Notes In Passing.
At the last possible moment, as he counts down the hours,
Before dawn arrives and he leaves with red downcast face
With twitchy fingers, with the last grasp of his fading powers
Don leaves Joe a post-it, writ with ill and begrudging grace.
The first word he's addressed to Joe not meant to mislead,
Nevertheless the closest thing Don could get to a farewell note,
Not a welcome nor a final word, Don refuses to concede,
Simply 'Good luck, Joe.' Don confirms 'and that's all I wrote.'
It's amazing Joe didn't reach for a flippin' Zippo and burn it,
Or rip it, rend, rive or tear it rather than cooly and calmly read it,
But, with a wry smile, add his footnote, sign it, seal it and return it;
'Don, I can't accept you wishing me luck, you're sure gonna need it.'
‘Deer Joe- gude luk – good luck.’
(Let’s hope there’s no more to be said on the misdirected unwrapped parcel of wholesale lies that is Don now that Trump, Inc. has been withdrawn from public consumption .)
Snakes On A Plane.
His final flight is ready to take off,
The ex-President is set to snake off,
His eyes look out, dark, cold, reptilian,
Farewell, you contemptible low con man.
Fly away to your welcome in Mar-A-Lago,
Fly, fly off, off to to your hidey-hole you go,
Go to ground, wait for the storm to pass...
Natural, for an old snake in the grass.
A man is known by the company he's among,
So visitors, cock an ear for a f-f-forked tongue,
Hisss twisted words hark back to original sin,
And he sheds friends as he does his thin skin.
So Don, slip out and lay back 'neath the Florida sun,
Relax, uncoil, your long retirement has just begun,
Or scale back the sun bed regime, let down your hair
Then slither under a rock and stay- at home- there.
‘Warning- Contains Lingering Traces Of Venemous Vitriol.’
They talked of changes in the neighbourhood...
Still, its breathtaking how swift it's come about,
That unwelcome squatter hung in as long as he could
But patience has run its course, he's been turfed out.
The last big ass U-Haul truck idles at the back door,
All the furnishings of House and Office packed away,
One last look, a heavy sigh echoes round the empty floor,
It's a Sad day being told you've overstayed your stay.
He'd done his very worst to extend his lease,
He'd searched for an escape clause to no avail ,
He'd not leave, not without forever saying his piece;
Threaten him with debtors prison, he won't bail.
Yet more misdemeanors to add to his damning list;
Sending rude messages, annoying parties all night long,
Breaches of the peace, refusals to cease and desist,
Ignoring calls to tone down what just sounds wrong.
The dumb dude simply will not see sense
So his crew of party pals quietly dwindled,
Facebook 'friends' deleted his comments-
Too many to repeat claims he's been swindled.
But this guy's used to acting with reckless impunity,
So now to be told by sumbitch he'd backed as a friend
That your excesses upset the best of the community,
'You and your terrible properties have been condemned.'
It's bad enough being told you just must leave-
Oh, the ignominy of a common squalid eviction,
Once secure, at home, going now is too hard to believe -
And threatened with criminal trespass, with real conviction.
The prime location of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Cannot be cheaply bought, it can merely be rented;
Thence after four years there comes a tenancy review,
And friends and neighbours have become discontented.
He's proved he's not the best of Housekeepers,
This whole historic property he's badly mismanaged,
Unfinished walls, the surrounds ass-deep in creepers,
Our once firm foundations cracked and damaged.
So wave cheery-bye to the ex-President,
He's off to his latest guilt-edged address,
Now let's welcome in a better-suited resident
And hope he cleans up that Losers! unholy mess.
Please Explain Letter.
The Republicans received this letter, signed and sealed,
Its creased and crumpled contents can now be revealed;
A missive from the President that actually appealed?
'My loyal friends, some think Your President may have erred,
Given a speech that rabble-roused, not patriotically stirred,
It's my sworn duty to tell you 'That's not what I heard."
'My Great impromptu speech fairly rattled along,
It's possible I may have come on a little strong,
But dare I say, few with me will say I did anything wrong.'
'I'm obliged to say I did not rashly stir up that crowd,
But Boys, if you do trash talk let's make it loud and Proud,
And everyone knew I meant 'Only peaceful protesting allowed."
'Some days when my loyal crowd is baying
'Midst the banners waving and the spittle spraying
They might not hear my plea- hear what I'm saying?'
'Naturally, I'd like to say I filled a Presidential role,
I even said I'd join em on a quiet downtown stroll,
I'd heard that mob was well acquainted with Con/troll.'
'I thought at the Capitol they were bound to halt;
Words failed me when I saw 'em up and revolt,
Anyways, what I can say is 'That ain't my fault."
'As they slid into anarchy so did my heart lift sink,
After years of dog-whistling and tipping the wink
Who am I to call out that mob, tell 'em what to think?'
'We all know when I go off my Scripts I tend to be blunt
But the backsliding from you I take as a personal affront,
C'mon, we know I've still time to conduct my own Witch Hunt.'
'So, my trusted friends, lets laugh off this vote to impeach,
I'll try to clean up the excesses of my all-too free speech;
Since you all swallowed that joke I injected about bleach.'
'Once we all sang from the same song sheet,
Your constant chorus of praise rang so sweet,
Now I don't hear a peep, not one damned tweet.'
'Sorry if my sorry speech caused you sorrow
But I hope 'n' pray you'll say Right by me tomorrow,
And by the way, anyone got a Bible I can borrow?'
As Don's 'unlawfully dishonourable' judgement nears
By a jury of, Donald could never say, of his peers,
Another letter of explanation- in Capitals- appears...
'My Followers, though you and I are Much Maligned
NO Lawlessness, NO Vandalism NO Violence of Any Kind.'
A better letter would have simply said he's resigned.
If there's one thing Don can still flat-out refuse
It's believing in a crazy world where he can lose,
He remains deeply, thickly fixed in his fake views.
'Nancy's talk of impeachin' me is nasty, not nice,
MAGA friends, might this half-hearted apology suffice?
Or must I humbly beg your pardon twice?'
Patriotic Republicans proudly boast
'Law And Order' first and foremost,
So, pray, what kind of sense must they be making
Of the latest gang Hell-bent on Housebreaking?
Law Abiders who found it oh so concerning
When Grand Old businesses were burning?
Cries about dark matters to be be silenced with no discourse,
Blind justice must be meted out with swift and undue force!
But when Patriots wave the barred flag,
Protecting the bad name of Fort Bragg?
But, by God when they believe they speak for all the nation???
Christ, then you should hear their Righteous indignation!
Flaunting their colours on the street,
Glass breaking under stamping feet?
Chanting and frightening the frail and defenceless?
Invading property, beating dutiful police senseless?
When you do the Capitol crime
Shouldn't you do Capital time?
And since we're passing comment on Capital punishment-
It's favoured by the current outgoing inciteful President.
Hush a Bye Bye/ Potus Gets The Message.
First, my electoral defeat-
That left me a tad downbeat,
Struck dumb by shock, sad to say,
'Twas indeed a dark blue/grey day...
But now I had grievous cause to bleat
About the GreatesT ever electoral cheat!
Lies, all lies, but lies I'll happily repeat,
Easily flicked out by a simple tweet,
But now I read, with deep dismay
They took my tweet voice away!
Where fantasy and fable meet!
Now my misery is complete.
As the whole wide-eyed wigged-out world looks on
What thoughts idly flit through the 'mind' of Don?
Anarchy and sedition are the least of his concerns,
The Biggest Zero titters while Democracy burns.
Donald had Brad Raffensperger dangling on the line,
Demanding the ashen Secretary of State do the divine,
'Conjure those non-existent votes and make 'em mine,'
Even for Brad this is beyond the pale, way over the line.
Brad looks at the phone with a disbelieving look,
Don demands another term, by hook or by crook,
Don's delusion of grandeur look clearly text-book,
You can't find nuttin' no matter how hard you look.
Fact is, Don believes petty illegalities are of no never mind,
Fact is, he'll blithely deceive, though theres no votes to find,
Fact is the tape shows Donald's imagination runs unconfined,
Fact is, no votes to be found mean Don's lost his flippin' mind.
Mar-a-LaGoose Nursery Rhyme Time.
The clown is counting down the fading hours, his mood- none too sunny,
His spouse is confiding with her briefs, talk of divorce, acrimony- money,
He's made his tiny mind up to drag down Democratic ideals before he goes-
Pardon his bad, then he'll recast his ex-best GOP friends as his darkest foes.
Out For The Count.
When Don won bigly in twenty sixteen
He swelled up with Ginormous pride,
Obviously his Huuuuuge win had been
A Democratically devastating landslide.
After four disastrous years finally we've seen
An end to Don's wildly whoopsy inducing ride,
Don's Crazy Clown Train Wreck's left US lookin' green,
But dark days are over now we can see Don's back side.