Lawyers Never Lack In Appeal.
Derek Chauvin's poor loser of a lawyer is now saying
Many more legal loopholes avenues are worth persuing,
This lifetime sentence is worth spending time on delaying-
(The tricky part remains that nine minutes of painful viewing.)
Monetarily it might cost him- a lot,
And it's bound to take mighty long,
But Derek's lawyer's in a tight spot
So count him in to right your wrong!
The real appeal of our untimely appeal is it will take a pile while,
Buying time to blame Floyd's death on 'unhappy happenstance?'
'So we, Derek's defence, demand another long drawn-out trial!'
(Say Counsellor, when will George Floyd get a second chance?)
Poor Poor Pitiful Me.
Not too long ago I used to think I lived half a life;
The car, two kids, two mortgages, the dog, the wife,
Stuck on the endless treadmill of work work work,
I thought one day I'd lose my mind and go berserk.
I see now I was 'a glass half-empty' kind of a guy,
A sad sack who saw the world through a gimlet eye,
My father-in-law berated me as a self-pitying soul,
His wife told me straight- 'what a miserable asshole.'
Abed one night, worried and awake at one o'clock
I rose and took a ruminative stroll around the block,
The streets and my thoughts were miserable and dark,
My feet grew weary but my brain continued to spark.
I was passing through the shadows of the church tower,
Deep in the dark depths I saw an eye's malevolent glower,
I was encircled and set on, just outside the church grounds!
Do these roaming gangs of mindless thugs know no bounds?
In the darkness I could see naught but a flash of white,
The gleam of bared teeth, evil creatures of the night,
I fought bravely under their outrageous bestial attack
Till someone tapped my head and everything went black.
When I awoke my bloody head was pounding,
An alarm somewhere in my brain was sounding,
I arose from the pavement and shook my head
But in my mind a creeping realisation spread...
I discovered I could no longer focus my brain,
My fragmentary thoughts seemed half insane,
My attack proved a bit more than a minor scuffle-
Both brain and feet seemed to be stuck on shuffle.
In the pit of my miserable guts sat a hunger, gnawing,
A deeply primitive part I knew I was beyond ignoring,
On my approach I saw three pre-dawn joggers scatter-
This new Zombie shows a hankerin' for fresh grey matter.
As I shamble along I glance at a storefront window
And see a sight, in reflection, I have no wish to know,
And that last human part of me clenches in resistance,
And I know I want no part in this miserable existence.
So I'm stumbling back home where I'm hoping I'll find
An up-in-arms wife to offer me a bit of peace of mind,
I guess our shotgun marriage was doomed from the start,
Let's hope she aims for my stupid brains and not my heart.
(Obviously watching Shaun Of The Dead on top of a few tasty episodes of The Santa Clarita Diet inspired another addition to the Shlock Mock Horror genre. I thought 'why not try to see it from the zombies point of view?' At least it's a fresh one.)
‘Hey, I know I’ve changed. No, It’s not you, it’s definitely me.’
(A quick snide aside following the form of yesterday’s few lines.)
Two Deserving.
Dom and BoJo have lost the plot,
That terrible two make one sorry lot,
The old iron-clad brotherly bond is shot,
That once creepily friendship, now forgot,
Still mutually respectful- most definitely not!
Now they wouldn't share the same piss pot.
Another few lines- these two deserve a half-decent hearing.
Two Sad.
Dominic and BoJo both realise
Their relationship has hit its demise,
Farewell twisted bonds, Old School ties-
Whatever Dominic accuses, Boris denies,
But who could you trust to believe whose lies?
This couldn't happen to two déclassé-er guys.
Two Bad.
Dominic Cummings vicious nasty attack
Must trigger a quick Johnson come-back,
When two old besties start talking smack,
Once cosy Old Boy alliances begin to crack
Someone in Tory-Town is way out of whack.
C'mon, seriously old chaps- pot, kettle, black?
Cop Out.
Derek Chauvin denied his all-too-obvious guilt,
His good lawyer argued his lousy case to the hilt,
Tried to frame Floyd's death as a 'medical mystery,'
Pity Derek's knee on the neck was there for all to see.
Once a cop could blow off an 'escape attempt,'
Treat 'alleged' brutality with a smile of contempt,
Once any cops perjur-ative testimony was enough;
Now a cheap cell phone video will call Derek's bluff.
And so, the damning evidence was played;
That don't look good for Derek, I'm afraid;
Derek, looking all innocent won't succeed;
Jurors, how much evidence do you kneed?
Deep down Derek knew the jury's verdict could be no surprise
Though a flicker of emotion darkened those lizard-like eyes,
Yes, behind his mask how truly sorry (for himself) he feels-
His first day inside and he'll be sucking down liquid meals.
There are so many inside who'll happily rearrange his smile,
So many too ready to mete out some justice without a trial,
He's prayin' hard for a solitary sentence, the full 24 hours;
Beats being on his knees whenever he visits the showers.
Groundhog Day Again.
'Good morning, Merrilee, what's happening in the news today,
What's trending, pray tell, what's going down in the greater USA?'
'Morning Mitch, well, it's much like yesterday's news, sorry to say,
Trials, tribulations, protests- oh, 'nother mass shooting by the way.'
'Oh Merrilee, this is a tragedy, so soon after yesterday's report?
It gives me pause to think how quick our lives can be cut short,
So let me take a moment to send out heartfelt prayers of support;
OK, moving along Merrilee- hey, what's new in weather and sport?'
(Yet another dark rather than light flippant offering. Sorry, but now it's no fun to wake up of a morning and start ticking off the latest mass shooting numbers- Indianapolis Fedex, April 15, Detroit, April 16, Columbus and La Place, April 17, Kenosha and Shreveport , April 18- Since when did mass shootings become an everyday occurrence? The numbers are all becoming quite mind numbing, aren't they?)
Rich Man, Ponzi Man, Bernie Madoff, Thief.
Bernie Madoff, that ball of slime
Has done spending time in jail,
He's hardly started serving his time
For fraud on a madly massive scale.
But Bernie's sentence is at expiration.
He ripped people off for his own ends,
He left a trail of Madoff bad debts behind,
He bilked clients and milked dear friends,
Every one a poor rube to be robbed blind.
So much for his trustworthy reputation.
He was sentenced to three lifetimes in clink,
Judged deserving of serving 150 years,
Time enough to take stock, stop and think...
What fresh Hell awaits as Eternity nears?
It's time for a soul-searching conversation.
Alas, poor Bernie, did he did try to cut a deal?
Offer Satan up his soul, or a majority share?
But in certain cases that offer holds no appeal,
A peep into some hearts shows... nothing there.
Any ex-client knows that's no Revelation.
As Bernie breathes his last in his lonely cell
Does he pray St. Pete swallows his sob story?
The ol' silver tongued devil tells a tale so well;
Or will Bernie be the richest soul in Purgatory?
So ends Bernie's short incarceration.
Bernie lived the rich Ponzi scheme dream
Now life in a pokey cell is a poor way to live,
The debt he owes he knows he'll never redeem,
What a pity bankrupt Bernie had only life to give.
It's back to the bottom for Bernie if you're into reincarnation.
Half Cocked Excuse.
A police patrol pulled over Daunte Wright-
For those who Protect and Serve us right-
Well trained long serving front line cops-
The latest of many routine traffic stops.
But this young man tried to break free,
Now, why would a young black man flee?
When Minneapolis's finest uphold the code?
Where George Floyd died, just down the road?
But a long serving cop stopped him!
A quick blast of Taser from Officer Kim!
Umm, somehow she pulled a gun not a Taser,
A mystifying mistake that continues to amaze her.
Now Officer Kim hides behind the scenes, gone on leave,
Daunte is gone too, leaving his family to openly grieve,
Kim's sheltered and protected behind the Blue enclave
But Daunte takes her mistake to his cold lonely grave.
(Little humour in my offering today. Apparently Officers put their Tasers on their less favoured side. So when they whip out their weapons they won't mix up the Taser with the gun. Wouldn't wanna confuse those two, would one? And surely a good cop knows wrong from right, left from right? Or am I naively mistaken in that belief too?)
Ninety-nine- A Fair Old Innings.
For good old Phil it's the end of the line,
Departing life's game stuck on ninety-nine,
What a long and Commowealthy life it's been
Standing mostly quietly in the shadow of his Queen.
The Duke was at his best standing square-jawed,
Stoic, as Liz spoke and the folk listened in, awed,
On the other hand, when asked to share a thought
Her speech writers advised Phil to just keep it short.
He's stood by, if not silently, steadfast and loyally,
On the odd occasion, dropped himself in it royally,
Liz's Phil has been known for many an un-PC remark
But then the Prince has been 'round as long as the ark.
Leaving just shy of a 100 must cause him some regret,
There's a letter from the Palace he didn't quite get,
After seventy years of living a rich and Royal life
Phil won't get a 100 Club Card from the wife.
Phil said the odd gaffe, spoke his mind, but he was one of a kind.
And Jolly Good Company...
Imagine If I could stand and face you instead of using Zoom?
Imagine if we could all be close together in the one room?
Ever since the sad business of the emergence of Covid-19
We've had no choice but do the business via video screen.
As I gaze proudly around our fabulous but far-flung team
I'd like to thank you all for turning my nightmare into a dream,
So, though we're physically far apart my profits have far improved
Gettin' the loyal gang back together leaves me virtually unmoved.
I see I don't need your asses sitting around my expensive real estate
So you're all FIRED!- unless you accept my Home Contractors rate-
Surely immediate redundant executive positions had to be expected
For no one is ever safe- present big Head of the Company excepted.
