How to survive the Coronavirus- all it takes is simple folk remedies, like a little faith, hope and gullibility. And donations, according to Bishop Brian Tamaki. Jeez, who on earth could or would fake this?

Messianic, Charismatic And Miasmatic.

In these bleak black days of plague and pestilence
Who guides us through confusion by talking sense?
In times of trouble, when damned doubt creeps in
Whose words will save us from every ill-gotten sin?

Oh, anointed oily Bishop Brian, full of grease,
Our good God on earths all-knowing mouthpiece,
Your followers, your simple flock are truly desirous
To hear you tell us all how to lick this Coronavirus?

Tell us, Brother, what have you heard from Him on high?
Or as those sad disbelievers say, that big pie in the sky.

*‘Satan has control of the atmospheres’ you do say?
Follow Brian’s advice or there’s an infernal price to pay?
Unless *‘you’re a born-again Jesus-loving bible-believing
Tithe-paying believer’ it’ll be the last rites you’re receiving?

Ah, but Bishop Brian’s tithes aren’t a set ten percent any longer?
Twenty percent guarantees Brian’s protection is a little stronger,
But Brian’s two-bits more protection takes you up to a full quarter-
So go get blessed, get batptised, don’t hold your head above water.

Will Brian’s good word save one soul from Deaths scythe?
If not, surely Brian’s heart will weigh as heavy as his tithe?

* Words in bold– direct quotes from the good Bishop Brian, gawd help us.