Low Rumbling Grumbling Sounds.
For half a century those Harley guys have gamely tried
To hold back the unending Oriental copy-cat Cruiser tide,
Fakes of their venerable V-twin, a design so old and ossified
It deserves to be seen in ‘Antiques Roadshow’, or Formaldehyde.
Yet the President sees this decrepit anachronism as a thing of pride
So, the Harley Board is finding dealing with Don a wild, not easy ride,
No, Don don’t want their icon screwed together anywhere but Stateside
(Putting Putin’s plan for producing Harley-Davidsons in Petrograd aside.)
All That Glistens…
The President looked down from the casement
Of his glittering golden GREAT gilded Trump Tower,
The full moons soft saffron suffused glow meant
Don’s Rolex showed he was nearing the witching hour.
Tonight the moon seems full, of dark portent,
Tonight Don is as quiet and shy as a wall-flower,
Tonight its rich unadulterated light has lent
A blood-moon cast to his petulant glower.
Oh, how it pains this peach-of-a-President
To find Captain ‘Merica’s lost his superpower
As well as losing that sweet smell of victory scent,
Since he parleyed with Putin that’s started to sour.
In the FAKE photos Don sees it, and it is all too evident;
‘Neath a fake tan lies a sad whey-faced sack of
How he regrets Moscow and the time there ill-spent,
In the moons glow the tears flow, a regular golden shower.
Vlad To The Bone. (Apologies to George Thorogood.)
When two princes amongst men met up in Helsinki
Both promised, vowed, swore a swear with extended pinky
To put aside that old veil of dark secrecy, so deep, black and inky;
If Vlad’s pants look uncomfortably hot, don’t Dons seem a whiff stinky?
In a most comradely fashion the two privately conversed,
When they emerged into the light, all dark clouds dispersed,
Donald smiling dimly,Vladimir’s smile smug, satisfied, fit to burst,
How did Vlad contrive to convince Don to put ‘Meric- err… Russia First?
Russia is electing their President, and it’s the same again,
‘All hail President Putin’ is the Kremlins enduring refrain,
Vladimir’s grasp on power is relentlessly ongoing
The ‘popularity’ of the President shows no signs of slowing.
Now Don ill-advisedly phones in his congratulations and delight
Since Putin has dazzlingly won his democratic election… right..?
Yet for Donald the epithet ‘Democrat’ is such a damn dirty word,
He, Vlad and Xi Jinping think leader for life is the term preferred.
Vlad feels he- alone- is fit to serve,
To oppose him takes resolve- and nerve,
Vlad’s electoral victory is unsurpassed Since his opponents tend to come in dead last.
Donald and Vlad paused to exchange a greeting
At the Asian conflab, scarcely even a meeting,
Barely worth mentioning, or even repeating.
Just enough time taken by those two to put to rest
The insinuations of those who continue to protest
That red hands were all over the electoral contest.
A smile, a nod, a blink- or a wink?- a brief handshake,
It’s amazing how little time a Don done deal can take-
Some might say it’s one slick team those two make.
Why pursue this Russian fabrication when they have agreed
To be resolute that any investigation can’t hope to succeed?
Besides neither care to know where any trail might lead.
Now, with hand on heart, Donald can say say he’s truly relieved
That an ‘understanding’ with Vladimir has been achieved;
Surely the word of an ex-KGB Colonel can be believed?
Don plopped down beside Vladimir just after dessert,
A little- ahem, Big Boys bonding session couldn’t hurt?
But Vlad speaks no English, he needs his interpreter to,
And since Don has lost his translator, Vlad’s lad would do.
Some people speak of collusion,
He translates that with confusion,
What Don says Vlad is rapt to hear,
Which is so flattering to Dons ear.
At the end of the one-way talk Don was amazed to find
Vlad hadn’t contributed much, in fact little came to mind,
But when handed their transcript of what they said he said
The things he’d agreed to had sounded different in his head.
Learning Plenty At The G20.
Donald and Vladimir shook hands and sat,
Two wily leaders having a ‘diplomatic’ chat,
Don smiled and began to babble at Vladimir,
Vlad’s twisted lips looking less smile than sneer.
Don looked into Vladimir’s eyes, so blue,
Blushingly asked him if he could tell him true
That no Russian meddling had helped him win;
‘Oh, no,’ said Vlad, sneer becoming a huge grin.
So Don said ‘Vlad, that’s good enough for me,’
Who could doubt the word of someone ex-KGB?
So as the Hamburg meeting came to its conclusion
At least Don and Vlad can agree there was no collusion.
As they parted friends, Vladimir pauses and mentions
‘America and Russia should defy cold war conventions,’
What Vladimir suggests to Don sounds one Hell of a deal,
Vlad’s joint Impenetrable Cyber Security unit has vast appeal.