Category Archives: Russian collusion

A happy new year to one and all. But it’s no holiday to have to work over the holidays, according to some.

Shut Down Till New Year.

Don sits in the dark White House alone and reminisces
Far from his Mar-a-Lago home and his loving missus,
Thinking of what good deeds he’s accomplished in ’18,
Then, of what a wondrous year it could have been.

He turned up the rhetoric at all his rallies
And turned his back on all of our allies.

Those wise-as advisers who came in, so highly vaunted
Left, at his disposal, eyes wide, downcast or haunted,
He’s disgusted his once trusted Lawyer keeps sayin’ he’s lying,
And just why must my learned counsel Mueller keep prying?

I’m all in favour of free speech
But I don’t care to hear ‘impeach.’

Back in ’16 I made a solemn promise I have yet to fulfill,
To build my wall and hand Mexico the six-billion-dollar bill,
It grieves me greatly, friends and neighbours, if I may say so,
To get El Presidente’s middle finger but not one single peso.

Hopefully, soon, good government will resume
Even allowing for the elephant in the room.

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Donald, his White House Christmas and me. Merry Christmas Mr President!

Screaming Memememe.

I’m sat at the White House, all alone,
Oh, poor pitiful me,
Just me, at Christmas, I with my phone,
Oh, poor lonesome me.

Being Prez ain’t all tinsel and glitter
Even for wonderful me,
All I have is my GreaT thoughts and Twitter
To accompany me…

Yes, I’m missing out on Melania’s home-cooked meal
Which disagrees with me,
But fortuitously, I’ve worked out a hell of a deal
‘Tween McDonalds and me.

This Christmas I’ve no Kelly, no Mattis
To stifle magnificent me
On troops, policy and other trifling matters,
Oh, impulsive impetuous me.

Here I’m free from their ever-ongoing discussion
That soooooo bores me,
They might as well talk turkey in Chinese- or Russian,
It’s all Greek to me.

Here I’m free of constraints from one and all,
Free to think of only me,
As governments shut down, and my stocks fall
I sit in wonder and wonder about me.

Straight outta the mid-terms. Battlin’ Jeff Sessions, straight out the door.

Jeff Joins The Jobless.

Jeff has gone and done as as Don requested,
His resignation letter Sessions dutifully tends,
He’s done and gone as Don’s looong suggested,
He’s fucked off  farewelled all his old friends.

Donald wanted to be protected, not arrested
And who knows what Bob Mueller intends?
Jeff’s a commodity in whom Don invested
So Jeff’s unjustifiable recusal truly offends.

What? All change at the White House legal team- again? Ah well, Donald is chafing to personally fix the legal system anyway.

The Law Is An Ass.

When Dons innocent dealings caused offence,
When he’d find himself in need of legal defence,
When he found the going getting pretty sticky
He’d call Mr Fix-it Cohen, AKA Tricky Mickey.

But now Don feels incensed, full of fury and regret,
For his once trusted Cohort and Mr Mueller have met,
Mikey’s gathered up all his tapes, notes and diaries
And is helping Bob with his probing enquiries.

Now his top White House Counsel loyal Don McGahn-
Who for thirty hours of Bobs grilling defended his boss man-
Sweating through the gruelling Summer, backed against the wall-
Finds Don’s designated him to take retirement and the fall by Fall.

In solidarity Stefan Passantino, McGahns Deputy and protege
Has tendered his resignation, beginning the end of the day,
With evidence of dark White House intrigues proving so abundant
As Lawyer-in-charge of White House Ethics, obviously Stef’s redundant.
 

Harley-Davidson just can’t win when going head-to-head with Hardly Rational.

Low Rumbling Grumbling Sounds.

For half a century those Harley guys have gamely tried
To hold back the unending Oriental copy-cat Cruiser tide,
Fakes of their venerable V-twin, a design so old and ossified
It deserves to be seen in ‘Antiques Roadshow’, or Formaldehyde.

Yet the President sees this decrepit anachronism as a thing of pride
So, the Harley Board is finding dealing with Don a wild, not easy ride,
No, Don don’t want their icon screwed together anywhere but Stateside
(Putting Putin’s plan for producing Harley-Davidsons in Petrograd aside.)

Had your fill of FAKE News? Well, remember, you heard it here First.

Stand up Comic.

Funnily I never thought the President was a funny ha ha bloke
But now the laugh’s on me, heh heh, and, seriously, l get the joke,
Hee hee, he’s hysterical, he changes history with one Master stroke-
He gathers the gullible, has a giggle to himself, then simply says ‘I misspoke.’

Donny and Vladimir, sitting in Helsinki, this spells the end of D e m o c r a c y. Or, put another way, the first rule about Liars Club is there is no Liars Club. (But there is.)

Vlad To The Bone. (Apologies to George Thorogood.)

When two princes amongst men met up in Helsinki
Both promised, vowed, swore a swear with extended pinky
To put aside that old veil of dark secrecy, so deep, black and inky;
If Vlad’s pants look uncomfortably hot, don’t Dons seem a whiff stinky?

In a most comradely fashion the two privately conversed,
When they emerged into the light, all dark clouds dispersed,
Donald smiling dimly,Vladimir’s smile smug, satisfied, fit to burst,
How did Vlad contrive to convince Don to put ‘Meric- err… Russia First?