The big show down: Not going out with a bang but a whimper.

Pop's Culture.
(Another tall tale of our peculiar particular family's not-so-colourful past.)

Why, given all Netflix's multiple choices of what to view tonight
Do I return to the days my choices were few and all black and white? 

When I was but a wide-eyed boy I loved to see the wild frontier,
Hearing the theme to 'Bonanza,' sweet music to my unlearned ear,
Nowadays I look back on those dim wit lit days with nostalgic tear,
Though my backwards dewy view wouldn't be shared by Mama dear...

With dinner done we three boys thanked Ma for every tasty course,
Pa gladly, loudly chimed in too- to not would be grounds for divorce.

The family would all gather 'round the flickering light of the TV set,
Pa would scratch a match and light up the evening's first cigarette,
Ma, coffee steaming on sofa arm, knew the viewing menu wouldn't vary,
Her hubby and three buckaroos, four wannabe Sons of the Prairie.

Poor Ma- one night of Western culture was no cause of joie de vivre,
Every night confined to watching Westerns could cause cabin fever.

Pa would ease his ass in his Lazy-boy, kick off his boots and kick back,
Retrieve the remote from atop that ever-growing Zane Grey stack,
One click of his itchy finger and we'd be in 'Gunsmoke's' Dodge City,
With Marshall Dillon, Festus, Chester and saloon Madam Miss Kitty.*

For Ma the evening plodded on, one program rolling into the others,
'Wagon Train,' 'Shane,' till, inevitably, that tale of the three brothers...**

Old but unbent Ben Cartwright was one proud son of a b- gun
Of first-born Adam, and of youthful Little Joe, the youngest son,
Two colts he had sired were both bright sparks, make no mistake,
But even proud Ben plainly saw big Hoss was slow on the uptake.

Ma might occasionally sigh, complain 'bout missing 'Peyton Place,'
The only show Pa derided more was my silly Sci-Fi 'Lost In Space.'

So Ma sat, bored shi witless till the 'Bonanza' theme's final fading note,
But she'd see no soppy soapy stuff, not while Pa's paw held that remote,
Soon as 'Bonanza' played out the 'change channel' button was depressed,
Poor Ma- dragged through 'The High Chaparral' then 'The Wild Wild West.'

While Pa and his posse of three looked gogglingly on, wide eyes a'gazing,
Ma found pots of Folgers Caffeinated couldn't keep her eyes from a'glazing.

Poor Ma- not even on the weekends, when I'd switch to my cartoons,
She'd get no rest from the West, and it would drive her Looney Tunes,
Poor Ma- even her Saturday sleep-in was blown away by the dull roar
Of me guffawing to Yosemite Sam, Deputy Dawg, Quick Draw McGraw.

Still, the times were a' changing, we saw 'em put a man on the moon!
Even Pa looked up to the stars... before turning back to 'High Noon.'

Pa juggled the three free TV channels from which he had to choose,
His one concession to modern times was a peep at the sports news,
All attempts to wrestle the the remote from Pa had led to a family feud,
So Ma sat back with a mouthful of F- Folgers and, lips puckered, stewed.

In them pre-Women's Lib days she felt she had to sit and endure
Yet another heapin' helping of pure Western horse shit manure.

Little did she and we know, but the sun was setting on the Western;
Tastes changed, and TV companies saw some shows to disinvest in;
Serials with gratuitous gunplay had had their day; were no longer OK;
Seemingly, in the blink of an eye, like 'Gunsmoke' they just... faded away.

Soon Pa and us boys found our old compadres had moseyed on,
You've never seen a Pa and his three sons look more woebegone.

Pa never quite got over the fact his Westerns had bitten the dust,
He viewed the modern shows that replaced 'em with deep disgust,
Once 'Alias Smith And Jones' succumbed to 'Starsky And Hutch'
That once sacred remote was barely, rarely warmed by his touch.

Like a lame ol' horse the long-running Western was put out to grass;
Ma's final word; 'All things must pass, like sand through the hourglass.'***

Soon sweet Mama was the one who held the remote, and all the aces,
How easily Ma slid over to the Lazy-boy as Pa and she switched places,
And how she quick-shifted away from dumb 'Starsky And Hutch' car chases,
At times she'd smile, look up from 'Dynasty,' say 'boys, why the long faces?'

Why, given all Netflix's multiple choices on what to view tonight
Do I yearn for the days my choices were few and all black and white?

* Oh come on; I was a simple snot-nosed kid and I tumbled to the fact that Miss Kitty had a workout room above the saloon.
** Even the young bucks of today who watch 'Yellowstone' know of the 'Bonanza' link.
*** Pardner, if you are familiar with this particular line from day time television- get out of town!

‘Tall dark and handsome Adam! Patriarch Ben! Cute curly haired Little Joe! Um…Hoss.’

‘I got so bummed I turned it off
And turned on another show,
But there was the same ol’ shoot ’em-up
And the same old rodeo.’
Ray Stevens/Righteous Brothers/The Coasters/Paul Jones/Micky Dolenz and Davy Jones plus countless others, ‘Along Came Jones.’

©Obbverse.