Category Archives: weltshmertz

Whatever happened to peace, empathy and understanding in the community? …Oh.

All Too Cutting.

Out to the quiet garden I did go,
The sun’s a’ shining, seeds to sow,
I brought out the iPhone, the better to hear
iTunes to sooth the memories of last nights beer.

For a sadly hungover sort of fellow
The mornings music should be oh so mellow,
AC/DC is all well and good on a Saturday night-
Not so much in Sunday mornings white bright light.

Humming along to the Beautiful South,
Reviewing my morning vow of nil by mouth,
There came an unwelcome cacophony from next door;
Paul Heaton can’t compete with a mowers infernal roar.


Inside I went, cursing, back to bed,
Back to nursing my poor pounding head,
Now my neighbors complaint is understood-
Last night he said mine’s a rowdy neighborhood.


A touch of heather and vapo-rub in the air?

Bleeding Bloody Cold.

I’m a bit under the weather up here in Montrose,
It started with a splash of rain, then every ruddy thing froze,
These Arctic conditions are really getting up my snotty nose,
I’m running round with a proboscis that both sucks and blows.

Done With.

Diss appointed.

Dunfermline town is old, grey and dour,
Full of faces long and prospects poor,
Where every declivity becomes a hill to climb,
Where they shuffle through Kingsgate Mall, killing time,
Where the young have gone off, God knows where,
To them all that matters is it’s not here, but there.

Anxiety and stress- free at last!

The Rhyme And The Reason.

I watch the doings of our leaders, so sage and wise,
I shake my head, give a heartfelt sigh and roll my eyes,
Once I used to rant and rave but today that’s not my style,
Now I only offer a word to them wise-guys, and a sardonic smile.

Back then their clodhopping missteps and monumental errors
Had me waking, screaming in my bed, gripped by night terrors,
No more sitting in sweaty (sometimes slightly soiled) nightshirts,
Now on Fluoxetine I feel fine- apart from the odd bout of weltshmerz.