the mirror, I don’t care to see him there.

Aretha Franklin moves on. (If this too soon, as I suspect, Ma’am, I mean no disrespect.)

Detroit, Downbeat.

Up glides that big long black Cadillac,
Ms Franklin reposing silent in the back,
Gently, reverently the Caddy begins to roll,
One last slow ride for the Queen of Soul.

Let’s pray that that voice that soared
Isn’t now the sole preserve of the Lord;
Saint Pete’s impatiently awaiting her arrival,
He’ll be leading the chorus at her revival.

Now it’s only those blessed, high up above
Can join in with her on the freeway of love,
…Alas, we once had tickets but could not go,
Now, I know, we’ve got no earthly show.

Six word book summaries. I keep stumbling over these, and love the idea of them. So here’s a few, old and new, hopefully presented with a touch of humor.

Alice Through The Looking Glass.
Alice falls down, goes to Crazytown.

Moby Dick
Footloose old salt trailing whale tale.

Wuthering Heights
Cathys unhappy home, Heathcliffes moody manor.

Fifty Shades Of Grey.
Modern bodice ripper, boy maltreats girl.

Silence Of The Lambs
Hannibal tells Clarice a gristly story.

Frankenstein.
Dead End Doc, rejuvenates. Shock, Horror!

The Bible
Big Fellas BIG seller. (Popular Fiction)

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon.
Lost girl nightmare. Tough to bear.

It’s Not About The Bike (Early Lance Armstrong ‘inspirational’ bio)
Drug pedaling Tour De France loser.

The Three Musketeers
Three musketeers, add D’Artagnan, go fourth.

The soccer/football World Cup, England, the semi-finals, and finally, a reason to believe?

Getting The Cross In.

It was months and months of Sundays back I began to doubt
The words Father McEvedy would by rote routinely spout,
But this July St George has never seen anyone so devout,
For it feels the world is about to end
When your World Cup hopes depend
On England miraculously winning a penalty shoot-out.

So many years as a lapsed Catholic and an avowed atheist,
The cold comfort of the confessional, all too easy to resist,
Yet I’m rattling the old rosary, praying, hoping for an assist,
Perhaps He might help out Southgates squad-
Argentina don’t need a helping hand from God,
Good Lord, what better reason to prove You exist?

A Supreme Court judge resigns, allowing Don to choose his replacement and skew justice ever so slightly, conservatively speaking.

Good Old Christian Values.

It’s amazing what the Supreme Court can achieve
When the last vestige of moderation takes his leave,
Whatever dour sour pick Don picks the Court will Rightly receive
Their full complement of five God (and Don) fearing Sons of Eve.

Don’s impious Muslim  travel ban bias is easy to perceive
So it’s a particularly ‘Merican God to whom they will cleave,
But if you accept a virgin can miraculously spontaneously conceive
It does leave this peculiar Presidents pretences easier to believe.