Category Archives: Soccer

Premier League letdowns; Tough times for the dogged, game but toothless Terriers of poor Huddersfield Town. Commiserations- of a kind- from a Crystal Palace fan.

Down In Hudddersfield Town.

Huddersfield Town’s future, so bright last June
Finally faded at Crystal Palace this dull afternoon,
It’s bound to be a silent, sad, sombre- and sober- coach trip
As the Terriers head back up North, down to the Championship.

By Xmas, Town knew it was gonna be tough at the top
But it’s a lot rougher when you’re the first team to drop,
To survive in the Premier League is a simple numbers game;
When Town tote up their losses all it amounts to is a crying shame.

If only Huddersfield’s brittle defence had been stronger
Or if their busy goalkeepers arms had been a little longer,
Or if they had a striker- or two- to pop in an occasional winner
The Terriers season mightn’t be finishing up a total dogs dinner.

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The magical golden run of Crystal Palace Football Club in the FA Cup dries up at Watford. (Watford 2, Palace 1.)

Shake It Off.

I’m not saying I’m a religious man,
I’m more a godless Crystal Palace fan,
But trying to follow Hodgson’s odd squad
Leaves me believing there’s a devil, swear to God.

Off we went to Vicarage Road,
On the train up we drank- a load,
Arriving in a giddy state of inebriation,
But our loss meant ’twas premature celebration.

We’d gone into the Hornets nest and been sorely stung,
Now I stand, swaying, with heavy heart and head hung,
Thinking of how, again, our dreams of an FA Cup final
Swirl away, down the drain of a poxy Watford urinal.

Crystal Palace play host to Brighton And Hove Albion. Old friends always find succor and comfort at Selhurst Park. (Palace 1, Brighton 2.)

Home Truths.

Oh, how the Crystal Palace fans love to roam-
They know there’s little joy in playing at home.

Eagles fans and players revel in their travelling ways
Since Selhurst Park offers ’em cold comfort these days.

The staff at Selhurst Park remain convivial and charming
But heaving out the welcome mat to Hove is most alarming.

And so goes the game, Deja vu, Palace do what we do best,
Letting Brighton Albion linger on, like an unwelcome guest.

Selhurst Park is becoming an Away teams Field of Dreams,
Surely we’re taking ‘charity begins at home’ to extremes.

Premier League football, Leicester v Crystal Palace at the King Power stadium. Match report, written with a bit of bias and a ton of poetic licence. (Leicester 1, Palace 4)

Foxes In A Hole.

Off to Leicester Palace glumly go
Hoping to put up a gallant show,
Hoping to cling on for a goalless draw,
Roy’s boys can’t hope for much more.

But Palace take joy in the unexpected,
Bathshuayi sticks in a goal- deflected,
But its equaled by on-the-spot Evans
As Goalie Guaita swears at the heavens.

The Foxes smelt blood at the King Power,
Then the smell of success began to sour
When Wilf nipped past his poor defender-
Was he ripped into by Kasper the goal tender!

Then Jonny Evans was penalised
Hero to villain, transformation realised;
Keeper Kasper, not a ghost of a chance-
Another goal, another kick in Puels pants.

Then came the final twist of the tail,
For the Foxes manager, the final nail,
Zaha goes forth, another cruel Puel blow
And back to London Roy’s boys joyfully go.

Premier League football gets tied up in the FA cup. Crystal Palace v Grimsby Town, seen through increasingly cynical eyes.

Not Much Cup.

A cup tie at Selhurst Park agin Grimsby Town,
Two minutes in and poor Town are one man down,
How the Eagles crowd did crow,
The Grimsby fans cry ‘Oh fu- Oh no!’
For Grimsby it’s now backs to the wall
While Palace aim for goals, for one and all.

For surely, this week at Selhurst the goals would flow…
We watched a grim nil-all draw, till with two minutes to go
After spurning chances galore
Luckily a Palace player did score;
Happily, for goals at Palace are precious and few,
And, Hallelujah, he even scored at the right end too.

Premier League football, first game 2019, the excitement never ends… Wolverhampton Wanderers V Crystal Palace.

Wandering Away From Home.

‘Twas at Wolverhampton, on a night crisp and clear
Crystal Palace kicked kicked off the first game of the new year,
But Wolves played like a pack of mongrels on this night,
They huffed and they puffed but they showed little bite.

But neither were the Eagles soaring,
This game was tame, tedious and boring.

If someone- anyone- wouldn’t score for us soon
We’d join in with the Wolves fans and howl at the moon,
In the last ten minutes Palace score not one goal but two,
But it’s been no walk in the park watching Wolves lose at Molineux.

We won, yet I feel sorry for Wolves all the same,
We had all endured a dog’s breakfast of a game.

Premier League, football, Christmas gifts, and a prayer for whats important at this time. From a Crystal Palace fan’s perspective, at least.

Christmas Hangover.

What an inspiring result at Man City the Palace fans saw,
But we’re back to reality after Cardiff’s Nil-all draw,
Some say the Welsh were plucky,
Some say Palace were unlucky,
Cardiff came with a rear-guard ponderous, leaky and porous,
Hell, those Bluebirds would- should- be easy pickings for us.

But the Palace sharp-shooters hit both the bar and the post,
They tend to clobber the woodwork more often than most,
Gawd, they hit the bar, they miss the ricochet,
We wouldn’t really be celebrating Christs birthday;
Surely after the Man City Miracle, Lord it would please us
If someone nailed in a couple of crosses. (Apologies to Jesus.)