Category Archives: Travel

The President comes back from meeting with some of the finest minds in the world and his first order of business is- a beastly business.

Blasted Conservation.

If you’re in the hunt for some good clean fun
Dig out your passport and grab your elephant gun,
Now, thanks to what Don has gone and said and done
You can blaze merrily away ‘neath the Zimbabwean sun.

Don has duly given his licence to a blood sport
And the NRA give him their wholehearted support,
It’s the product of a mutual disregard for logical thought,
But elephants are on the brink of being extinct, so time is short…

Fly direct to Zimbabwe
And land in festive and restive Harare,
Say you will pay handsomely to go on safari
(But better not say Grace or Robert Mugabe.)

Get over there before the climate here becomes too hot,
It just takes a little money and you can be a real big shot,
Some say big game hunting’s cold blooded killing , but it’s not,
But hurry, if you’re lucky you might even plug the last of the lot.

So take aim, squeeze your trigger, watch another fall,
Bringing down something so big makes a little man stand tall,
So bring back that brainless stuffed head, mount it on the wall;
Perhaps Dumbo Don has left us a perfect and lasting legacy after all?

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No free rides or happy landings in the Presidential inner circle.

Tom Price In Free Fall.

So another good Trump man has gone,
Tom Price has been dismissed by Don,
No public servant has blown so much on luxury flight,
Arduous journeys magically became transports of delight.

Since Don asked Tom where the funds came from
There will be no more high flying for poor Tom,
From being on board Air Force One with the President
He’s flown from favour faster than a Muslim immigrant.

So Toms going back to the bad old days,
Of long queues and longer delays,
Tom had no answer, the Don has spoken;
Much longer and his record would be broken.

Since Don has thrown him out on his tight ass
Its a seat in cheap ‘n’ nasty Economy Class,
Tom’s paying the price, he’s now flying right, not wrong,
Even smiling at that spoiled brat that screams all flight long.

There’s light on the horizon for Korea, Don just said so. Unfortunately that light might –

Don And The Art Of Diplomatic Dialogue.

Don stalked up and talked down to the United Nations,
It sounded less a calming talk than a call to action stations,
Looking aghast as the pearls of wisdom fell from his mouth
Delegates weighed up the odds of both Koreas going South.

Members of every race, creed and religion rolled their eyes
As their prayers and entreaties to ANY Divine intervention dies,
Those hopes for North and South to peaceably co-exist one fine day?
Well, Rocketman’s response to Dons bombast blows that theory away.

The PresiDon shows up in Texas to help out- for the second time. Ain’t the great State doubly blessed?

As Big As Texas.

Flying back home Don cast down an eye,
-As one does when in the sky, from on high,
Looking down on those tiny toiling peasants
Don truly felt they’d be buoyed by his presence.

He’d seen Corpus Christi and Galveston,
By Houston he’d felt his duty had been done,
But for once had his leaving been precipitous?
Could this devastating event also be serendipitous?

At the thought, a lump rose to his throat-
A photo op- and he’d almost missed the boat,
Sadly Texas had suffered terribly in the deluge;
Therefore chances of bolstering his image were HUGE.

Melania thought she was safely back on the ground
When Donald announced they were turning around,
Donald’s entourage of advisers broke into a cold sweat
Seeing yet another Donald Trump breath-taking pirouette.

Don’s going to show us he had the common touch-
There’s a thought that shouldn’t worry him overmuch-
Weird, how one who puts such store in what he’s worth
Wishes to show po’ down home folks he’s down to earth.

Those who said Don’s vain, shallow, proud and aloof
Will meet with Dons swift return and righteous reproof,
Imagine how good him tousling some poor tykes Afro looks?
Surely THAT’S got to get our guy into Someones good books?

After smiling and posing till his face hurts
Dons had enough of dealing with little squirts,
So he finds a private place to don his galoshes
And edges right up to where the floodwater washes.

There he stands, staring, brooding, in a brown study,
The water Harvey delivered looks cold murky and muddy,
When faced with a flood of epic, nay, of biblical proportions
Dons next step is bold, despite what that inner voice cautions.

As he realises he has to forgo his long held belief
Its a chilling moment for the Commander-in-chief,
With heavy heart he sees how swiftly his foot sinks,
‘No walking on the water yet,’ Don despondently thinks.

Getting wet and wild when Harvey came storming in.

Wherever The Wind Blows.

The great state of Texas has had the odd spot of rain,
So Don drops in, winging in on his Presidential plane,
He’s here to hear and feel those poor Texan’s pain;
What’s Washington’s loss is the Lone Stars gain.

Once the news cameras switch off his interest wanes-
The great man can’t play golf in 100-mile an hour hurricanes-
So away he flies, spouting hogwash ’bout swamping the drains,
Don’s poured oil on the waters, but that whiff of sewerage remains.

Rex spends four hours in New Zealand, Here spreading the love, Rex receives a great big hand- Or a part thereof.

A Little Birdie…

In Wellington Rex failed to see a single welcoming banner;
Still, the peasantry hailed him in a most singular manner,
The cheering crowd he’d thought he’d seen and heard
Turned out to be jeering and giving him the bird.

Wellington is where, for Rex it began to unravel;
Tillerson got their message about sex and travel

The Nine Day misguided tour, brought to you by Trump Travel.

Flitting About.

The Saudis succumbed to Donald’s charms
Once he reached out to ’em with his arms.

On to Israel with their message ringing in his ear-
That Jerusalem Embassy is no longer a capital idea.

There he stood quietly staring at the Western wall,
The cracks therein didn’t resonate with him- at all.

Approached the Pope, hoped he’d forgive every sin;
The Lords representative didn’t know where to begin.

The NATO photo shoot pictured him as grace personified
But somehow the friends he’d made didn’t see his best side.

Then home, and he’s over his travels if not his travails,
Hoping his son-in-laws luck in Russian roulette prevails.