Category Archives: Rugby madness

A sporting great moves on to that great big dressing shed in the sky. ‘Bye, Ferg.

Red And Black And Blue.

Fergie McCormick was hard as nails, tough as teak,
What carnage on the rugby field he would wreak,
Yet he had a charitable as well as a rambunctious streak,
There would always be
A card of sympathy
When you woke up sometime well into next week.

Australia fall to Scotland in international rugby, but in his mature fashion Coach Cheika has words of reasoned explanation. He’s developing a certain pattern in his speech patterns.

Coach Class.

When it comes to his Wallabies Cheika is fiercely protective,
Their unlucky defeats bring on a stream of Coach’s invective,
Likeable Michael knows who to blame for all these defeats,
Touch judges and referees all cheat, he plaintively bleats.

One must feel sorry for the Wallabies on their flight home,
After Scotland, has Mike developed Asperger’s Syndrome?
For his solemnly silent team the non-stop flight is wearing,
Listening to Motormouth Michael’s non-stop swearing.


That Fine Line.

Rugby player Ali Williams caught buying cocaine in France. Ali is a bit of a lad, but at thirty- five a touch of maturity might be in order. His mate, Aussie James O’Conner is another shining light of reason in the rugby world, so put these two bright sparks together and you get…

That Fine Line.

Out on the town go the bros,
Ali and O’Conner, once bitter foes,
But in Paris that old Anzac spirit shows,
The boys had something in common, I suppose?

Buy, try a little something, after the meal?
Only plain clothes gendarmes think it’s a big deal.

So off to court Ali goes,
The case against Ali evidently grows,
The ruddy face of his Lawyer floridly glows
With a rash of colourful excuses and purple prose.

But one look at His Honour would reveal
That his and O’Conners words hold no appeal.

Sentencing time, and down Ali’s cheek a tear flows,
His hand reached to his breast pocket– then froze,
Even someone as supremely silly as Ali knows
Now is not the time to blow your nose.


Sporting Decision.

A young talented Wellington rugby player is convicted of assaulting four people, two women, with the ‘help’ of his older brother. The esteemed judge opts for ‘ a discharge without conviction’ from the charges because it could impact on his future career. Meanwhile one of his victims cannot work eight months on from the assault. And HE now can’t play rugby either . Ah, well justice has been served. Sort of.

Sporting Decision.

That fine rugger player must rue the day
He drove into the maul,
For what’s commonplace on the field of play
Is common assault in the Mall.

A young lion thrills to the chase
Rushing, headstrong, at a furious pace.

Once you’re caught, its time to pay,
Up in Court, scrub up, suit up, lets play ball;
‘One rare mistake,’ his lawyers say;
So what is the touchy-feely judges call?

‘Discharged WITHOUT conviction, Your Grace?’
The Defence is delighted, especially in this case.

What says our blessed Union, pray?
Well fu…fundamentally nothing at all,
The one query of those men of clay
Is under which rock to crawl.

They may have a new back to replace
But look for a spine and see no trace.

Kid, take a sabbatical, or a working holiday?
Or take the rap and take the fall?
Take a look in the mirror and you may
Want to push that fool through the wall.

It’s time to buck up or he will face
Spending time in a confined space.