Category Archives: satire

An Alabama Ford dealership offer you an unholy trinity of extras. Are you ready and all tricked out for the highway to heaven?

Backfire.

Let us give our thanks to our sweet Lord
For the sweet deal goin’ down at Chatom Ford,
Buy any fine Ford, Focus, Ranger, Rapture or 4 x 4
And here at Chatom Ford we say whoa, there’s more…

You get a ‘Merican flag, a bible and a gun,
Damn, it’s a deal hotter than Hel-the Alabama sun,
Won’t that flag look purty waving on your pickup?
And that gun is sure to come in handy on any stickup.

But you won’t find me singin’ the good Fords praises,
Ever since I trashed my Pinto all Fords can go to blazes,
I won’t believe a blessed word Chatom Ford may say,
God willing, I’ll keep rolling in my Chevrolet till Judgement Day.

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We welcome the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere. Even when I try to escape into fantasy I find it’s still a cold cold world. Oh yeah, spoiler alert.

Chilled Out.

It’s a cold day in June and winter is here,
Over the land a chill bitter wind doth blow.

Now my nights drag on and on and I fear
This last winter of discontent only adds to the woe.

My hopes for the future faded, finale, mid-year,
Winter’s come and gone, and I’m soooo over Snow.

 

 

A dozen die in a shooting at Virginia Beach. Time to reach for the tissues and the cliches again.

That Same Old Familiar Feeling.

Sweet Jesus, just as one gun-nut falls, another fills the breech;
They’re sending their heart-felt condolences to Virginia Beach
Where yet another gun-totin’ disgruntled worker went ballistic,
God, aren’t these constant thoughts ‘n’ prayers sounding ritualistic?

 

The Rolling Stones front man goes under the knife for a little bit of maintenance. Time waits for no man, Mick my boy.

Surgery For The Ol’ Devil.

Old Sir Mick just keeps on a’rolling,
Geriatric Mick prefers jiving to strolling,
But now, in his seventies his step’s begun to stutter
His high-living past has set his stony heart all a’flutter.

A dickey heart valve needs refurbishment
For Micks old ticker’s taken some punishment,
There’s no doubt when it comes to wear and tear
Micks plucky organ’s done more than its fair share.

Now the old pump is suffering from overuse,
But in Micks case it sure ain’t down to self abuse,
Cigarettes and bad habits have contributed to his current issues
But his old wives and girlfriends won’t be reaching for the tissues.

To Harry and Meghan, a new Royal arrival, by the name of Archie, Earl of Dumbarton. What’s in a name anyhow?

Whatshisname.

Welcome, new princeling, to the Windsor fold,
What name and title shall the royal child hold?
Will the good Harry and fair Meghan’s first born
Be stuck with an old name, staid and well worn?

Since the kid is a distant seventh in line to the throne
Can’t a little laissez-faire latitude to lineage be shown?
Georgy, Jamie and Eddy do sound stuffy and starchy
But surly Liz will arch an eyebrow to a regal Archie?

It seems almost willfully comical to choose a moniker
So commonly associated with Betty and Veronica,
But if that’s the Hipster name Harry has set his heart on
He’ll be lumbered with Archie, the poor little Dumbarton.

The President sees Joe Biden throw his hat in the ring and turns on a bit of the old charm. Don just won’t respect his elders, cheeky impetuous youth that he is.

Kidult.

Don says he’s vibrant, strong and young,
He modestly stated this in his self -critique
Earlier this week.

To this childish delusion Don has long clung,
Yet most view our old boy as past his peak,
Practically, an antique.

Don has his guilt-edged golden tongue
Deeply, firmly wedged in his- cheek.
So to speak.

Manchester United V Everton; A tough to swallow result for us poor Devils.

Red-eyed And Blue. (Sorry Wilco, I appropriated your title.)

Manchester United versus Everton?
The trip to Goodison should be a good one;
This is one Scouse team the Devils can beat,
Ah, downing those Toffees will taste sooo sweet.

But the game did not go United or Ole’s way,
The Reds ‘play’ left Ole lookin’ old and grey,
This four goal loss leaves poor Ole ashen faced
And Red faced Mancunians with a bitter taste.