All the heroes in Hitchcock movies are suave, smooth, debonair and ice-cool in a crisis. Not in my real life.

Crisis Management Mansplained.

I woke up to Lou calling out my name,
Deep from sleep my fogged-up brain came,
I saw my sweet spouse clinging to the wall,
I felt my heart leap, then start to free-fall,
Says she evenly 'better give the Doc a call.'

Hands flew to my Flip-top, I dropped it cold-
Can't make the call if I've no phone to hold-
Lou looked at the floor as I hard scrabbled,
Fingers fumbled as I cursed and babbled,
Prayers to find my phone garbled and gabbled.

Found the f- flipping thing, called a Paramedic,
My rabid request for assistance, less than poetic,
My usual smooth silver tongue turned traitor,
How did the receptionist not need a translator?
Anyways, a 'medic arrived a few minutes later.

Kara sat down, went through the tests
For strokes, clots and cardiac arrests,
I looked on fretfully, trying to bravely cope,
My cool equanimity on a slippery slope,
And Kara looked up from her stethoscope...

She said to me 'I'm going to give
The patient a quick acting sedative,
It's not serious, but you must know
Your Lou is suffering a bout of vertigo,
And to our clinic you two should go.'

She sternly said 'take these pills, as directed,
Two of these will keep her calm and collected,'
She gave two to Lou and tossed three to me,
'Lou's slightly dizzy, but you're all in a tizzy,'
Lou pithily said 'no man for a crisis, is he?' 

                  'Give me strength to deal with my light-headed  affliction'

'Woke up in a panic,
Like someone's fired a gun,
I wish I could be dreaming,
But the nightmares just begun.'
The Kinks 'State Of Confusion.'

Folks, don't be concerned, my Lou is recovering well enough. Taking it easy, lots of rest, avoiding quick movements, pressing cold compresses on the fevered brow. She's doing one hell of a job- I should be up and about soon enough... 

©Obbverse.