Going shopping in a cramped supermarket? You’re game.

Still Rankling.

In passing, on my way to the tennis court
'I'll quickly pop into the shop,' so I thought,
I slid smoothly into Kroger's parking lot
Not knowing I'd be dealt a passing shot.

There they were, cluttering up Kroger's entrance aisle,
Proud Mom with stopped shopping cart and fixed smile,
There she was, a cute munchkin with her pretty dolly
Mimicking Mommy with her lilliputian shopping trolley.

I politely asked Mom if she might move it to let me pass,
I could've- should've- just told her to move her ass,
But I was raised by my mother to be nice and kind
And not to say what was foremost in my mind.

She clutched her trolly, a hard look in her eye
And I knew this madam wouldn't let this go by,
Grimly she pushed the trolly challengingly in my path-
Seems I'd provoked this Mother of all Karen's wrath.

Behind me my following shoppers grew pushy, restive,
It clearly wasn't me that said something suggestive,
But in a flash her eyes and trolly met mine
And it was she, not I who crossed the line.

It was a classic case of push cart goes to shove
But petty-minded petulance I can rise above,
So I asked her, once more, I asked her pretty please
If she might allow me free access to the deep freeze?

She told me to move my basket- or so I thought she said,
As it transpired she'd call me a by-product of the unwed,
That's a downright dirty lie, I know this for sure,
Though Ma says I was four months premature.

Some spoilt sweet kids are just hard to get through to
But for this progeny it was 'see Mommy do, kiddy do,'
And this wee precious poppet, bless her heart
Tried to smash my ankle with her kiddy cart.

I looked down, pained, at the little moppet
Awaiting Mommy to say 'Sweetie, stop it,'
But Treasure looked neither tearful or fearful
And Mommy Dearest gave me a right earful.

I did my best to quietly ride out the damned pain
But then the wee Kikamora rammed me again!
I'd love to say I civilly held my tongue, but gosh, by golly
Everyone behind me loudly cheered my serve and volley.


©Obbverse

Unclassified notes from an Oval Office; The Ford, Dearborn office, not the Pennsylvania Avenue one.

(Dark humour, a mild warning.)

The Flawed Concept.

Mr Ford viewed the tiny cars flooding in with fear,
Gutting sales of the gas-guzzlers Henry held so dear,
So into the new geeko-friendly no-smoking atmosphere
Henry trotted out his Pinto, with its pertly kicked-up rear,
So cheeky, chic and cheerful- and so cheap to engineer.

His Pinto putting dents in imports sales elicited a grin,
But making a profit on compacts means making 'em thin,
So, skinnier welds here, there, replace heavy steel with tin;
Ford's salesmen lightly told customers 'take 'er out for a spin,'
Is emphasising gas mileage over driver safety such a sin?
In harness with rising gas prices, sales of the sippy Pinto rose,
In his boardroom see, along with his profits, how his smile grows?
Until a rash of memos brought about a wrinkling of Henry's nose;
It's safe to say a Pinto's economy is great, as far as gas milage goes
But in a tail-ender one is not safe, as any crash dummy knows.

Was it a question of saving lives or saving on the cash?
Placing a gas tank waaay back was more dumb than rash,
The Pinto was a pain in the ass when in a nose-to-tail smash;
Percolating Pintos were hotly looked at by Police, Fire and Crash-
Hank's cheap-ass petty penny ante profits tanked, and in a flash.

(Mockery aside, a case of money over humanity. Apparently, for the sake of a few nickels and dimes per vehicle in producing these bombs cars Ford could have redesigned and alleviated the problem. Corporate cost-cutting at its best/worst. Ford lost a court case and paid through the nose.)

‘For Sale, Ford Pinto, cool retro classic, original Fire Engine Red paint.’

©Obbverse


The picture of Dorian Gray. Now, more than ever, not a pretty sight.

Yesterday's Man.

When folk reacquaint themselves with Mr. Gray
They look, stunned to see he ain't aged a day,
They ask if Dorian has found the elixir of youth?
But behind Gray's merry eyes lies an ugly truth.

Back in the old days when he was young, in fact
Dorian drew up quite the Mephistophelian pact,
He could live a libertine life where age took no toll
And all it would take was a worthless eternal soul!

This Faustian deal only a short-sighted fool would sign,
For a moment Gray's hand hovered on the bottom line,
It looked quite the bargain- to a damn fool lad of his age-
So he struck the devil's bargain, signed on the last page.

In exchange for his signature Dorian gets the picture,
Faust gets a hell of a deal, ironclad as Holy Scripture,
Faust lingering over every letter should've been a hint
That Dorian should've better reviewed the small print.

Then Dorian lived the high life, and life rolled along,
All wine, women and song, doing everything wrong,
Years passed, as in the looking glass he aged not at all,
But before too long he turned his portrait to face the wall.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so it's said,
Now Dorian looks at his rendering with daily dread,
A portrait ageing in Dorian's place sounds far fetched
But it troubles him to see a fine face so deeply etched.

At days end, when Dorian looks back on his debauchery
Then what ghastly mistakes will the old roué and rake see?
A savagely ravaged face, facing an eternity of damnation;
And who signed off on fucking himself? self-fornication?


‘The devil with all that old technology. I’ve updated!’

©Obbverse

The US has a population of near 330 million and growing, except for the odd ‘accident.’ Yet no-one wants to show even a modicum of control.

Top Gun.

'Mericans sure do love their guns,
They're hellbent on law and order,
They think we're the crazy ones,
Completely armless, North of the border.

But most of us simply can't understand
Why they don't practice gun control?
You can have a hot gun in your hand
Even if you're a crazy lyin' criminal asshole.

Concerned about your stint in clink?
Worried about your upcoming arrest?
Thank God only the upstanding NRA think
There's no need for your character test.

A .50 caliber has always appealed?
Go out and and pick one up today!
You needn't keep your Colt concealed,
Just whip it out and blaze away.

But outside 'Merica the Great
Them Rights leave everyone else aghast,
'Merica's Number One, in every dang State-
Yep, in firearm deaths, World unsurpassed.

'Guns are part of our way of life'
Say the NRA, not in ironical jest,
'From the days when crime was rife,
From Tea Party through Wild Wild West.'

'Because it's our Right,' bray the NRA,
'To amass us a private arsenal,'
Just imaginin' being back in the day
Of the rootin' shootin' OK Corral.

400 million guns, the NRA say, all legally sold,
According to the lists they lovingly compiled,
It's peace of mind, to have and to hold-
One apiece for every man, woman and child.

Does the NRA truly think the entire Nation
Need to bear their own personal Kalashnikov?
Why bother US with futile peaceable negotiation?
Most members are rarin' for a Mexican stand-off.

Still the NRA say 'more guns the merrier,'
Its twisted logic, bound only to confound,
To me more guns sounds progressively scarier,
But to the NRA 'Zero Control' holds Holy Ground.

But surely no sane person would let fly
When everyone's armed to the teeth?
Only the crackpot NRA can live with that lie;
Its stone cold comfort to those laid beneath.

In the NRA's strange Land of the Free
They'll snuff out any gun control Bill,
Sovereign citizens, too short-sighted to see
Their sacred Rights lead to gross overkill.


©Obbverse

Wake up before your workaday mundane Monday commute and enjoy the company of our cheery six A.M. breakfast news team! Or not.

Groundhog Day Again.

'Good morning, Merrilee, what's happening in the news today,
What's trending, pray tell, what's going down in the greater USA?'
'Morning Mitch, well, it's much like yesterday's news, sorry to say,
Trials, tribulations, protests- oh, 'nother mass shooting by the way.'

'Oh Merrilee, this is a tragedy, so soon after yesterday's report?
It gives me pause to think how quick our lives can be cut short,
So let me take a moment to send out heartfelt prayers of support;
OK, moving along Merrilee- hey, what's new in weather and sport?'


(Yet another dark rather than light flippant offering. Sorry, but now it's no fun to wake up of a morning and start ticking off the latest mass shooting numbers- Indianapolis Fedex, April 15, Detroit, April 16, Columbus and La Place, April 17, Kenosha and Shreveport , April 18- Since when did mass shootings become an everyday occurrence? The numbers are all becoming quite mind numbing, aren't they?) 

©Obbverse

A peek into the mind-set of the politically ‘fair and balanced.’ All Righty then!

Straight To The Heart.

I've got my rights!!!
To my free speech,
I got my rights
You don't dare breach.

I've got my rights!!!
I don't gotta mask,
I got my rights
So don't dare ask.

I've got my rights!!!
To not be vaccined,
I got my rights-
Freedum won't be quarantined!

I've got my rights!!!
To cling to history,
I got my rights
To love Robert E. Lee.

I've got my rights!!!
They're etched in stone,
I got my rights
Leave my statues alone.

I've got my rights!!!
To wave my flag,
I've got my rights
To salute Braxton Bragg.

I've got my rights!!!
To be anti-vax,
I got my rights
To twist the facts.

I've got my rights!!!
So hold your breath,
I've got my rights,
Defend 'em to the death.

I've got my rights!!!
Let me tell you,
I got my rights
Particularly dear Amendment Two.

I've got my rights!!!
To tote a gun,
I loooooove those rights,
That preciously guarded one.

I've got my rights!!!
I'll use my firearm-
Try taking my rights
You'll buy the the farm.

I've got my rights!!!
To protect my kin
I got my rights-
Don't fence me in.

I've got my rights!!!
Cain't lock me down,
I've got my rights
I'll go right to town.

I've got my rights!!!
To get loose and loud,
I've got my rights
To hang with my crowd. 

We've got our rights!!!
Wanderin' where we please,
We got our rights
To shoot the breeze.

We got our rights!!!
To gather Brotherhoodly together,
We got our rights
To go Hell for leather.

I've got my rights!!!
Rights we fought for,
I got my rights
To spread joy, and more.

I've got my rights!!!
To warn you off,
I got my rights
I'll shoot, I'll cough.

I've got my rights!!!
History's on my side,
I demand my gun rights
For which so many died.

I've got my rights!!!
Guns keep 'Merica Great!
Wanna spike my rights?
Like JFK, too late.

I've got my rights!!!
To smile with malice,
I got my rights
To openly carry in Dallas.

I've got my rights!!!
To roam around freely,
I got my rights 
To scope out Dealey.

I've got my rights!!!
To believe in Holy Don,
I got my rights
To wholly swallow QAnon.

I've got my rights!!!
Too right- I am hypocritical-
You say you've rights?
Wrong! My rights aren't reciprocal. 

I've got my rights!!!
I believe whats fake,
I got my rights
But screw you, Snowflake.

I've got my rights!!!
But if I'm fair
Others having civil rights-
I don't care or share.

Ain’t no arguing with them who shoot their mouths off before thinking.

©Obbverse.


	

After being in a locked down life, what harm is there in getting in a round, a quick nine or eighteen holes?

Same Old Abnormal.

After all these long dark careful months
Of staying locked down, home at nights
Some folk are missing what was normal once-
Just chaffing, a'wanting to exercise their rights.

They just wanna do what they used to do,
They just don't like the way things change,
They just don't- can't- wanna wait till '22 ,
They just wanna be home, out on the range.

Some do become increasingly frustrated,
Sick of staid-at-home and safe surrounds,
They wanna step out, feel free, liberated,
Go out to the club, let loose a few rounds.

A select few don't wanna stay quietly shut up-
Why go stir crazy, let the inner sports nut out!
Find your course of action, get out and cut up,
Or go crazy if they can't get their big butt out?

The urge to break loose grows ever stronger,
It is a curse, a burden many fail to shoulder,
Just a crazy one or two who can't wait any longer
Like those mad bastards in Atlanta and Boulder.

Yep, I think you've every right to those arms you bear,
But your NRA's wrong, blindly wilfully not seeing the link- 
Some short-fused dum-dums need to stay in Secure Care,
No harm checkin' on permits? On fingerprints? Do ya think?

©Obbverse

Don takes a golden opportunity to address CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference. Talk about a new slant on rock solid values and old school beliefs!

Pure Solid Pyrite.*

Whatever happened to the good ol' Conservative?
Those who serve their country, long as they may live?
Those who yearn to not take it all, but to humbly give?

Where now are those leaders, those ol' salts of the earth?
Who knew the the value of sweat, what hard work is worth?
Why would one revere this man, made a billionaire by birth?

Good ol' values long gone, now old dirty money talks,
Nowadays it's 'carry a big stick, smack anything that walks,'
Around the tower of power the Big Bad Boogeyman still stalks.

There's a statue of Trump proudly displayed at CPAC?
The old bold gold-plated Tin God is mounting a comeback!
Can't the eyes of the wise perceive something's out of whack?

Behind his thin skin of gilt'n'glamour lies a cold heart of brass,
A false idol with tons of bullshit bullion but not an ounce of class;
Still  fools bow low, blinded by the shine of this massive stuck-up ass.

*Pyrite: AKA Fools Gold.


©Obbverse


	

The climate of late in the States is hitting a new low. No, we’re not talking politics, we’re talking polar.

Today's Weather Wrap Up.

All over the Continental United States
An ill wind brings in snow drifts and dire straits,
Louisiana has plunged towards an all-time low,
Even Surfside Beach is dusted with snow.

Be you from down South or ways up North,
Intrepid driver, don't set forth,
From the East coast to the West
Staying safe at home will serve us all best.

Yet some brave Souls put their trust in the Lord,
Venture out with sat-nav and faith on board,
Jeez, don't go out and rubberneck, please?
Must snow down South bring on a brain freeze?

Typically, dumb some people can't let it slide,
They just wanna go out on a fun joyride,
To make snow angels out by the seashore,
With God as your co-pilot, who needs a 4 X 4?

Stay wrapped up at home, crank up the heat,
What's the point of a quick spin down the street? 
Don't wrap those threadbare tyres in snow chains,
Leave the Kia in the carport, use your brains.

   'That staycation is lookin' good'

©Obbverse