Oh, to be back in the sceptred isle on a sepulchral January day,
No, there’s no place like home the old folks unfailingly say,
The rain paints the streets a shade of an all too familiar grey,
Hmm, whatever possessed me to go rather than jolly well stay?
Now I’m thinking of MY home as I trudge through the spray,
Where the rain gently but rarely falls on the sun crazed clay,
That welcoming sun’s calling me back, and no more will I stray,
I’m going home, getting my old Spurs scarf and giving it away.
When it comes to his Wallabies Cheika is fiercely protective,
Their unlucky defeats bring on a stream of Coach’s invective,
Likeable Michael knows who to blame for all these defeats,
Touch judges and referees all cheat, he plaintively bleats.
One must feel sorry for the Wallabies on their flight home,
After Scotland, has Mike developed Asperger’s Syndrome?
For his solemnly silent team the non-stop flight is wearing,
Listening to Motormouth Michael’s non-stop swearing.
A parlous place to be is Crystal Palace’s bosses seat,
Frank’s just found out- four weeks in, and it’s job complete,
But frankly if your team loses the first four, AND can’t score
You know Steve Parish will show you Palaces revolving door.
Steve thought he’d struck a bargain in hiring a Dutch treat,
But Franks tenure was brutally short, Steve acted tout suite,
Long suffering patience is not something Parish has time for;
Ask last years Manager, or any of the many who went before.
Lance Armstrong comes to our fair shores to do a tv spot about ‘The consequences.’ This ad is for a beer company! Draw you own conclusions about recreational use.
Bringing out a seven times Tour De France champion- sorry, pharmaceuticaly enhanced Champion to tell us his tragic tale seems a bit on the nose. However sorry you are Lance,sorry I’m not buying it. Anyway Lance doesn’t seem a beer drinking kinda guy, surely he’s a shots sort of dude?
Lance truly deeply sincerely regrets
Sullying the good name
Of his spotlessly clean pristine sport.
So he’s paying his debts,
He’s talking a fair game,
A humbling lesson has been taught.
No more pre-test cold sweats;
Nowadays he can truly claim
He’ll pis… pass any toxicology report.
But it’s not the condemnation that upsets,
What still causes pain and shame
Isn’t doing the crime, but getting caught.
South African cricket captain Faf du Plessis was ‘dissapointed’
at the booing he received from the Adelaide crowd after making a superb 100 in the third test.
Du Plessis became an object of the crowds ire the week before when the ICC officially charged him with ball tampering for using a lolly to shine the ball in the previous Hobart test. Faf pleaded guilty to the charge.
After the great century du Plessis made
What boorishness the Okker crowd displayed,
He was dismayed by the crowds unsporting booing
-It’s not as if Fafing about was all he had been doing.
Perhaps if Faf needed a hint
The crowd reminded him of a mint,
And that they thought he was a cheat,
And his hundred didn’t taste quite so sweet.
Next time, Faf, don’t be a drip,
Clench that jaw, close tight that lip,
Don’t suck on that digit, keep it clean,
Jeez, Faf, think where that fingers been?