Donald Trump’s cheap Corona cure- so easy to concoct, but please: Do Not Swallow.

Genuine Bona Fide Genius.

If you really wanna be Corona cured,
Your survival can be patently ensured,
Doctor Dettol Don offers some folksy advice
To forestall your early entry into Paradise.

Believe Don, salvation is within your reach-
Open the cleaning closet and grab some bleach,
Whatever is adorned with a big red WARNING label-
Doc Don dismisses that as ‘nother Fake News fable.

Whatever comes to hand that can clean the sink,
Anything, time’s of the essence, ain’t no time to think!
Quick, grab that strong purple stuff from the littlest room-
One dose of that guarantee’s a Covid Kaboom.

Fauci can’t condone Dons treatment for the sick,
He cannot endorse a dumb prick, nor his rhetoric,
Alas, Dr Birx’s defence of Don seems to stick in her throat
Knowing he’s only fit for a tight-sleeved white overcoat.

 

©Obbverse

How to survive the Coronavirus- all it takes is simple folk remedies, like a little faith, hope and gullibility. And donations, according to Bishop Brian Tamaki. Jeez, who on earth could or would fake this?

Messianic, Charismatic And Miasmatic.

In these bleak black days of plague and pestilence
Who guides us through confusion by talking sense?
In times of trouble, when damned doubt creeps in
Whose words will save us from every ill-gotten sin?

Oh, anointed oily Bishop Brian, full of grease,
Our good God on earths all-knowing mouthpiece,
Your followers, your simple flock are truly desirous
To hear you tell us all how to lick this Coronavirus?

Tell us, Brother, what have you heard from Him on high?
Or as those sad disbelievers say, that big pie in the sky.

*‘Satan has control of the atmospheres’ you do say?
Follow Brian’s advice or there’s an infernal price to pay?
Unless *‘you’re a born-again Jesus-loving bible-believing
Tithe-paying believer’ it’ll be the last rites you’re receiving?

Ah, but Bishop Brian’s tithes aren’t a set ten percent any longer?
Twenty percent guarantees Brian’s protection is a little stronger,
But Brian’s two-bits more protection takes you up to a full quarter-
So go get blessed, get batptised, don’t hold your head above water.

Will Brian’s good word save one soul from Deaths scythe?
If not, surely Brian’s heart will weigh as heavy as his tithe?

* Words in bold– direct quotes from the good Bishop Brian, gawd help us.

 

©Obbverse.